A.R.
Hi J.,
I wanted to respond and let you know that I am in a similar situation but literally on the other side of the fence. I have a daughter who is 9 and my brother has a daughter who is 8. They are as different as night and day. My parents will always say that they love both their grandchildren the same but my brother will tell you otherwise. He is adamant that our parents favor my daughter. That may be the case but in defense, I have to say that I am constantly around my parents. I visit them at least once a week. I call them all the time for no reason at all. And they do the same with me. I think it's all about communication. My brother is rarely around. Mostly at family functions. He doesn't bring his daughter around as much and while he says that it's ok for my parents to go visit, there is a lot of tension in his house with his wife. My parents don't feel as at liberty with my niece as they do with my daughter. My daughter is a very affectionate and open person with them and they respond to that. How does your son respond to them? If you'd like them to interact more with your son, make him readily available. Have him spend special days with his grandparents. Ask if they will take him to the movies or out for pizza because of your busy schedule. At month end when I know I will be working late, I arrange for one of my parents to pick her up. That way she gets to spend one on one time with her grandparents.
And I can understand their response to your step-son but it may be that they might feel they are overstepping their bounds with him if they get too close to him. Try to keep an open mind and see things from their point of view. You could have your parents take both children to the movies one day?
I hope things work out for you.
A.