Advice Needed: 28 Month Old Resisting Bedtime Routine Since Birth of Sibling

My son was 2 years, 5 months when his little brother was born. He did the same thing and it was particularly tough because his dad left while I was still pregnant, so I had to deal with it on my own.

Here was what I did. I started "bedtime" a good 40 minutes before he needed to be asleep. We read a story together as a family and he "helped" me get his little brother ready for bed. Then, I helped him into his pj's. I told him that because he was the big brother, he was allowed to stay up later than a baby. He would lie on my bed and watch a dvd while I put the baby to bed (this is where the few extra minutes helped). Then, I'd go into my room to get him and bring him to his bed. I'd rub his back for exactly 5 minutes (he was often asleep by then). If he was still awake he got a kiss and I assured him that I would check on him again before I went to bed..after I cleaned up. (So, if he heard me moving around he didn't feel like he was missing anything.)

They each got their own one-on-one time with Mommy and we all got to bed at a reasonable time. He is now 6 and we have a very similar routine now too.

I hope this helps!

C.

I think it is best not to give in. Her life should go on as if there isn't a new baby. She will continue to push the boundaries until she gets the clear message that bed time is bed time. Set up a routine with a little special pre-bed time with her and put her to bed. She may get worse before she accepts her routine so stick with it. It will work if you don't give in some times and not others; don't give in at all. It will work! Good luck!!

Hi M.,
I am sure that things are more stressful for you these days (my kids are the same space apart and I was in your shoes this time last year). My daughter was the same way when her baby brother came. With my daughter I gave her some extra time at night (perhaps start bedtime rituals earlier so she gets to bed closer to normal time). Then I used incentives for my daughter such as she would get to pick a sticker in the morning if she went right to bed (you could use whatever motivates your daughter). I know it is a fine line between giving extra attention and starting bad habits but this is a tough time for your daugther due to all the changes and shift of focus. Any way that you can incorporate positive attention through rewards etc. will hopefully help your daughter receive positive attention so as not to need to act up to get negative attention. Good luck and hang in there, everything will settle down soon.

My daughter has always hated sleeping and will resist as much as I let her. I have found that regardless of why they are resisting, the only way to fix the problem is be consistant and teach them that bedtime means bedtime. If she is having a hard time adjusting to the new baby I would work on that issue during the day. As moms we can "merge issues" together in our mind due to "mama guilt" I think;)

Hi M.,
My son (25 months0 has just started this too, but we have no added child, just being a 25 month old- trying to push the limits. Stay strong. As long as you are giving her love the rest of the day & giving her some one on one- bed time you can stay tough. good luck.

We always had story time right before bed. We still do, and my youngest is 7. You can start the story time 30 minutes before the target bed time. This is special time with just you or your husband, away from the baby. If her bed is big enough, lay down next to her (she's under the covers so that when she falls asleep you don't have to move her). That way both of you can see the book while you read it. Sometimes my sons liked me to tell them a story instead of read one. I'd tell little stories of weekends spent at my grandparents' house, for instance. The point is, she's in bed when you want her to be, and she still gets what she wants which is more time/attention with you. I think she'll look forward to story time and won't really care what time it is. Of course this is harder in the summer when the days are longer, but stick with it. Good luck!