Advice for a Large Family

I am going to put my two cents in since you put the question out there. Some people may want a big family, but some jsut can't do it. If you feel emotionally that you can't do it, than you probably shouldn't. It isn't fair to the future children and it isn't fair to the exsisting.
My mom came from a family of 18 she knows all of the kids but mainly because she would take us over ther because most of the kids are my age or younger, so it was like they were my cousins, and I know that my aunt felt as though she was the one raising the younger ones. She had to grow up fast and that just isn't fair. I know about being part of a family you have to give things up sometimes, but I just don't think one of them should be your teenhood.
Anyway I don't know how big a family you were thinking but if you already feel that you have too much on your plate, your older kids will probably feel obligated to take hold and help. And they shouldn't have to do that they are kids.

Ok I also have 4 children and I know how house cleaning can get frustrating! However I also am from a family with 18 children ( I am the oldest). I know that’s allot. I don’t look at 4 kids as a big family. My mother has the most convenient way of raising kids. My father is retired and helps out allot. My mother also has two house keepers considering the house is over 5,000 sqft you would need to (I have never needed to and my mother has only had house keepers for 8 years). The point of frustration comes in when you look at your house all day and go I am never going to get this clean instead of looking at your beautiful wonderful children and thinking its all worth it. Whatever you have to do its worth it. Look at the pos instead of the neg. Take a deep breath and one step at a time. Be creative! I have never not once had a issue with being raised in a large family. I love it!! I have walked away learning so much in life. And allot of patients. No not everyone can handle a large family. Doesn’t mean you cant! What matters is what’s in your heart! If you think you can do it don’t let anyone tell you, you cant and push forward and do what your heart tells you. Whether its that dirty dish in the sink at night or my child getting read to before bed. I choose my child. Even if it means for the first few years of their life I am up until dawn doing dishes. Its worth watching them grow up! Patients a smile, loud obnoxious music in the back ground, kids with wash cloth's and smiles!!! ITS ALL WORTH IT! I hope with a pos outlook you can see that cleaning that house can be fun! My kids have chores. But some are too small for that so they follow me around the house helping mommy. We talk and sing. I don’t follow a schedule. Kids are all different. I see it as impossible to follow a schedule when you have more than one child. And any appointment you are to make they follow their schedule not yours! I make sure everything in the house has a place. If it doesn’t its outta here! Cleaning is tiring a repetitive. Reward yourself as well as your children. I hope you get more help than Blah Blah out of this. If you need help or just talk ____@____.com don’t feel alone!
M.

Hi Lori. My name is F. i'm a 23 yr old mom of 4, so i really do undrestand your situation. I get mad sometimes when i can't control my kids, but when i was pregnant with my last baby it felt difficult cause i was prego, i thought the world was going to come down on me, but i managa to get through, i was a single mom to so it made it more difficult. But i think you are more emotional now cause of the pregnacy. I dnt have a schedule either its hard with the kids,plus mine are still small, but i usually wait after lunch till i can start cleaning and then through out the day i clean about 10 times, its probably my fault, but if i din't clean i think i would be pretty bored, cause i dnt do nothing all day. Think abuout it as excersice, it works for me. But once you have your baby i will be hard in the begginning it just gets easier after awhile just hang in there. I hope i was able to help if you need anyone to talk to i'm here to help.
Thanks,
F. G.

Try a housekeeper! We have one we truly love and she comes every other week and she's just fantastic. She saves my sanity! I can give you her number if you want. The kids should also have chores they can accomplish--sorting laundry, putting toys away, taking dirty dishes to the sink, feeding pets, what have you. Don't hesitate to involve your husband. He has to do his share as well. Make cleaning a game, sing a little song. It's always fun to do things away from the house--zoo/shopping/museums/parks when it warms up so the house doesn't get wrecked. Divide out the days and have a chore on each day you can get done without being overwhelmed--Monday laundry, Tuesday vacuuming, Wednesday dusting, etc., Try very hard to cut clutter--get rid of or put away toys in storage and rotate them. Recycle papers/mail soon as you get them. Good luck!

I have 3 kids, and my oldest will be 8 in July, and my middle one will be 4 in April, and my youngest will be 1 in May. Here is a suggesting (and it works for me most of the time). Have the older ones help you with they younger ones. My son has helped me so much with the baby, so much that he would actually over do it, and tried changing her diaper one day (lol). If you want to give them things to do around the house, start out with east stuff depending on their age. Definately have them clean their own rooms, have them help you pick up in the kitchen or living room as long as its not breakable stuff. You can even have them help you with the laundry or putting food away. Just see what they could do and what they would like to help with. Hope this helps you out.

Try to network with some close friends in the area, to take turns taking eachothers kids for a morning or an afternoon.
This will help with your sanity and on the days you don't have the kids you can do whatever you want.
This will also help you to see how others do it all and you can ask them for some tips on sertain things too.
You need to schedual out time for yourself to focus (5-10 min) is all it takes. Then you can think straight about the most important things. Good luck.