Advice on Allowance And/or Chore Charts for 5-Year-old?

My son is 4. We have a rule that if he wants a toy he can either add it to his wish list for bithday or christmass or he can buy it with his allowance. This works great because everytime we are in a store he wants to look at the toys. We let him but at the same time he never asks for a toy because he knows he can't just get a toy unless he has enough money. He get's money by watching his younger bother for a little bit, cleaning his room and keeping it clean, picking up his toys, helping load the dish washer, etc... I give him a $1 for baby sitting and $.25 or $.50 for everything else. He also gets money for leaning. Every letter he can recognize and write he geta a $1 for. I gave up on the chore chart but he knows if he wants stuff he has to work for it. I also kind of cap it off at $4 or $5 a week.

I have a daughter who is 6 1/2 and we've recently started giving her an allowance of $1.00 per week. You WILL get conflicting advice about this, but I strongly feel that allowance is for learning about money and NOT tied to chores. Chores are done because she is part of our family and we all help.

Outcomes that I've seen when allowance is tied to chores (I've helped raise two stepkids who are 26 & 23): kids refusing to do anything to help unless they are paid for it, kids choosing to go without the money so they don't have to do the chores, parents using the denial of allowance for punishment for ANYTHING done "wrong" during the week until money becomes a manipulation tool and a power game.

We all have "stuff" about money and the goal is to recognize that and raise a child with a healthy attitude about money and themselves.

I have mixed feelings on allowance.

I donot feel I need to pay my child to be a part of our family and do her share when it comes to chores. I don't get paid for being the mom.

I do like the idea of earning money and learning how to save it, pay tithing, etc.

Right now my daughter is almost 7 and she doesn't get allowance although I'm thinking of incorporating some sort of allowance maybe when school starts for good grades, behavior, and homework or something.

I hear ya on the toys, to much advertising out there. I just keep telling my daughter she'll have to wait for her birthday/christmas etc., we can't have everything we want.

Sara,

At age 6, my kids get $2.50 per month (not week) - $2 to keep, 25 cents tithing, 25 cents savings. I don't tell them how they can or can't spend their money that is to keep. It's theirs. I never buy them anything from the store - no candy, no toys, nothing. Gifts are for Christmas and birthdays. I think it is a really bad idea to give children things on a regular basis without them earning it. It sets up bad habits, a poor parent/child relationship and sends an unrealistic message about the real world that doesn't prepare them to be self-reliant adults.

Here's our chore chart for that age...

Morning routine -
Say prayers, get dressed, make bed, dirty laundry to basket, make breakfast, clear your dishes, dust buster the crumbs under the table, unload silverware and plastic plates, bowls and cups from dishwasher, fold clean clothes and put in dressers, brush teeth and hair, clean room, load backpack for school.

Evening routine -
Pick up toys, set table for dinner, clear table after dinner, dust buster under the table, make lunch for school, homework (or reading,) shower, put on pajamas and dirty laundry to basket, say prayers before bed.

We don't pay money for chores, but they earn "screen time" tickets when they do them. Each chore done without reminder equals 2 tickets (or minutes) in front of the computer or TV. 1 reminder means 1 ticket, 2 reminders means no tickets. If they did everything without any reminders, they would earn 30-40 minutes of screen time a day. They can spend it daily when all chores are done or save up for a few days to watch a Disney movie. (A religious children's cartoon on Sunday or family dates to the movie theatre don't cost tickets.)

I made my own chart out of construction paper and drew a little picture next to the words for my littlest boy who can't read. There is a pocket next to each chore to put the tickets in. When I get around to it, I want to get one of those hanging vinal sheets with all of the pockets in it. Then they can use index cards for their tickets and keep track of it that way.

When they ask if they can watch TV or get on the computer I ask, "Is your chart done? Do you have enough tickets?" They count their tickets, pay them and set the kitchen timer so they know when to turn off the screen. They are also responsible for paying themselves tickets when they do their chores. I keep an eye on it and am proud to say that they are so honest in their dealings with the chore chart.

If they want extra cash, they can earn it by doing some of mom and dad's jobs. And sometimes we just ask them to help us out so we have time to do more things with them. They help us with picking up leaves in the yard, weeding the garden and flowers, vacuuming, dusting, wiping mirrors and windows, helping wash the car, sorting laundry and starting the washer and dryer, etc.

