Advice on Self-weaning 11 Month Old

My story is just like Katherine B`s. My son weaned himself at 8 months although I had been hoping to go for a year. He just lost interest after I had been leaving him for mornings with my mother-in-law and she had been feeding him with a bottle. I also felt very sad and rejected, but we more than made up for it with cuddles and story times. Now he is 3 and we still have a very close bond.
L. P

My son weaned himself at 8 months - as soon as he could hold his bottle (of breast milk that daddy would feed him) by himself. I felt dejected too, as I was hoping to go a full year. I tried to continue, but he would arch his back and clearly didn't want the breast anymore. I bit the bullet and switched him to formula and is 3 now and still thriving!

You said you were worried about him getting all the nutrition he needs. You may want to look at the other foods you're feeding him, what you let him drink? It may help to look at what nutrition he needs and work his meals around that, so that you don't have to worry about nutrition from nursing-it's just a bonus--especially with his immune system. I had problems nursing my son (and only did so for 5 months) but he was done with his bottle by 10 mo. He simply refused. He was too "grown up." My daughter, on the other hand, nursed and had bottles until she was 14 months, possibly into 15 months. She hasn't been as advanced as my son was, but both still walked before 9 mo, so I don't think activity level played into their nursing/bottles. And, if your son is advanced, he's probably getting all the nutrition he needs. I wouldn't worry about it, but I know it's sad when nursing stops-it was for me at least. Good luck!

My son weaned himself right around one year of age and I was sad but I was relieved that he did it himself so I never had to do it. Look at it this way--wouldn't you rather endure feeling rejected yourself than risk HIM feeling rejected when you decide to wean him? (If you would do so--I guess not everyone pushes a child toward weaning). I knew I wanted to nurse for a year but had no idea how I would handle trying to wean when I was ready to do so b/c I knew how terrible I'd feel not letting my son nurse if he wanted to. I'm an adult so I'd rather I go through the feelings of sadness and rejection than my son. I felt good about nursing him as long as he wanted to nurse.

As others have said, he could be much more efficient at nursing now than he was, so the sessions are now much shorter. Is he producing enough wet diapers each day?

It could be that's he's very interested in solids, which can cause a dip in your supply, which makes him less interested in nursing. I think this (along with pumping issues) happened to me. It was a vicious cycle.

I think it's much more likely for a baby to self-wean around 14-16 months.

I also think it's very unlikely that he's weaning. Check out what kellymom has to say about it, and maybe contact LLL for help. Anthropologists say that the human baby naturally self-weans between the ages of 5 and 7 YEARS, so self weaning before 1 year seems unlikely. You'll see on kellymom, that a lot of moms misinterpret "nursing strikes" and milestone changes as weaning - but just keep offering the breast (and not supplementing) and when he's hungry or interested enough he'll start nursing more again. Also, keep in mind that most women produce more milk at night and in the wee hours of the morning, so if that is when he's mostly nursing, he's probably getting more than if he were nursing the same amount during the day. And it's true that as they get older, babies get way more efficient at draining the breast. During milestones - like walking, babies tend to eat less and often even stop gaining weight, but once the novelty has worn off, they'll compensate with a growth spurt. Keep in mind that supplementing with formula or expressed milk, daycare, etc CAN affect the baby and MIGHT lead to early weaning (because it affects the natural physical bond between mommy and baby). I nursed my first son for 3.5 years when he self-weaned, but even that was a result (I believe) of some rude comments made several times by a trusted adult friend. My son has always been very advanced and big for his age, but he was still a "baby" physiologically, without a fully developed immune system (one of the reasons to nurse to get mommy's antibodies, etc until the child's immune system can do it on their own at around 5 years old). There are so many physiological reasons for a baby to nurse as long as possible - as well as the emotional ones!

It is normal for kids to cut back on their nursing as solids take over. Weaning is a process. However, 11 months would be very early for a child to self-wean without encouragement from Mom.

My daughter was cutting back on nursing, but I got pregnant with her brother when she was 15 months. She became fixated on nursing with the reduction in my milk supply and likely her emotional needs from all the changes.

Hi, H.. There could be dozenss of reasons why his nursing may have declined - end of a growth spurt, tooth pain, enjoyment and filling up on solids, simply getting busy and distracted, etc.

When he ends a nursing session, does he simply let go? Or does he struggle and sit up and want off of your lap. If he jus tpulls away, it could be mouth pain or it could be some bad habit he picked up. When my youngest was about 4-5 months, she startted to do this weird thing where she would suck for 2 minutes, and then suck suck, let go, such suck let go. It was exasperating. My LC advised changing the routine in every way I could. If normally I nursed lights ooff with in a cradle hold, then she said to strip her clothes turn on lights and music and feed her upright or football hold. It worked - it got her out of the bad habit and I have nursed her for 12 more months. So maybe try to change the habit of him letting go. Have you considered having a brief consult with an LC? they can be magicians.

At that age, especially wiht a physically advanced child, it is possible he just has better things to do. He may drink during the day for thirst and at night for nurishment. He may be getting more milk in the evening now that his day nursing is declining. Perhaps, make the daytime nursing a more sedate peaceful less on the go event to minimize distraction. Is he getting other liquid - milk/formula or water from a sippy? If so, that's great because he needs to stay hydrated, But don't let him fill up on liquids or solids before nursing.

