E.R.
There are 2 types of custody, Legal custody deals with financail responsibility, and physical custody is whom the child will primarily stay with.
Legal custody-most courts award joint legal cusody, this means each parent will be 50% responsible for childs expences (above and beyond daily living expences, witch is covered by child support)This usually includes things like school tuition, extra curricular activities and DR bills not covered by insurance.
Physical custody is given to whomever will be primary care giver of said child, this person also recieves child support from the other parent for day to day living expences.
Visitation really depends on the wishes of the non custodial parent. You cannot force someone to visit with his/her child. (while actually you can through the courts, but with disaterous results. IE dad takes child and drops him off with another person until it is time to go home).
Make sure to at least talk to a lawyer who specailizes in family law BEFORE signing any thing at the court house.
If things get nasty the court WILL appoint a gaurdian at litem for your child, which doesn't mean you lose you child, but this person will make a recomendation as to who gets custody (and 9 times out of 10 the court will follow the recomendation)
Let me know if you need to talk or vent. And do get that counseling-if it's not covered by your insurance you can still get help.