Whatever you do, I think the important thing is to send the message that your family is a team and every member is needed. No one gets a free ride and everyone's contribution is important. I am straight with my kids about how much I need their help with the housework and how I couldn't do it all alone. Children don't need to be coddled, they need to feel like a contributor. I also help them see that the more they help me get done, the more time and energy I have to play with them.

Good luck,
S.

What we ended up doing with our six year old is each chore has it's own cost. Making bed .50 cents, helping with dishes is a 1.00. We do our dishes by hand! We do most of the dishes and leave her dishes for her to do! Dusting she gets .75 cents. Stuff like that! By the end of the week she ends up with about $5.00. She can spend it on her toys or a sweet she wants. She took me to mcdonalds last week for her treat. Of course i had to add a little of my money but she's starting to get the idea of saving her own money for things. I try to stay in .25 cent incerments. I think coin is easier for kids this age. Also helps with a teaching counting and different moneys. A must for kindergarden and first grade. As for a chart i tried it during potty training and i just didn't work for us. I would forget or we got too busy. Good luck i hope this helps!

My husband is a huge sports nut, so we use a team metaphor with our kids in a lot of different circumstances. Our boys get allowance based on their membership and participation in that team. We give a dollar per year (12 yr old gets $12 & 9 yr old gets $9) every 2 weeks, (on our payday). They each have 3 jars and like previous post, give, save, spend. They are in charge of what they put in each jar, and what they are saving for but once the money is in the jar, it can't be moved to another. We expect our children to be respectful, clean up their own messes, and be responsible for their own rooms and schoolwork. In addition, if we ask for a task to be completed, we expect them to do their best at it and with a positive attitude. Money has in the past been deducted for poor attitude or disrespect. This has worked very well for us and we started hen our oldest was 5. We have also taught our kids though that there are times when our budget is stretched too thin for a week or so, (like last summer when we relocated). In those times, the boys didn't mind making a sacrifice and were able to see the benefit to the family. They didn't hold it over our heads that we "owed them" and we made up the difference for their "pitch in attitude" once we were settled into a new routine. What ever you guys decide for our family will be the right decision for you. As for the chart, I have googled free printable chore chart in the past. I have found some really good ones you can customize how you want with various characters and then just slip in a plastic sheet and use a dry erase marker to check things off.

We started doing an allowance for our son, who is now 7 years old, when he was 5 (after he started kindergarten). He understands that he has to do his chores all week to earn his allowance and sometimes he doesn't earn it for the week. We give him $2 a week for cleaning his room, feeding the dogs, putting away certain dishes in the dishwasher, collecting the garbage in the bathrooms and laundryroom and putting a new garbage bag in the garbage can. The only catch is that since he is 7 years old, he has to do it without my husband and myself nagging him to do it. Which lately, he hasn't been doing, so no allowance has been paid. He really likes the idea of earning and saving money to buy things, but he doesn't quite get the fact that he just has to do it. We try to explain to him that nobody calls mom and dad everyday to remind us to go to work, we just remember to do it. I wouldn't go too crazy with the amount you give her for the chores she does currently, but I think it is important to link the allowance to earning it with chores or something. I don't believe a child should just be given money each week for doing nothing (that is how I was raised and that is how we will raise our children). In my opinion, it doesn't teach a child responsibility for earning the money. They just expect to be given a certain amount each week and eventually that ends up not being enough. My son loves it when he gets to earn a quarter for babysitting our 15 month old while I am in the shower or busy with something that will take me 20 to 25 minutes in a different room. He does a great job with it too and knows that if he does a good job that he will earn a quarter for his money bag.

Good Luck, I know it can be a tough decision on what to do when it comes to allowance for younger kids.

I don't know if you've heard of Dave Ramsey, but he has an incredible line of resources for children through adults on spending, saving, giving, etc. My husband and I just read The Total Money Makeover and LOVED it and are planning on getting the kids stuff, too! I think the kids one is Financial Peace Jr. Thraining Tomorrow's Millionaires. You can get more info at www.daveramsey.com. Hope this helps!!

