My child is expected at the end of may, and our wedding is scheduled for the top of august. i had wanted an adult only reception to keep costs down. we have a lot of out of town guests arriving and may be bringing their children ranging in ages 1-17. i don't know if i should provide childcare or if i should just suck it up and welcome the entire family. If I do allow their children, do I open the reception to all children-- both those in and out of town?
One of the best weddings I went to was where the bride and groom actually hired a party entertainer for the kids. He did magic, made all the kids balloon animals, just generally entertained the kids, and incidentally lots of the adults thought it was very entertaining too! Just another option you could look into!
N. - I think it unfair (and possibly hurtful) to allow some kids, but not all. I don't think there's anything wrong with saying "adults" only; just be prepared: some people may not come if they cannot bring their kids. I think it would be appropriate to assist out of town guests with "finding" childcare, but I don't think it's your responsibility to pay for it. I don't know where your reception is, but if it's at a hotel, you could do as my friends did: they got an adult and some teens to keep all of the kids entertained in a hotel room during the reception. Out of town guests were more comfortable knowing their kids were in the building and not at some strange location or strangers home. Good luck & God Bless!
It is very hard to tell some people their children can come and some that they cant. You will learn that they will take it very personally when you tell them their child is not invited. I know it will add an expense to your wedding but will be worth it. I did invite choldren to my wedding and am very happy that I did. I had a childrens table for those old enough to sit withour their parents. At the table I had coloring books, crayons, bubbles, etc to keep them occupied. And when it came to dancing it was great. The kids got everything started. It was a lot of fun. You can talk to your reception site and ask what they suggest for kids. Mine only had me pay $12 per child under 12 for dinner. No matter what it is your day so enjoy it.
www.kidzinthebizz.org
I did not allow children at my wedding, it made for some hurt feelings and one lost friendship, but... it was my wedding, my wishes, and my money!
There isn't a right or wrong answer here, personally, I would allow all children if I allowed any only because I am inviting these guests to join me celebrate and alot of them would probably understand if they were asked, however, how it appears from the outside looking in is just as important. Providing day care can be very costly and are you sure all the out of towners agree to have their children in day care? It may be more of an imposition to some of them. If you should decide to do the adult only, you may want to consider shortening the reception to a couple of hours which will most likely just include dinner or just refreshments. And who will be with your NEWBORN? Your little angel is already amongst you, personally, I would just make it a family affair, it may be a little harder, more expensive, but it's a once in a lifetime event, where you will be surrounded by loving family and friends. Maybe you can reconsider where your other expenses are and see if you could move somethings around, without knowing, it's hard to say..... You may want to consider appointing perhaps, some of the teenagers that will be there to oversee the rugrats! (kidding) and provide them with some activities that could be done during the reception and pay them a little something, it's a thought.....you still have a (very little time) to work out the details, maybe you can share a little more and maybe we can help.....CONGRATULATIONS! ON YOUR NEW HUBBY N BABY! HOPE YOU ALL HAVE THE LIFE DREAMS ARE MADE OF!
It's not your repsonsibility to provide baby-sitting. However, if they are out of town guests know that you might have to suck it up or risk that they will feel slighted and not attend. The choice is yours, but know that with every choice there are consequences. If you do choose to open the door make sure that there are some activities for the kids. You can create a special area in your reception hall that is specifically for the kids. Be creative with that one.
When I got married I had family and friends all coming from out of town. My theory is that they took the time and money to come to my wedding the least I can do is open it up to children also. Mind you I didn't open it up to all, just close relatives and out of towners. I would still mention in the invitation adult affaire only. Then verbally inform the people you are ok with to bring their kids. I had a table reserved for all the small kids and did not feed them. I set their table with fun activites and snacks and drinks in cute bags for each of them. If you can get a few older kids to set with them and entertain. It actually worked out perfect. Most of the parents of the small children took them to Mcdonalds before the reception. I did however had a small time gap. As you know being a new mom to be you will find yourself becoming more child accomadating. Check with the reception place if it would be ok to save a couple of tables for that reason and you might want to ask for a childrens menu and price. It is still pretty pricey. Good luck and congratulations!! If you need anymore ideas pls. let me know.
How about asking a teenager (or a couple of them) to watch the kids for you as a wedding present?
If any kids are invited, I think all should be.
However, it is YOUR day and you should do what you prefer. There is no way to please everyone. It is up to the parents to figure out care for their children. If you do have someone who is trustworthy available to watch them, I would say that is a bonus for the other parents. If not, it's really not your responsibility.
I know there are tons of babysitting services for groups of children. Maybe you could set one up and have all the parents chip in for the cost. I believe they plan games and such so it would be special/fun for the kids and less hassle for parents trying to find a sitter in a strange town.
Hi N.,
I do wedding photography and have found that it is a rare occasion for a wedding not to include children. I am not saying it is right or wrong, but just that it doesn't happen too often.
My suggestions if you are dead set against children, is to make it difficult to bring children, but be prepared for that family not to come. You could make the menu more of an adult menu and move the time to more of an evening event (not a good idea for the photos). I think it is a wonderful idea to open a room for the kids nearby as some have suggested. You could do this with a seperate insert to the invetation...suggesting they bring a snack, sleeping bag and pillow. I am not sure how you would go about the sitter because I don't feel that is your responsibility.
C.
I don't think it's reasonable (or fun) to exclude children from a family wedding and can't imagine any kind of wedding without them!
If guests are coming from out of town and you don't welcome their children ... well, I wouldn't do that.
Let them know that children are not 'required' to attend. The teens might butt out then!
