Advice On

My jazmin was 15 months old when her sister makayla was born. I think the best thing that you can do is let the big sissy help just as much as she can, help with the diaper changes when you have the baby all wiped up let her run one more wipe across and fasten the diaper. help lay baby down for naps, just anything she can do. That gets her involved and makes her feel special. On the other hand when my last son was born Drayden Makayla age 3 got very jelouse so I just had to make mommy time with her and take her to mcdonalds and stuff just her and me, and that seemed to really help and i had her helping as much as she could as well. It was a tough 4 weeks or so but she got used to the idea of being a big sissy and now she loves it.

Perhaps you could get her her own baby...and then play that it is real and teach her how to care for her baby. Explain how she had the same attention that your baby will need when it is home. have your big girl be a helper for caring for baby and have her care for her baby while you care for your baby. Show her now what you will be doing with the new baby, ie feeding, bathing changing, ect. Show her how to hold the new baby, too.

Definately keep her involved always. Sometimes it will be difficult, but it will be better than jealousy.

OOH I just thought of something I did with each of mine. I told them the new baby was their baby, too. And with all the new things a new baby receives, I explained to the older one (s) that they have all the clothes/toys, ect they needed and the new baby didn't have much and that they needed things. That made the gifts from people easier for them to understand and why they weren't getting gifts. You could also tell them that the gifts are the baby's birthday gifts.

I hope that helps somewhat!

A.

My son was 25 months when my second son was born, so he was a little older than your daughter. I would just suggest that you make sure you set out a time every day to just play exclusively with your daughter(same with Daddy). Stick to as much of her usual routine as you can. My older son actually adjusted much better than I thought he would. Be prepared for the older one to act out a lot more for attention. Hopefully she will adjust quickly. Other than that good luck and have fun, it's tough with 2 that little !! :]

When I had my daughter last year I made sure any changes I made did not seem like the older kids were being kicked out to make room for baby. The one thing that was really fun though was my hubby took the boys to buy a gift for the baby and I bought gifts for the baby to give to the boys so that they also felt like part of things since everybody was bringing gifts for my daughter.

Well A. let me tell you that your 22 month old will not know about the change until she see the change. yes maybe you are telling her but with little kids they need to see something to actually know that its true. Dont worry once she see's the new addition she will know that she is a big sister. That was what happen to me my Son didnt know he was going to be a big brother until he saw his little sister now he know that when he is getting something he will get two one for him and one for his sister. Everything will turn out fine just let your doughter be with the new baby and youll see how she will know and love the new baby.

My children are 22-months apart. One of the first things we did for our son when our daughter was born was buy him a gift from the baby. We also let him "help" as much as he wanted to which was not a lot of actual help, but made him feel he was a part of the process. He'd help bathe her, help change her, bring me burp clothes or the boppy pillow, towels, wash cloths, etc.

He was very excited at first to have a baby then after the novelty wore off after a few weeks, he kept bringing the car seat to us and telling us to take the baby home. I think the hardest part of all was when he refused to have anything to do with me for about three days after we brought the baby home. I was terribly upset, but my husband assured me he'd come back around and he did. It was difficult when I'd be nursing and he'd want something and I'd have to tell him to wait until the baby was done eating, and he'd have a fit, but it's all part of teaching patience.

We also did not move him out of his bed (still in a crib) until the baby was about 2-months old. Even then, we waited until he was used to his bed before we set it up in the baby's room. We didn't want him to think we were taking it away to give to her. I think it's wise to not make too many changes at once.

Once he accepted the fact that the baby was staying, he became really helpful, letting me know if she was crying or even sneaking into her room to turn on her mobile (she couldn't see him but she'd always see me try to sneak in) and he could always make her laugh like no one else could. Now that they are older, (almost 4 and 2) they play together really well and my son can even decipher what she's saying when I can't. While it was trying sometimes, I'm so glad they are so close in age now.

Good luck and congrats on the growing family.

Hi A.,

First I would like to say 3/28 is a wonderful birthdate (it's mine :oP )

My youngest two are 21 months apart (Big sis, Haley and Little brother, Dillon) and I would have to say that Katie could of written my response. Right down to the "when is he going home?" after the novelty of a new baby wore. I ditto the recommendation of having the baby get your oldest a gift but also let her pick out a gift for the baby preferably something that the baby might use often i.e rattle.

Using a "big girl" milestone (birthday, potty trained etc.) might help in the transistion to a bed as she will feel it as an accomplishment not getting edge out for the new baby.

While there will be days when you think "what was I thinking?", you will have many more looking at your beautiful children thankful that they ARE so close and have each other to count on.

Good luck with your growing family.

T.

Dear A.,
I know exactly what your going through. I went through it twice! My first daughter was only 19 months old when her baby brother was born. And then again, with my son when his baby sister born just after his 2nd birthday. And your right about the jealousy. Your daughter is used to being the baby, now she will not be the baby- she'll be the big girl. You'll need to make her feel just as loved, needed, and wanted as the new baby. It's not easy, but anything worth having takes hard work. There might be a problem with your daughter reverting back to some baby habits(e.g.- she wants a bottle, doesn't want to go potty, climbs into the baby's crib to sleep, talks like a baby, wants to lay down in your lap, etc.). It takes time and patience, tell her at every opportunity that you love her very much. You'll get through it.

With Compassion,
Mrs. M. R. A.

Hello A.!

I have a 3 year old son, and a 11 month old daughter. My son was 2 years old when I going to have my daughter. The way I transitioned him in accepting our new arrival was by telling him early on in my pregnancy that he was going to be a big brother. I used pictures in books to explain what a big brother was, I also showed him other kids that we passed in stores or saw on television.

To make my son feel special and happy about our new arrival, I ensured him that he is going to be my big helper, and I made it know to everyone; family, friends, co-workers when my son was around me and those individual's started talkiing about baby. When ever baby was mentioned and my son was around, I make sure that my son had some kind of involment in the whole baby talk. (to be totally honest, I think he got a little annoyed by me mentioning him so much)I always made it appear to be about my son.

Even when my daughter was born, (because newborns don't become aware of how much attention they are actually gettiing, plus they sleep ALOT, I put all my attention towards my son, and when my daughter did wake up, my son was there to help hand me diaper ect.

So make it about your daughter, and bring your daugter into everything you do with your newborn. Tell her how she is going to be your big helper, and when people mention baby, include your daugther and let her hear you say the great things your daugther and what she is going to do to help with baby. Then when baby does come let be there to help you change her and show her how the newborn is her younger sister and how she needs to protect her and her safe. Then when the time comes when your newborn gets older your attention towards both of them well ease so naturally and equally for both of them, not even they will realize it. I really hope this helps. Good luck with your labor, and your current situation.

K.