We started our kids on allowance at age 5. We do not tie it to chores as we have taught our kids that in a family everyone has to pitch in and it is part of their responsiility to do as we ask without getting paid for it. Each child has three jars, one marked "give" one marked "save" and one marked "spend". We give them $5 per week. One dollar goes in the give jar, one in the save jar and three a week in spend. We let them give to anything that pulls at their heart, for example we went to sea world and our son loved the manatees and learned they were endangered so he asked to donate his give jar to a manatee rescue and rehabilitation center - and he even threw in a few bucks from his spending jar! Our daughter recently donate her give jar to the tornado victims in hugo. Once a month we go to the bank and deposit their "save" money there - Wells Fargo banks has a great kids saving program that helps them learn and get excited about saving. The spend jar is obviously what they spend. My daughter didn't but a thing for a whole year - even when her brother did - and saved up all by herself for an American Girl doll. The system has worked great for us.

I agree with many posts, and we do not pay our 5 year-old for doing chores. At this point, he only has a few like buckling his sister in the car (a huge help!), helping unload the dishwasher, using a handheld vacuum to clean under the kitchen table, putting some of his clean clothes away, etc. I think we will reevaluate his list every year around his birthday to add or change them. I have not used a chart, but that might be handy if there is something that needs to be done weekly. One thing we have done that I didn't see posted is that if he wants to earn extra money, he can ask for "jobs." These are things that are not part of his usual chores or picking up after himself. I might ask him to pick up our baby's toys or help sort or organize something. This has worked pretty well although sometimes it's hard to come up with "jobs." I also take away toys that are left out, and both of our older kids have to do "jobs" to earn them back. It's important to teach kids how to handle money, but it's also important that they learn that everyone in a family has to work to keep the household functioning. Good luck!

I started my daughter on an allowance when she started kindergarten last fall for the same reasons.
Here is what she gets:
$1 per week allowance
$1 per week if she keeps her room & playroom clean
$1 per week if she is not late for the bus (she tends to mess around in the morning)
$.50 if she feeds the cats
$.50 for emptying the small trash cans around the house.

When she enters first grade it will go up to $2 allowance with rest staying the same.

I keep her money in a checkbook register since she loses money. She has to pay for extra stuff like the fancy shampoo vs the cheap stuff & toys she wants. She has been really good at saving money & is saving for a Leapster game. The register is nice because she can see the money grow (or shrink) & it helps with her math skills.

Edited to add: my daughter does other chores than the ones above, but she doesn't get paid for them.

I understand you wanting to implement allowance, this is a great time to do so with your child. There are some things that your child shouldn't get paid for, those things that are are a regular part of family life (picking up after yourself, brushing teeth, etc.) but there are extra things that you can choose for your daughter to do that will be things to be paid for.

For a reusable chart, you could use a printable chore chart such as from http://www.handipoints.com/printchart.html?gclid=COm8ofnL..., and then you could laminate it in order to reuse it. You could also purchase small stickers from the dollar store for your daughter to place on the chart to reflect the chore being done.

Good luck in implementing an allowance system, as I think it would be fantastic for your daughters sense of self and autonomy.

In terms of the money issue, some banks have little "put it together yourself" cardboard piggy banks that are split in thirds--one to save, one to share, and one to spend. If your bank doesn't have one, maybe get her 3 small piggy banks that are different colors or designs with the same type of theme. SOrry, no particular advise on the chores at this time--my daughter just turned 4; but I thought the "split" bank was pretty clever.

We have recently started doing allowances. Our daughters are 51/2 and 8. We started both girls at the same time, but the expectations are higher for our older daughter. The form we use is from Shapes Etc., Danville, NY 14437. I'm not sure where we got it, but they are colorful, with both words and pictures for readers and non-readers.

The chores that the girls are responsible for are on the chart, and they each get paid 5 cents for each chore. When you consider that they could do many of the chores 7 times a week and there are 10-15 chores, they have the potential to earn $5 or more. I think it's important that they understand that money is earned.

We do include things on the chart like brushing teeth, taking a bath, reading a book in part because we were having a tough time getting our kids to do some of those things. However, it can't be a battle - they have to do it when they are asked, or else I could spend all day nagging, and who wants to do that? Then, when they ask for something at the store, I only need to say that they need to do those things to earn their money.

