What do those of you who are practicing Attachment Parenting (AP) do when your baby won't stop crying? My son is 4 months old and I'm at my wits end today. I hold him, he cries, I offer him my thumb to suck on, he cries. I rock him, he cries. I know that I'm 'supposed to' keep him with me as much as possible and hold him as much as possible, but even I need a break sometimes. I'm married but might as well be a single parent of three (even though I only gave birth to two). I'm ready to start screaming myself. So, what has worked for those of you in similar situations? I can't let him cry it out because he never stops. Thanks for the help.
God bless,
A.
Well, the crying has let up some. It's not a food allergy I don't think. I haven't changed my diet really. He was constipated a bit last week, but that is gone now. He has two teeth already and my husband mentioned that he thought he might be getting one of his back teeth already. I guess what my question should have been is this: What do you do when there is nothing wrong with your baby other than just wanting to be held all the time and you need a break?
He has started crying constantly when he is tired. He fights sleep unless he is at the breast. I use a wrap when we go out. I haven't used it much at home. He is now getting to the point where he doesn't really like it all that much. He tries to push himself out of it. I am trying to put him in it facing outward, but I must be getting it too tight or something because he vomits when he's in it. He has reflux, so that doesn't help issues either.
Thanks for all the suggestions and advice. I talk to my husband about it and he thinks he's helping. I just get tired of telling him the same thing over and over. It's like pulling teeth or something. So, looks like I'll just have to keep going the way I am or figure something else out. More money would definitely make things easier, lol. Then I could afford that massage. :)
Crying excessively is not normal. Maybe he is getting sick. You are right though that you need a break. Can you get help from your husband or a trusted friend? I am an AP mom too, and I know how a whiney clingy baby can wear on your nerves. You need a break. Go get yourself a massage, and then come back to it.
It sounds like there is a reason for him to be crying. Is he hurting somewhere? Have you taken him to the Dr.?
My second did this and he was allergic to dairy and in terrible stomach pain. He was much happier when I cut out the dairy in my diet (nursing) and we were all much happier : )
Does he have any rashes? That is another sign of an allergy.
Poor guy.
Hang in there, you will figure it out.
It sounds like you must be a wonderful mother - they sure can test our patience huh!
my babies were fussy too. usually it seemed to be some sort of gassy tummy problem-- colic. one magic trick we had was one of those giant exercise balls-- they loved sitting in our arms and bouncing up and down (really big bounces- not nice gentle soothing bouncing!)
another thing that worked liked a charm was to hold them upright, facing out, with my arm on their tummies... or should i say IN their tummy. i would put a lot of pressure on their little stomachs and it really helped relieve the pain.
one more thing that worked too (hard to describe, but i'll try) was to hold them lying down, face out, with thier necks in the crook of my elbow and my arm on their tummy and holding them between their legs. it also put some gentle pressure on thier tummies and calmed them down right away.
do you have a sling? that works too, and gives you arms to do stuff AND hold the baby at the same time.
also, as someone else mentioned, notice what you're eating before he gets fussy (it's about 4 hours from your mouth to their milk, i think) and WRITE IT DOWN. you may notice some patterns... we had issues with sausage, milk, onions... so pay attention to your diet too.
hang in there, it gets funner! i promise!
A.,
I saw your other response and agree that it could be an allergy to milk.
Also, could it be something you're eating?
I hope something works.... Try figuring it out in the foods first and milk allergy.
Sounds like something is causing him pain. Is it possible he's teething. That's one my little one's got there first tooth. Nothing consoles them much, except a little Tylenol. You didn't say whether this crying was a new development. If it's not than it could be a food allergy, like others have explained. Let your husband know how he can help you out. You should not feel like a single parent. Hope something helps you out, constant crying without a break can be so trying, but I bet I don't need to tell you that. Good luck and God Bless.
Hi A.. I just now saw your request. I've been doing AP on my own (hubbie not around much, by circumstance and choice - so I understand the feeling of being a married single parent). Our sons sound so much alike (temperment & reflux). My boy is now 8 months old and I've just had to figure out things that help calm him. Outside seems to be a wonderful distraction. I don't know if it would be possible but I try to take him on a walk in the stoller or baby carrier when he seems to be headed in a direction of extreme upset. Also, I noticed that around 4 months, he no longer wanted to be facing toward me in the carrier (sling/wrap). I purchased a Hug-A-Bub that I could wear where he was facing outward. He loved it! It didn't bother his reflux a bit. Also, for him, putting him in a bath where he could just splash in the water was an awesome distraction too. The last card up my sleeve is that I will sometimes put on a Baby Einsten video (Baby Mozart is great for your son's age) and watch it with him telling him all about what he was seeing. It's become a great go-to tool when we need another option.
I'm not sure if anything I've said is new or helpful. I mostly wanted to let you know that you aren't alone and it does get better with time. I have to remind myself that this won't last forever and he's growing up so fast.
Good luck and feel free to message me if you'd like.
S.
Hi A.!
I feel for you. I have 3 boys with a 4th on the way. My first was an easy baby. The second cried all the time and could never be consolled (sp?). Then we found 3 1/2 years later he has food allergies that he was getting through the breastmilk and then from solid foods. I was very careful during my pregnancy and while breastfeeding my 3rd and he was a very easy and happy baby. My theory is that all babies are easy and happy unless there is something wrong (such as allergies). I feel the term colic is just a word to pacify parents because now there is a "diagnosis". Similarly, Irritable Bowl Syndrome in older children and adults I feel is really just a word for unexplained diahrea. I think colic and IBS are usually food allergies or sensitivities. I would log what you eat and your babie's behaviors. If you need more help determining what is causing the crying, I would see a Naturopathic Dr. to help you. I know how hard it is to have a baby you cannot get to quit crying. It is devastating to you and exhausting and it definately affects your marriage. My husband and I had real problems during that time. Now things are great with us. Good luck!
