Advice on Non Related Boys and Girls Living Together

I don't have any experience with the kind of situation you're trying to decide on, but it seems to me your son's father may have a valid concern--not necessarily now, but within a few years. Kids are growing up so fast nowadays, especially where sex is concerned--just look at what the media throws at them and the way little girls are expected to dress. If I were in your position, I'd feel more comfortable having the girl share the basement with her mother or I'd share the basement with my son--at least there is more supervision possible that way and less potential for the kind of early exploration your son's father is concerned about.

Hi A.,

What a great opportunity for you and your friend to be able to help each other out and move in together.

Although both your children are young right now and having them sleep in the same area might be ok for now, but as kids get a little older, they do get curious. It's totally normal. But it may not be a good idea as they get a little older for them to be sleeping and sharing a bathroom on a seperate floor then you and your friend.

I hope it all works out for you. I was once a single mom so I know how difficult it can be financially. Wishing you the best!

A.,

As much as you do not want to side with your ex, he is absolutley correct with his concerns. Kids at that age do not understand boundries and intimacy. I truly believe you are asking for possible problems. Listen to your ex!!!

S.

Hi A.,

I think it's a great gift you are giving to your friend to let her move in with you. It's so hard for single moms when they find themselves in a situation like this.

I think that your ex husband is right to be concerned about this. But I think that just being aware of the situation might be enough. I don't recommend the sleeping arrangements that you said you were planning. I would keep one upstairs and one downstairs. And not allow them to share a bathroom.

It's very normal for kids to be curious at this age and I think that you should not put them in situations where they can explore in this way.

I'm not saying that you are putting them in a situation like that, but just that in every hour of the day, you will need to be aware and have an eye on them. Just the fact that you are moving in together will spark their interest.

When I was younger, I thought that the kids were completely uninterested in this kind of stuff and my boys loved playing with the nextdoor neighbor girls. I felt like all their activities were very well supervised but found out later that they had opportunities to explore each other. It blew my mind and I wasn't quite sure how to handle it, but it happened even under my close watching eye.

So all this to say - Don't think that just because they are well supervised that things can't happen. They are curious and will continue to get more and more curious as they get older. You may think you know your children well and they don't seem interested, but I think you (like me) will be very surprised.

Good luck with this!

A., Do take dad's thoughts into consideration because there is sexual curiousity in young ones. I experienced this with my almost 6 year old daughter last month. We have many friends with kids of all ages. We do many outings, playgroups,etc... She has known all these kids since there births. We caught my daughter and one male friend peeking at genitals. We had big discussions with our kids seperately and together. We haven't noticed anymore issues of this. Curiousity is innocent but could lead to other issues. Just keep that eye on the kids. Monitor things and have a big discussion about privacy. I recommend not talking about anything sexual in nature just let them know to knock before enter each others bedrooms, etc... It will be good. Good luck.

I think that kids will explore but it is normal but I do not think that bc your son has a girl in the house that he is going to want to do any more than what is normal. You are going to have to have a talk with your ex and let him know that. Good luck

I have an 8 year old daughter and my fiance has an 8 year old son we have been together for five years now and lived together for 4 1/2. As long as your kids know what is appropriate and what is not and you teach them the right things it shouldnt be a problem. I dont think it needs to be blown out of proportion you cant watch them all the time you just have to trust that your kids know what they are supposed to do. I dont think you need to completely rearrange your house you should be fine just keep an eye out for strange behavior yes kids experiment at that age but that doesnt mean you have to stand over them 24 hours a day there is no need to punish your child because they have normal behavior.

You will not need to put ideas in their heads, TV does that for you. You also need not worry if you kids trust you. Your ex is bring up issues that does not concern him and why would he think that anyway? Does he know something you don't. Yes, he is overreacting and you always resort to your best judgment. -Washington