My older daughter self weaned at 13 months, but she was in day care and was bottle fed a lot. She just stopped asking and it was traumatic for me because it ended abruptly. So enjoy the time you have with him now, and be proud you did this great for so long. My second daughter is almost 18 months and I wish she would wean!!! She will go several days in between asking. I am happy to oblige, but it's hard to know what she's thinking. So, every baby and situation is a bit different.

Odds are he is simply cutting back, not stopping. If you are worried about his intake of milk you could pump or offer formula. Soon, you will introduce milk anyway, and the feedings will be cut back because of that. Look at it this way, isn't it easier on everyone for him to make the decision, then for you to have to wean him? Enjoy him and good luck. :)

I understand how hard this can be. I ended up weaning my son at 11 months (He is 15 months now). His interest in nursing had dropped off significantly and his attention span for it was nil. My husband took a photo of the last time I nursed him and I look like my best friend died. I was SOOOO sad. It only took a couple of weeks for me to grieve it and move on, but it was hard. Follow his lead.

I think it is normal. My daughter weaned herself from the breast at 4 months. She would not take the breast by then. She was cry and scream and fight the breast. I went to the bottle and she was happy and willing to eat. She still got breast milk 99 percent of the time, just in the bottle. She doesn't stay still long enough to finish a bottle, unless it is time for bed. As a side note, she was walking at 10 months old. She seems older than a 13 month old girl. She has also done most milestones early. Don't worry, as long as he is growing and gaining some weight and hitting his milestones, I am sure he is okay.

I don't think there is a right or wrong age for children to wean themselves. My son weaned himself at 5 1/2 months. I wanted to go for a full year, not only for the convenience but also because of the cost of formula. I did feel rejected at first, when I tried to nurse him one night he just would not do it. He cried and pulled away. I tried again the next day and after that he just kept doing the same. It was frustrating but I think the biggest mistake I made was I decided to stop pumping when he stopped nursing-I was not a stay at home Mom. This was a very big shock to my body which up until then had been tolerating the extra calories that I craved and burning them off when he nursed. I gained 15 pounds in just a couple of weeks! It took a while to lose it again but I did. It just helped me to realize with the next child when the time comes I will need to continue to pump and allow my body to transition easier. My son did start to walk at 9 months and he has always been very active and independent. I do hope to go the full year with my next child but as for 11 months, I would be exstatic! You should not be worried, you should be proud of doing so well! Some women don't try to nurse at all or give up after only trying for a few weeks. I had many issues nursing for the first 3 months with my son, but I stuck to it and I was happy to at least get the time that I did! You should be too!

I don't think he is self weaning! I think like the others who posted that he is interested in other things, he's eating more solids, and he is very efficient at getting the milk that he wants. DS is 12 months and he is a short nurser too unless he needs comfort or he is sleepy. I would also recommend checking out www.kellymom.com. It's the best place for breastfeeding advice. Just do a search on their site and you will find great advice. It has saved my nursing relationship to go on there.

Hi there!
Congrats on nursing for 11 months, isn't it great???

I would recommend going to www.kellymom.com. Go to the message boards, and post this on a board. You will get TONS of very supportive and very helpful advice. Could be something called a nursing strike, not necessarily weaning.

Good luck!!
See you on Kellymom!

:)

Maybe pump a bit to keep up your supply and see if he would take it from a bottle for a week (while he's doing all that walking?) and then try more nursing again...basically just shake things up a bit. Or nurse and read a book to him IF he'll lay still and listen and not hurt you...it might keep his interest more. My son used to nurse and look around the room because being still was so uninteresting now that he was mobile. Just wanted to encourage you that you can get through this and nurse for as long as you want. Kids change and we go along for the ride and try and find new ideas that work! Hugs, D.

I know your pain! My son was 8 months old when he started crying after a minute or two of nursing, it was really sad to realize that he didn't want breast milk anymore. Actually, I don't think he was rejecting me or the breastmilk, I was just unable to keep up with the supply that he needed. I couldn't pump enough at that time either.
Like yours, my son also was ahead of his time. He was walking on his own at 10 months, and everything else has been early too.
He is almost 2 now, and I am so very proud of him and how smart and strong he is. Now when I look back at when he weaned himself, it seems like yet another epidose in the growth of Ian that shows how independent and strong-willed he is (in a good way).
I was sad at the time when he decided to wean himself, plus I didn't want to buy formula until he could go to cow's milk! But I am confident in the fact that I've let HIM be the boss of his own growing-up. If he "says" he's ready for the next step, then let him be ready for the next step.
Hope this helps.
S.

Well, as you obviously see from the varied responses you have gotten, nursing and weaning are very controversial issues for a mom. =) When I had my first child, I agonized over every decision simply because there are so many different and very STRONG opinions on the subject. My advice, please please follow what is best for not only your son, but for you as well. I nursed my daughter for a year and half and she was very happy to take to cow's milk after that and actually was a happier baby after she switched to cow's milk (more active, slept better and longer, was more alert and happy when she was awake). So, because of that, I definitely feel she was ready. There's also a lot of debate on whether it truly is better for a child to nurse beyond a year or two years. Is it better for the whole family? Is it really better for the child in all areas? Only you can determine that. My son (second child) self-weaned himself (yes, he really did; it wasn't just a phase!). I tried to continue past 10 months, but he was DONE! He had his first taste of cow's milk at 11 months and never went back. He went straight to a sippy cup and was using a real cup by 18 months. In his case, I think it's a lot more to do with his personality. And, just like my daughter, once he decided that's what he wanted, he was happier. Anyway, that's my story. I hope you can sort through all the different "opinions" (that's really what they are), and come up with what's best for your family. I wish you the best!