Advice Needed: Trying to Get My 14 Month Old to Fall Asleep on Her Own Again

Yes sounds like separation anxiety all right! My son went through this before as well but we just put him in his crib after the bedtime routine told him we loved him and we'd see him in the am. Then we'd walk out of the room and stayed out and let him cry it out. A few times I would have to go back in to let him know we were still there and finally after about 2-3 nights he got over it and fell asleep again no problem. However several months later it happened again so be prepared! But just do what you did before and let her cry it out. I have a wonderful and very helpful book called Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby by Marc Weisbluth, MD best book I ever received as a gift!It will all work out just be patient and buy the book!
Good luck! Also I agree with what someone else said it could be an ear infection (not likely though) or teething! My son had a horrible time teething especially at bedtime. Try Hyland's homeopathic teething tablets. You can get them at CVS, Walgreen's, Riteaid, ect! They work wonderfully and calm them right down with no side effects or worries about liver damage like Tylenol or Ibuprofen can cause.

I had a similar problem with my son it was after the time change when it started staying lighter out later i had to change his bed time from 7 to 730 and it made a big diffrence once it was later he went right to sleep

Have you had her checked for an ear infection? The pain is greater when they lie down. Teething can also cause a bit of ear pain especially when it's molars and that might be causing her to not want to lie down. Just a thought....

My 2 year old does this at various stages. I try not to go in and am sometimes surprised when she lays back down and goes to sleep after 5-10 min if you can wait. If she is still going, I go in and lay her down, fix her blankets and snuggle her bear with her & leave without talking and she will go back down. Some nights I've had to do that a few times, but eventually she will go to sleep. I always worried she'd become dependent on our intervention like this, but she may just need a little comfort. Good luck!

Could be teething, we go through this every time my daughter cuts a new tooth!

The same thing happened with our 14 month old. I read they do go through separation anxiety between the ages of 12-18 months. We've actually been letting our daughter sleep in our bed because she freaks out so much left alone in her crib. I don't know how you feel about that. One book I read recommended sleeping in the same room with your child at least until they fall asleep. I'll be interested to hear what other people have to say too. Best of luck... I'm right there with you :)

Unfortunately this is separation anxiety. The good news is that it will only last for a couple years. The bad news is that it will get worse. My advise to you would be lay her down after her bed time routine and tell her that it is bed time, time to go to sleep, tell her that you love her and you will see her in the morning. She will cry! Let her cry for 20 min. if she hasn't stopped then go in to hold her. As with any new diapline method this may take awhile to see results try it for at least two weeks. If you see no marked change after that two week period then you need to try something different. Its goig to be har etting her cry but you can do it! Let me know if this works or I have other suggestions! I've seen it all with two girls!

Have you read "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley? She has gentle methods that don't involve CIO for getting kids to sleep. If I left my DD (19 mos) to cry for 20 minutes she would be positively insane with stress, as would I. Crying herself to the point of exhaustion is not a sleep association I want for my DD and although she may learn you are not coming so asking for help is futile(and thus stop crying), I think it makes the crib/bed an even less pleasant place to be for the longterm.

There is so much going on in their little heads and bodies, it makes sense that they would go through changes like this and implementing "discipline" to control it doesn't really address the issue. She could be cutting teeth, hitting a developmental milestone, or just normal separation anxiety. I've read that they often show more sep anxiety when they get more mobile. They can get away from you so they need the security to know you are there. Totally normal development.

What has worked with my particular DD is me not stressing about things and trying to force what she's not ready for. She did what your DD did for ages and then one day it stopped being an issue and had nothing to do with what I'm doing.

Another thing is that DD's "schedule" has adjusted a number of times. All of a sudden she was tired earlier and we were waiting too long to put her to bed when she was overtired. Could this be going on? Good luck.

Ugh! I just posted nearly the same thing, but for my 6 month old! Hopefully someone has advice for us both. Good luck!!!

I have had the same issue. My son had an ear infection. It hurts them to lay down. Sometimes he doesn't get a fever when he has one but the doctor was able to tell by looking in his ear. Good luck!

Hi K.,

THE SAME THING JUST HAPPEND TO ME! My daughter is 14 months and she went through this around 12 months. We were devastated because she used to go down like butter when it came to sleeping! I tried sleeping in her room, having her sleep on me in a chair and with us in our bed and then try to transfer her to the crib, but everytime we tried, she woke up and it started the crying and screaming all over again.

I was told it was teething, ear infection, nightmares, etc...but it just boiled down to NO ONE KNEW what it really was. I took her to the doctor three times in one week to have her ears and teeth checked out and the doc suggested that her clean bill of health meant that we should try the cry it out method. Now, I have been totally against crying it out from the onset, but after three nights of ZERO sleep and three days of endless exhaustion on everyone's part, my husband and I knew we had no other choice.

The next day, I decided that I was going to try it out (although, it would have been more comfortable having someone shove a knife into me rather than listen to my daughter cry and not respond her ). She cried for 1 hour and twenty two minutes and then slept for two hours during the day. That same night, we did it again, she cried for twenty-seven minutes and then slept the whole night. Day 2, she cried for 10 minutes and then had a great nap. Night 2 she cried for 5 minutes and slept the whole night. And by Day 3, she was back to her old self and not another incident since then.

Hang in there. I know your anxiety and exhaustion, but you will get through it. These difficult moments now, just prepare us to be better parents as the road gets tougher!

K.,
I feel your pain. My son is 13 months and has started this again. He screams uncontrolabley if you heard him you would think some one was up there hurting him. I think with my son its seperation anxiety. He was getting better and over the last two weeks he started again. He screams if I just leave the room or try to put him down when we go visit someone or go to the doctor.