Hello Mamas,
My husband and I are currently trying to get pregnant with our second child. Time is running out for a variety of reasons but I've been thinking more about if we do conceive, I will be 60 when the child is 16yo. Anyone out there willing to share their experiences of parenting teens so late in life? Would you do it again if you had the choice? Is it just too much?
Thanks in advance for your time!!
Just wanted to thank everyone for their input. I appreciate everyone who took time to respond. I definitely wonder about the potiential for health issues and possibly untimely death and it's affect on a child but as several of you said we cannot predict our futures. Still not pregnant yet, but going to try for at least one more month. thanks!
No one is prepared to have a teenager at any age-they make formidible opponents-may as well go for it! Besides, by then, 60 will be the new 40! You'll probably have a lot more patience, as well. All the best!
I'm 54. My husband is 67. Our youngest is 18. We'd both do it again in a heartbeat. I find we're much more patient & accepting of our youngest than we were of our oldest at the same age (she's now 31). We know what matters and what doesn't. We know what and when to push and how to celebrate.
No, it's not too much. Not too much at all. It's just plain wonderful.
Hi J.-
I am 52...and a single mom of an 'elegant sufficiency' of kiddos...
The youngest are 15 yo twins (one with special needs).
I BLESS the day I was 'older' as their parent...
Hell...I am glad I was 'traditionally' 'older' for ALL of them...
I found I had more patience ...I was more 'realistic'...and I have enjoyed the HELL out of all of them.
I worry more about the 'here and now'...many are in college...
BUT...between their scholarships (third son just got a 3 year ROTC one)...and THEIR hard work...all has worked out....
I have loved the moments as we went...even when I had 5 or six teens at once.....lol
**Having more merlot***
best
michele/cat
It (whatever ***IT**** is for 'you') generally does...
I'm not an older parent, but I'm the daughter of older parents. My dad was 47 when I was born and my mom was 40. I also had a friend who had older parents. I can say you decide if it's too much. My parents were very active in my life, we did a lot of family activities, they were at all my sporting events, and were constantly there, even when I didn't want them, as most teenagers don't want their parents around. My friend's parents on the other hand, were just so tired they weren't involved at all. My parents always say that having kids when they were older kept them young and they don't regret it at all.
I am a grandmother raising grandchildren along with hundreds of thousands of others in the same situation. It is not easy, we have the maturity to look at the big picture and can let go of a lot of the small stuff some parents tend to focus on. They get all caught up and the details when the whole event is what they should look at.
I find myself doing a much better job with my grand kids than I ever did with my daughter.
My friend in Branson has an 11 year old girl and a 13 year old son. She is doing a wonderful job with them. Her older kids are parents now, this is her second family.
I think she is a prime example of what I am talking about. She tends to see the whole thing, look at what the roots are instead of the mood swings, the outbursts, all that stuff. She understands what they are going through and that it's not really a personal attack on her.
i had my first and one and only at the age of 38. this year he will be turning 10.he was born with some problems that he out grew but being older i was ready to take a stand for him nad was able to stay at home with him. my husband has been at the same job for 35 years. i think being an older parent is great. i think i'm more open and willing to talk about everything with my son. he and i are very close and i pray every day that we will stay that way. i also think being an older parent you know what you want in life and you can help your child get there too!!!
I'm trying to get pregnant, and I will be 56 when the child is 16.
This doesn't bother me. Do you know what does? The thought of how old my own mother will be! She had me at 34, so she was no spring chicken either! My grandmother wasn't young when I was a teen either, however. In fact, she died at 89 when I was 17. A few years prior that she was crawling around on the floor with my second cousins. Kids keep you young!
Also, the older you are, hopefully the wiser!
we have quite a few older parents in our circle. I'm 50 later this year, & my younger son will be 16. My best friend had her daughter at age 34.... so she was the same age I am - at this point in my life. :)
my Uncle is 63 & his daughter is 18. His wife is my age.....50 this year. Oh, & their youngest is 15 - same as my son.
Through the years, I have found that the older parents are increasing in #s. Not many when my older son was a child! Now we are still a minority, but not as much.
& speaking for myself & all the older parents in our circle.....we have actively participated in all aspects of our childrens lives. :)
I will be 57 when my daughter is 16. That has never concerned me. I'm a much better, more patient mother now than when I raised my two stepkids in my 20s/30s. They are now 29 & 27 and I have three grandchildren.
Teenagers are both a challenge and a joy - but that's true of kids at any age. Teens don't have to be as "scary" as everyone makes them out to be.
Both of my grandmothers were 40 when my parents were born. My mom has her 4 kids by the time she was 23. My grandmother lived to see her great grandchildren. My mother was killed by a drunk driver at 58. We can't know how our lives are going to go.
I wasn't quite 60 when our last one graduated but I was 56 years old. I babysat a grandson for 4 years when I was 58 on and it was such a joy having him all day and enjoying an infant again. Now I'm babysitting twin grandsons who are age 3 and enjoy that so much at age 65 so I think it does keep me feeling younger and is such a joy having them. I don't think it would be hard at all if you are able physically to get out and go and do and be part of the child's life. On the other hand I would NOT want to be still parenting a 16 year old myself.
I'm 55, a single mom with sons ages 15 and 17. I don't think being older necessarily makes someone a better parent. But it does give you more time to work through your own stuff and in my case, yes, I'm a better parent to my boys than I was for my girls who are now in their 20's.
My dad was 38 and 41 when my 2 younger brothers were born. When they were in their teens and he in his mid-fifties, he was their scout leader and led their troop on 10 day backpacking trips through the mountains. He said having teens late in life kept him young.
So, yes, I'd do it again if I had the choice. I wouldn't miss my 2 guys for the world. They are great young men, we get along and have fun times together and I'm going to miss them when they go off to college in a couple years. And I still feel young!
My dad died from cancer when he was 49, and both my parents had health issues when they were young. My mom isn't even 60 now and I'm 31, and I already have to take care of her quite of bit and it can be trying. It would have been very difficult if it had come to that when I was a young teen. Just a different perspective. I have no judgment on older parents, most of them are wonderful, but I come with a different set of experiences. I also think any future grandchildren will likely miss out on a good relationship with their grandparents. For me, it's just a concern about health issues that are more likely at an older age.
