Advice from Military Moms and Other Questions . . . SWH Added
Updated on
March 05, 2016
P.1.
asks from
Albany, CA
8
answers
So, today is the day my son decides if he is going to enter the military. I don't know all the "ins and outs" of this process, but it sounds like after he gives his yes, his last step is being sworn in and he is basically done with the signing up process. We are still waiting on his medical records to be approved, which should happen next Wednesday, but we were told since nothing has shown up on anything else and he has no medical issues past or present, there should be no more barriers (obviously he cannot be sworn in until then, though). He has passed the background/fingerprints part, they have called references, neighbors, his school, he passed the ASFAB.
We asked him last night if he had decided what he was going to say today - his answer was "probably yes." Now we know that he could still change his mind, and he could also change his mind before being sworn in (but not after that, correct?), but I also want to be prepared if his answer is actually yes :)
When your child "decided" did you throw a party or did you wait until they were sworn in, or not at all? We are trying to be super supportive of his decision and he is a kid that needs a lot of "good job!" from us (he was adopted and this is a sensitive area but from us only) so rewarding him for moving forward with life decisions (which is really difficult for him) is important to do. However, we don't want to go overboard either.
Also, any other advice, things I should know, etc., should he say yes? I have been heavily involved in his paperwork at home, but my husband/his dad has been doing all the meetings with our son and the recruiter. Oh, the branch is ARMY and he is considering for the job he picks social service/worker, specifically with special needs/veterans.
Please think of us a bit today if you have a chance . . . our son has been through more than kids should ever have to endure, struggled with choices his whole life, really struggled lately . . . Thanks!!
Great advice from all! He said YES!! Super exciting for everyone as this is the first real "life choice" he has ever made :) We did take him (and only him) for dinner last night and plan to have an immediate family only dinner out on his swear-in date. We will probably incorporate something about his enlistment process/leaving for boot camp on his grad announcements, but will hold off on the biggest party the town has ever seen for after basic and he has been truly accepted.
Thanks again!!!!
More Answers
S.W.
answers from
Amarillo
on
ETA: Congrats on your sons decision. Welcome to the military family.
Original: Keep your thoughts positive and go from there. When he decides you can have a dinner or something with the immediate family and a few friends.
This is a rite of passage from a child to an adult. He will be thinking of things for him to do and how to do them once he has completed his basic training. As for sending him off with huge amounts of stuff, don't he will need the very minimal basics as all items needed will be issued to him from the government. You could put in a pouch some writing paper and stamps so he can send a note or two to you.
Prepare yourself from him leaving and know that he will be alright. You as mom have a time or day the he will go and you have or are preparing for him to leave home on that day. It will be a bit difficult because he will not return that night but he will be okay. I went through this with my son and he, too, went into the Army after being an Air Force brat. It was the best thing for him.
Hang in there momma,
the other S.
Retired Military Wife
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E.B.
answers from
Honolulu
on
I don't have much advice, since my dh joined the Navy before we started dating, but I recall that he said his family didn't do much celebrating until he actually finished the basic training/officer training program and then they held a family party.
But I just wanted to say that you'll be in my thoughts today as your son makes this important decision. Congratulations to him, and I wish you peace of mind today.
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K.M.
answers from
Fayetteville
on
Thank you for being supportive of his choice to serve his country. Less than 1% of Americans serve, so he's really in the minority! I would ask him if he wants a party or send-off. I think it's a good idea. You could also do something when he graduates Basic or AIT.
My husband has been on active duty (Army) 18 years and we're gearing up for our 8th move this summer. It's hard to believe that he *could* retire in 2 years. It's not for everyone, but it's been great for our family.
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C.B.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Lots of positive thoughts and hope coming your way that your son makes the best decision for himself.
As for a party, IF he says yes, I would take the family out for a celebratory dinner tonight and then before he leaves have a luncheon type party with extended family and close friends.
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R.B.
answers from
San Francisco
on
I didn't throw my kid a party when he joined the military, but he wouldn't have liked that. But if your kid would like a party, then throw him a party. Why not? Sure, go overboard. It IS kind of a big deal.
Congratulations!
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S.T.
answers from
Washington DC
on
i don't know any practical things to help, just want to put out there how much i admire you for hanging with and supporting your troubled, difficult boy. i'm sure this is a huge roller coaster for you.
i'd ask him if he'd like a big ol' hootenanny celebration. probably he will. i'd do it somewhere in between the swearing in and the leaving home.
and then i WOULD go overboard!
hugs to you.
khairete
S.
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V.B.
answers from
Jacksonville
on
I would keep parties/celebrations small, and private. Until he graduates from Boot Camp. We just left a recruiter's office this afternoon, and as I understood everything, it's not binding until he completes boot camp. Before that, he hasn't fully qualified.
If your son needs a lot of pats on the back and "good job"s from you and your husband, then do that. Take him out for a private dinner and let him know how proud of him you are. Of his willingness to serve. Of the man he has/is becoming.
Wait for anything more public until he graduates, AND he says he'd enjoy that.
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N.B.
answers from
Oklahoma City
on
Wait for the party until after he graduates basic training. My daughter joined the Army and during boot camp she excelled in many areas. Until they started training with loads on their back. She got stress fractures in her feet and shins. They booted her.
If we'd have had a huge blow out party or if we'd have done anything at all I think she would have been very humiliated to come home and look everyone that had been there in the face. Have a nice family dinner then when he graduates he'll be on his way and a party to celebrate his new life would be a great choice.
