Advice on a Three Year Old Who Is Acting Out

There are a couple of things you can do - sorry if this gets kinda long.
First, when he isn't doing what you asked, completely ignore him and make him do it. Like if you say get your shirt and he says no. You walk him over to the shirt and put it in his hand and walk him back to where he was, make him had it to you like he had actually done it. But say nothing until he hands it to you and then say "thanks sweetie for being so helpful". This will teach him that he doesn't get to make those decisions. And just guide him through the actions.
Or, You can always turn the tables, so if he is trying to get attention ignore him. When he asks for something like food or milk, then give it to him but don't talk to him or create positive conversation.
Or and this is what my friend did after the first two didn't work, and her daughter was hitting her teacher at school, they said ok, when you get home you will get a spanking if you hit your teacher or anyone else. Then if she did it, they didn't mad about it, and she tested them the first two days, after that, she figured out that if her parents said they were going to do something they did. This last one I do believe is definately that last thing to do after everything else has been exhausted. Good Luck!

Hi E., I am a Mommy to a 4 year old boy and we went through the very same thing except there wasn't a new baby involved. He was a wonderful 2 year old and then at a little over 3, he began to do all the things you are describing. Yes, it is normal(perfectly) and we decided to contact the "love and logic" institute for help. Nothing was working, not time out, not taking toys away, warnings.....nothing. I too was at my wits end because we seemed to be in a power struggle every minute...not fun!What we found out is that all children have a normal need for some control in their little lives! Your son is no exception. Especially having a new sibling to compete with. The love and logic cds and books(very easy reads)(cd version for my hubby during his commute)really addresses these things and gives you wonderful tools to use on your child's level that helps you give them control over things that don't matter or hurt anyone else(i.e.WOuld you like to wear your red fire-engine shirt today or your green turtle shirt?). It also goes into depth on dealing with appropriate punishment for their actions but it's all done very calmly and with empathy instead of reacting with anger. It will make so much sense to you once you have read through it. You and your husband have to be on the same page with this and he has to use the same tools or it will not work. We saw a transformation in as little as a week and it has continued to work!! Every child is so individual and ultimately you have to decide what works with your children. We have loved this and know that many of the teachers and school systems in our area actually use this in the classroom and at home! I wish you lots of sleep and no more power struggles! Blessings, J.

I CAN TOTALLY UNDERSTAND! I wrote a request similar to yours but haven't recieved any responses. I have a 5 year old son, and now we have a 2 month old daughter. He has been terrible lately. He helps with the baby and everything, but when you tell him to do something he either ignores or does it again later. I know what your dealing with....I have heard it is about attention, but I show mine ample amount of attention. I wish I could be of more help. I have been watching supernanny on Mon. nites and getting cool tips. We are using a point system now. What I have done is gotten some posterboard, and wrote as big as I can the things we need to work on(e.g I did what I was told, I used kind words etc.) Then every time he does something good I put a cool spongebob sticker next to it, he really likes it. He cannot read yet so every day i read to him what each line says...and now he knows. Anyway I hope you can through the acting out!

Good Luck!

I had the same issue when my youngest was born, so I feel your pain! I've made up a phrase: "Twos were a breeze; then there were Threes!"

We had to ride some of it out, but we started a reward chart that really helped. I was looking for something quick, so just made a grid (3 rows, 5 columns, but you could always use less for starters) on a piece of paper & put it on the refrigerator. We have some magnetic letters, and when she does something good, we let her pick out a letter and put it up there. When she completes the reward chart, we give her a special treat (ice cream sundae, special breakfast out with dad, etc.) We've been using this for a while now, and it works really well! Good luck!

I have two boys 4 and 7 and a baby girl 7 1/2 months. You are entering a very difficult stage. Everyone that says "terrible twos" lied! In fact, from my experience, it doesn't even start until 3 or almost 3. It is very hard and very nerve racking, but it is normal. Some of it is probably jealousy of the new baby, but a lot of it is the age. Also the fact that now you have even less time to deal with his acting out. I wish you luck!

How well does he communicate? I have a 3 year old, too, and it's hard. They are between wanting to still be a baby and wanting to grow up. Mix in a new sibling...KABOOM!!! You've got an explosive mix. I would start with hugs first, and say, "I know you're angry, but I still love you." Try to find out what is making him angry...he may be taking it out on other things or people. If all that doesn't work, it seems like you're doing the right things...time out, taking possessions away.

Does he have "chores" at home? Not really hard labor, but stuff like picking up his toys? Maybe he needs to feel useful, needed, and responsible all at the same time.

Good luck!!