I 100% agree with SUe and Beth. I do not like when parents pay thier children for chores. I don't get paid to do my job, and while they dind't ask to be born, there is nothing wrong with them pulling thier own weight in the family.

My boys are 2 1/2 and 6, and they both have thier own chores. They make thier beds (to thier ability... I let it go), my oldest cleans thier bathroom, they both put thier clothes in the hamper, they are boht responsible for thier own rooms (again to thier ability, I do either let it go or help if needed) and they are both responsible for the playroom toys. My oldest likes to vacuum, and my youngest likes to dust. No, they don't do a perfect job with either, but they are trying ,and they love to help and I will foster that!

AS for allowance... my 6yr old does get $1/week, and he's not allowed to spend it until he reaches $10 or more. At first he would reach $10 and blow it all on a toy, but has now realized that $10 doesn't go far, and he's getting stingy! LOL!

My 2yr old obviously doesn't know the value of money yet, but when he is older we will od the same thing.

Make your children responsible for thier things, and pull thier weight in the family, but don't pay them for chores. My chldren will have chores required of them, and a small allowance just because. If they are misbehaving, fallign off the charts in school, etc then the allowance will go away until we are back on track.

Our five year old girl has been helping out with chores at our home. What we did was pick a specific time each day - for us it is after lunch. She is given a choice between two things (kids love choices!) i.e. wash the bathroom sink & counter or clean the hallway mirror. We have a simple chart with each day of the week and if she does her chore, we put a check. Each chore is worth 50cents. She can do extra chores for extra money. Amount decided when she does it. When starting, make a list of what you do to keep the house clean, mark things that she could help with. Let her see how many things are on this list to see what it takes to run a home. Tell her since she is a part of the family, she can help make her contribution by doing one thing a day - maybe have one day off per week i.e. Sunday. Payday for us is Sunday evening. This has been a great tool in teaching our daughter to count coins too! :) Let me know how it goes! ____@____.com

Hi Sara.

We do the share, save, spend program. My 7-yr old son gets $3 a week if his toy room and bedroom are picked up; and now the added chores due to summer vacation. When he receives his $3 he puts $1 in a save drawer, $1 in a spend drawer, and $1 in a share drawer. We purchased a small 3-drawer system at Wal-Mart for this purpose.

The save goes in the bank, the share is for church, toys for tots, major devastations (i.e., he donated to Hurricane Katrina and the horrible tornadoes here in Hugo MN and every year buys for toys for tots or this year he made boxes for church). And the spend is for him to save up and purchase whatever he chooses.

When he gets $$ for his birthday, I encourage him to put $2 in each drawer of the save and share; and the rest he can have for his spend drawer (mostly it's gift cards anymore though). He will occasionally get a small amount in the mail with a letter from an aunt, grandparent, whatever and we let him have that in his spend as well.

He is still learning how to "save-up" for expensive things and really with a $1 a week, it's pretty hard. We are really good at negotiating extra chores to make up for the difference, etc., overall, it works well.

Keep in mind that this will not cure the "I want," "I want," but it helps teach them accountability, responsibility and money saving. And when they have to purchase it for themselves, they think twice. This is the time to teach want from need - which is hard for adults!!!

As for keeping her from advertising, I don't know the answer to that because we only have reg. tv and he never sees anything on there as we rarely watch tv, but he sees the stuff from daycare, kids at school, etc.

Since we have had Noah, we have never just let him get what he wants, asks for, etc. When he would go with us grocery shopping (usually at Wal-Mart) and if he were good and didn't ask for things, we always rewarded him with a matchbox car, nothing else. And to this day, it still works well.

We have been doing it since Noah was 4 and he is really good with it. Good luck, I hope all goes well.

Everyone is different on this on Sara ~ enjoy it, whatever you choose.

Sara, My 4 & 6 year old have been doing regular "chores" since last September. Some are daily and some are weekly. We don't do a money allowance yet - I just don't want to place too much emphasis on that. When ever one of ours starts begging for a new toy and it's nowhere near a birthday, we devise a plan for extra chores to "earn" the toy.
Recently my 4 year old really wanted a Polly Pocket. We bought it and put it on a shelf. Then we agreed she could have it after doing all the table setting at lunch & dinner for one week (that isn't one of her regular jobs). She did a great job and was really proud of herself for earning the toy. Good luck!