Advice on a Hitting 16 Month Old

Tell him "no hit" in a firm voice, put him down and leave the room. He may not respond to a "time out" but may respond to you removing yourself from the situation and from his view.

At this age, they don't have the words to express how they're feeling. Once the episode is over, try talking to him about how he's feeling. "You are mad that you can't do this, but we don't hit." Give him a hug and let it go. By putting words to his feelings, he'll start to understand.

Know that this is a phase and it too shall pass.

You have to be quick, firm and consistent with this...By leaving you are NOT giving him the satisfaction of an audience or your time. Is he very verbal? If he is, when you return, you can "ask him if he is ready to use his words..." Sometimes, if a time-out doesn't work, "putting their special blankie or teddy in a time out" can work. He may cry and scream and then you can show him how to be nice to it. (i.e. creative punishment!...They all have some kind of "achilles heel" that they respond to eventually!) He's still pretty young and this will pass but .... I notice you have an almost three year old who is probably watching your every move! So... you have to make sure he SEES you addressing his brother's behavior consistently. Good luck.

He knows it gets attention, so take that satisfaction away from him. If he hits you, correct him and walk away from him. If he hits the neighbor child, scoop him up and take him inside immediately. It won't take long for him to realize that hitting just gives him less attention from everyone around. Don't make a huge deal out of it, that will only prompt more. He is not hitting to hurt, he just likes the reaction.

I have a 2 1/2 year old who also loves to hit. Whenever he does we put him in a time out and then have him apologize. You're right though, it doesn't usually work. I consider it my back up method. What I find works a lot better is positive reinforcement. "I like how you're sharing that toy!" "You're doing a great job, big brother!" and stuff like that. I'm not sure how well you're son is talking yet, but I'm also working on getting mine to express his feelings. I ask him if he's angry and a lot of times he says, "I'm mad!" and then looks at me to see that I got it and goes on with his day. Of course, if yours isn't talking well yet, it could be that he's getting frustrated that he can't communicate what he wants. Good luck!

I agree with the other mamas who say remove him from the situation. Say NO HIT and swoosh! Off he goes! No more playing with whoever he was playing with because he was not nice. Have to be nice to play with friends. If you ask my guys (10 & 6) what I always used to say they will drone, "We hug, not hit" =)

First I would like to say I was a nanny for 15 years. parenting other kids is a lot easier than my own. I have a strong willed 19 month girl. I have always thought time outs work. But with my daughter the regular timeout in a chair doesn't work.
When it comes to hitting we decided to hold her in our lap for a few minutes and tell her that it wasn't nice to hit. She doesn't like to be restrained, so it is helping. I have never had to do it before. We also put her in her bed for time outs. That seems to work also because she hates to be removed from being around people. We do give swats(one at a time) but for hitting we don't use that for the punishment. She gets a swat if she is flipping over while I am changing a dirty diaper and won't stop. Now i just have to say the warning and she stops. It is difficult to parent. I have found it is different with each child.
good luck!!
S.

I probably don't even need to respond since most of the other responses seem to be saying what I would - mainly be consistent, and don't get too emotional or give him too much attention for it. I combine the 'leave the room' and the 'time out' approaches - when my son does something like that (he's just about the same age as yours), I say no hitting in a very serious voice and put him in the playpen and leave the room for a few minutes. I also make sure that there are no toys in the playpen, and that the TV is off, so that he doesn't have anything to entertain himself, so he gets a bit upset. Then if he does it again, I put him right back in the playpen. It takes a few rounds of this sometimes, because they're still learning cause and effect at this age. But this method works really well for me, and it has taught my son to stay off the stairs. Every time he would start up the stairs after I said no, I put him right in the playpen and he threw a fit. After a few rounds of this, he would walk over to the stairs, point, and say 'no-no.' Another thing that I've done that some moms might think is cheating, is that I pretend to cry if he hits me or throws something at me. I guess he's at the age where empathy kicks in, because if I'm 'crying,' he stops what he's doing and comes to see my boo-boo. He also looks sad when I do this, so I think he's upset that I'm 'hurt' and usually stops the behavior. Last night he threw a car at me and it sliced open my hand. Not sure how that happened since it's a kids' toy... but I pretended to cry, and then Daddy kissed my boo-boo, so my son came and kissed it too, and he put the car away and didn't throw it anymore.

Sorry for such a long post. :-) Best of luck with this, and just remember to be consistent and patient. He'll learn.

Try showing him "nice touch". This is how we touch. That's what we do. It's a phse... but you know that I'm sure.

I think they enjoy the attention that they get-- you know?