Advice on Preparing 4 1/2 Y/o Boy and 2 Y/o Daughter for Their New Sister

You could always try to include them in activities that have to do with the baby. (If you're changing a diaper, have them help you get the wipes, things like that.) You could tell them they're mommy's special helpers, so then they feel like you still care and you're not picking favorites. They just want to know you still love them just the same and there are no favorites, they also feel good when they get to help you. (Trust me, my mom did that with me and my sister, and we didn't have many problems.)

Dear M.

First of all congrats! What an exciting time. I can only tell you what we did for my oldest when we brought home her twin brother and sister. She was almost three at the time. We wanted her to feel special and included. She and I made her a special t-shirt to wear when the babies came home that said big sister on it. She decorated it with fabric paint (messy but fun). Also since we knew that with two younger siblings she would have jelousy issues so we emphasized all the things she was alowed to do or have that babies can't have. Like her favorite foods and playing on the play ground. So she would feel like she had it good so to speak. It helped a bunch and now she is excited for them when they get tp try something like chocolate for the first time.

Hope that helps.
G.

Our daughter turned 2 exactly one week before I had our second child - a boy (we didn't know the sex). we didn't do too much extensively before the baby was born to prepare her except involve her as much as we could (she talked to the baby, kissed my belly, we talked about how she could be a big helper and how exciting it was going to be to be a big sister) I also bought a book called "I'm A Big Sister" by Joanna Cole (they also have "I'm A Big Brother". We read it daily and I know hear her saying things from the book to her little brother. We also bought her a "Best Big Sister" shirt so she had a special outfit to wear to the hospital and that got her some extra attention from the nursing staff which made her proud.

Another thing that worked well for us was when our daughter came to the hospital for the first time, my husband went downstairs to get her from my dad and when she came into the room, the baby was in the bassinet so she couuld run over and jump in the bed to see me and spend a few minutes with me and then we introduced her to the baby. She didn't want much to do with him at first (just looked at him) but we didn't force her to hold him or kiss him, etc and she decided when she was ready. She LOVES her brother!

Good luck!

M.,

Congratulations on your new arrival and your other children as well. I would help your older ones make or buy a special gift for the baby and when the baby comes, have it give them each a gift too. I know there are story books out about accepting a new baby in the family. Allow them to have their feelings and show your understanding of them. Don't let them feel they are "wrong" to feel jealousy, etc. Just help them see the positive. Also, you might prepare them for the fact that the baby won't "play" for a while. Let them be part of the preparation -- preparing the crib, choosing clothes, getting the room ready, buying diapers, etc. You want to have them feel it's "their" baby.

V.

We had "Big Brother Parties" for boys. We made sure that we were excited about the new babies before hand and got them each a small gift from the baby upon arrival but we also hosted a party in honor of the big brothers. We rented a moon bounce and had a big brother cake, invited a bunch of their friends, told the parents no presents and let our kids be celebrated. They really liked introducing the baby with their friends, showing off how carefully they hold their sibling and they were really careful to explain all the ways you have to be careful around a new baby. It was basically a glorified play date. All I served was cake in the afternoon. I think the first time I did it was right after school on a Friday. Worked like a charm. We have the party a month or two after the birth for the germ factor.

It sounds like I have 12 kids. LOL I only have 3. But I did this for numbers 2 and 3. : )

Hi M.! What an exciting time for you! It is very important to give both your children a feeling of being included in the birth and celebration of your new baby. My motherinlaw brought my son, who was 2 at the time his sister was born, a gift whne she came to the hospital to visit my newborn daughter. It was a "big brother" gift and made him feel special. My mom took my son on a special "big boy" outing a day or two after my daughter was born, and he really enjoyed it! It is also helpful to assign little jobs to you older children, jobs that can assist in taking care of the baby. For example, have your son be in charge of getting the diaper when it needs changing. Praise him and let him know what a big help he is when he does this. The main objective is to let both children know they have not lost their specialness to the new baby. You will do just fine, and they will welcome the new baby just fine, nature has a way of working it all out!

J.

Aloha M.,

I used to read books to my kids about being a big brother or big sister and how important they are.....and that mom & dad love them very much.....and that it will be important that they help with the baby (even if it's as simple as grabbing the diaper bag for mommy).

Congratulations on the upcoming new arrival :O)

Marie-anne
www.healthyohana.net

We are in the same position. What we did is we went to the library and checked out alot of books about siblings and baby. Our favorite is "Now We Have A Baby" by Lois Rock. There are so many books out there. Check out your library and if you need help, talk to the librarians, they are wonderful help!

Good luck! And take Care!

congrats on your soon to be new baby. it's fun having 3 kids. What I did for my 2 older kids when I was expecting my 3rd child is bought a gift for each of them. When I came home w/the baby from the hospital, we gave the 2 older kids each a present "from the baby". My husband & I made sure it was something the 2 older kids liked. They still remember what they got from the "baby brother". Have fun w/your kids!

