J.M.
wow! It did me alot of good to read this and the responses as my hubby also works 12-14 hr days sometimes 7 days a week. He also spends alot of time on the computer and unwinding. I almost always ask him to do bedtime for our toddler if he is home at bedtime (usually just in time). This just means reading stories and saying prayers as I do the "hard" work of bathing and dressing usually. That way daddy and him get fun time together and its the end of the day so it sticks best in his memory. Also, if he is going to run an errand or something I will ask if Matthew (son) can ride along. They usually end up making a mcdonalds stop and that makes them both happy. My hubby doesnt have alot of experiance with children and being gone all day he doesnt know HOW to interact. Like you said, they grow up so fast and with the hubby not being there alot they miss out on learning how to interact and keep up with that growth. Sometimes just getting them started in an activity together or just heading out on an errand of your own (even just for an hour) works great. When they arent confident in their parenting, having you, the expert, hover makes them feel incompetent and they wont even try for fear of "failing". Also, when I am not around my husband parents in ways I wouldnt. He lets my son watch shows I dont and they do things I wouldnt even think of and probubly wouldnt aprove of much BUT as long as they are getting together time and being safe I let him do it. Its not an everyday thing and its specific to Daddy which is important. Make sure and take Date nights at least a few times a month because when you connect as a couple you can more effectively communicate and parent as a team. I guess this is pretty long, but I have been working (and it will continue to be work) on this problem for almost 3 years. Good Luck, Jen