Advice for Single Mom Living with Fiance

Hi K., I'm no expert but I went through something similar with my ex-husband. Most of his issues with me stemmed from his the abuses he suffered from his family when he was young.
It sounds like your fiancee is having trouble adjusting to people being in "his space". How long was he alone before you moved in? All too often when someone complains about the small stuff (such as things being out of place), it is because they feel threatened and enroached upon. If you really want to try to keep this relationship, I would recommend family counseling. If cost is an issue, there are places that will bill insurance or even work on a sliding fee scale.
Good luck! J.

anything worth fighting for is worth staying and changing u have to want this relationship for it to work. how you came in to the relationship is probably how it would be from here on out. but you can not let your children dictate your future because one day soon there gonna get out then what you may be by yourself. in this case it seems as if your only there because u cant for anything else that is totally the wrong reason never rely on a man if u do he may feel he has control over u, your kids and any thing that goes on because it its his house. if its to stressful leave your health and wellbeing is more important.

If you have only been dating him for about a year, then I would say get out as soon as you can. Another option is tell him that you aren't happy and you can see that he isn't either and you would like to see a couselor with him. His isurance may pay for it. If his insurance doesn't then you may be able to become a member of a church and often times the pastors are really good at couples counseling. You will need to go to couples counseling through a church if you are getting married at one, anyways, so it won't hurt to get it out of the way. If the man is not on drugs, then it sounds like he is not expressing himself correctly. Some people just change and you can't reach them anymore when it comes to solving the problem. No problem in a relationship is completely your fault, it is more 50/50. You have an example to set for your sons, especially when they are in their dating years.

You are in a relationship that has run its course. I recommend that you end the engagement and concentrate on maintaining healthy relationships with your boys.

You say your fiance is not abusive, but the behavior you've described is very much abusive. For whatever reason, he feels he lacks control over some aspect of his life, so he exerts and extreme amount of controlling behavior toward you and the boys. This kind of behavior can never be satisfied, and without counseling, he will never stop. In fact, the longer this behavior is tolerated by you and your children, the worse it will get.

If you really want to stay in this relationship, suggest counseling to him and attend with him. If he refuses counseling, attend anyway, but end the relationship and consider yourself lucky that you were never married.