When my youngest was born, her older brothers were seven and two. We read books to them about new babies in a house - the Bernstein Bears have a good one. We also talked about how lucky the baby was to have them as big brothers. They each picked out an outfit for the baby to wear, and together the boys picked out a stuffed animal to bring to the hospital. We tried very hard, especially with the two year old, to make sure he knew how important he was to the baby. In the hospital each of the boys got their own time to hold their sister, and once we were home, I made sure the boys got to see their sister in the outfit they'd picked out. Hope some of this helps.

i just went thru this adjustment. and i found that reading books with them beforehand was best. i searched amazon.com and found some that worked for us. my kids were very at peace about it when the time came, and they had a good idea of what to expect. good luck!

Not trying to be "pushy" but I sell kids books and have agood one about "the New Baby". It is a good one and is perfect for the ages of your kids, has 2 levels. It seemed to help my kids and I recently brought home my 3rd child. Please email me if you are interested, and most of all GOOD LUCK!!!

Our newborn came into the world bearing a gift for his older brother. My older son was so happy at the thoughtfullness of this little baby that he loved him instantly!

Before I brought my son home, my daughter who was 20 months and my step daughter who was 10 made t shirts. I'm the big sister t shirts. We got cheap shirts and puffy paint and they decorated them. They still wear them 2 years later! I also included her in the daily stuff, she was a big helper. She was still little and I found that in the first few months after I had my son, she was right next to me too! She was still the baby but learning to share me and daddy with her brother. Now he is 2 1/2 and they are very close and very thoughtful of each other. Have fun!

When my middle daughter was born, my son was two and had no problem. When our third was born 14 months ago, our middle had a few problems with it. It depends on your children's personalities as to how they'll react to a new baby. Our son is very sweet and calm and our daughter is a wild child who loves to be the center of attention. I talked to them before our third was born, had them talk to my belly, etc., and we still had problems with our middle child, so I really don't know if there is a way to prepare them. As long as they know that they have to be gentle with the new baby, they should be fine. Just try to give them as much attention as possible and let them know that you love them as much as you love the new baby. Good luck with the new one!

I think sometimes as parents we overthing and worry about things too much. I think kids are fine for the most part with the arrival of a new sibling. I have three myself and each time I made sure I just emphasized how this new little person was "his" little brother and how "he" was a big brother now, etc. Just as long as you include them in this event I think they will be fine. I can see how a new baby would take the focus off them a little and how some kids might have a hard time, but since this is your 3rd, you already know what to expect with a baby in the house and I think you will know what your older kids need, and what the new baby needs so you will do fine. I wouldn't be concerned.

When the two younger ones come to see you at the hospital and meet their new little sister for the first time . . . Have a small trinket for each of them in the bassinet to give them as gifts from the new baby. This will help ease normal feelings of jealousy when the new baby arrives. Also, make sure when your other two children come to visit you for the first time DO NOT be holding the baby when they enter the room. Instead have the baby in the bassinet then you and the two younger children all go to look and pick up the baby together (and give them their gifts.) Best of Luck! Jules

Congrats M.! What a fun time! I have a 6.5 y/o and a 3 y/o and # 3 is due in May. My daughter was wonderful when we brought my son home but I'm not sure how my son will do with his new baby brother. He's so excited about he "baby brofer" in my tummy but I'm not sure he gets it that this little guy will be coming home to stay forever. So we pulled out one of my daughter's old cabbage patch kids and we have been "practicing" with the "baby". We practice helping mommy wrap the blanket, change the diaper, lay the baby down to sleep. And most importantly we practice being quiet when the "baby" is napping. It's been fun for the kids to learn how to do things and practice. But most importantly my son has started saying things like "when the baby brofer comes home...". So I think he's getting it that all of these things we're doing are going to be things we'll do when his brother comes home. My daughter is also very helpful with her little brother so we are blessed with her. Good luck and congrats!!

What I did was pull out the pictures of my other kids from right after they were born, and talk about how excited we were to have them in the family. That way they knew we loved them just as much.

My girls r only 15m apart. My oldest thought she was a live baby doll but knew she was the big sis and mommy needed help. Explain to them when u bring the baby home. And also make sure u give each one the same amount of attention. Include the older one's in changing and bathing. That will also help in the transition. Good Luck.

I'm not sure you can ever prepare for how a child will respond to a newcomer. However, some things that worked a little for me--because the baby was receiving so many gifts, etc. I also wrapped small toys, etc. as "brother or sister presents". That way they didn't feel completely left out. I also referred to the baby as ""their baby so they felt a part of the process. You might let them help fold small clothes or arrange a few things in the babies room, etc. When my younger son was born and I was nursing him, I always tried to read to my older son at that time. This seemed to soothe both of them. Congrats on your new arrival. I'm sure all will work itself out in time.