Advice for a Freind

I recently learned that spaghetti O's are apparently aerodynamic. The seem to have been designed specifically for flying. Advice- Never give a kid spaghetti o's within a 500 foot radius of carpeting or walls. Hope you can use this. What a cool idea you have! Shannon G.

The most common mistake for a new mom is to hold the baby all the time. Once in a while is great but all the time slows down baby's development and makes things harder for baby and sitter if mom goes back to work. Hope this helps Mom of 3 wonderful children.

Poop really can be projectile!

There's nothing your baby can be upset about that 5 minutes a the breast won't cure:)

Whatever you're going through, just remember "this, too, shall pass".

My advice is if a grandma or grandpa or even daddy say they will watch the baby for a couple hours so you can get some sleep. Take them up on it.
I made the mistake of not taking the help and by week 4 I was a zombie.

Also after a month if the weather is good try to get the baby outside a little. My daughter loved her outside time and it made her sleep better at night.

The most important thing I learned, although the hard way, was to let the baby cry when it is hungry. If you run to every little sucking noise, they will never learn to go back to sleep alone. If they are truly hungry, they will cry. I breastfed my son, and every time he woke up in the night sucking on his fist I would get up to feed him. He never did learn to soothe himself back to sleep. He's four now.lol. Tons of people told me this one too though. :D

Someone already mentioned my favorite: nap when the baby naps.

Also: warm the baby's bed before putting her/him down. A heated pad or older, heated water bottles, tucked into the covers help make a warm nest to set baby down in once they are removed. It is much easier to transfer a baby from your warm arms to a warm place than a cold one.

S.-I did this at my baby shower and I LOVED IT! I'm guessing all the invites have already been mailed? If not, ask people to write down a little piece of advice for the new mommy. You can also have paper and pens at the shower. Set them up on a table and ask everyone to write down a little advice for the new mommy, daddy and family.

Take things one day at a time. There will be times when you get frustrated, confused and upset. This is normal and doesn't mean you are a bad mom or person. It's OK to want a little alone time. Take it! Take a bath, go sit in the closet ;) or anything to just get a few minutes of alone time.

Don't worry about the housework. It'll be there later. Your house will never be spotless again! (Sorry)

Listen to your baby. He/She will tell you when they're tired, hungry, upset or overstimulated.

Most of all, You CAN do this! There will be days when you think you can't, but you can. You will be the best mom for your child.

Enjoy your little baby!

My husband and I are still learning as we have an adorable 3 week old baby girl who constantly keeps us guessing on things. This is what we HAVE learned so far:
- my husband and I share time / responsibilities with our
daughter; don't try to do it alone and ask for help when
you need it (whether it be from friends or family)
- we love those germ-x moisturizing hand sanitizers (our
hands were raw from all of the hand / bottle washing and
they are perfect for when you have guests who want to hold
the baby)
- keep a prepared diaper bag ready; when you come home from
an outing, fill up anything needed (diapers/wipes/pacifier
(if using)/extra clothing (learned the hard way on that
one)/2 burp clothes/diaper rash ointment (we like
Aquaphor)/bottles & nipples & formula (if bottle
feeding)/hand sanitizer
- a nightlight in the baby's room is essential for late
night feedings (I don't know how many times I had an
unhappy baby when I turned on the light before we got the
nightlight)
- don't feel like you are a bad mother if you decide to
sleep between a couple of feedings rather than spending
time interacting with your baby (that was a hard one for
me to get over)
- preparing a couple of freezable meals prior to the birth
was helpful for us; we also made sure we had phone numbers
and take out menus available for restaurants in the area
before our daughter was born
Those are suggestions a little different from what's been posted so far. Any piece of advice is great to have; you can always pick and choose which pieces you want to follow. What a wonderful thing you are doing for your friend!

You can never spoil your baby!

Hold them and snuggle with them, b/c in about a year they won't sit still for it.

Enjoy everything, even the sleepless nights, for this is a short season in your baby's life and will soon be over.

S.,

GREAT idea for your friend. My friends all did it so much earlier than me that they seriously forgot so much by the time I had "new mom" questions...I would have loved a book like this...

I can think of several things I wish I'd known, but here are some that come flying right back to me when I think of the turbulent entry in to motherhood :-)

1) Swaddle your baby - TIGHT...it isn't cruel and they (most do) love it! They come from the womb to here and we expect them to sleep? It makes them feel safe and secure and worked like a miracle for both my kids. I swore by The Amazing Miracle Blanket.

2) It really is ok to ask for help from others. Don't feel like you're not doing it right or well enough if you feel you need some back-up. Like you said - motherhood isn't for wimps!

3) Take time for your marriage/relationship - it's ok to make time for you to be a couple and not mommy and daddy 24/7. You're a better parent for it. They learn from example what a loving relationship is - and they learn it from the beginning - they're sponges from day one. If it's "normal" for mommy and daddy to have time to themselves it won't be a big deal to them when you do go out or take a couple days away.

4) Don't take to heart the stupid things other people say to you about being a parent. They often don't mean to offend but it can feel that way.

5) Keep a normal noise level in your house. If you keep it quiet for the baby they will need quiet to sleep.

6) Don't judge other moms for what they do or don't do like you - it will make you nuts...especially on the stuff like breast or bottle...stay at home or work full time...the debates go both ways and what works for others might not work for you. We're all just trying to figure it out as we go!

You're a great friend for doing this...

N.

This is for more of when they get a little older. Keep scissors around they cut up food great!

Always keep a change of clothes in the car for yourself because younever know when youmight fall pray to leaking diapers or other things that come from are wonderful children.

In our car we also keep a baby kit. It included pacifiers, diapers, wipes, baby food just extra stuff just in case so if we lost something in a store we always had back up.

I know this is going to sound crazy but when we travel we take a potty chair with us. That way are children can go any where. This has saved us from many accidents.'

The best advice I was given was every one rasied there kids diffrent ways and will always have a opinion on how you should go about taking care of your child. Instead of getting upset just say thanks and remeber you are taking your baby home to rasie not them!

It is also ok that you are over protactive of you new little one! As well as tell those that hold your new one to wash there hands and plase do not smoke!

Good Luck and what a great idea you have!!!

Hi S.,

I don't know if you have thought about it but you may want to put in a list of some of your favorites as well. I recently did a book like what you are doing and put in some of my favorites.

I consider a must have book-Super Baby Foods by Ruth Yaron, also another favorite book is Brown Bear Brown Bear.

Things I have learned-

It's ok to be late-give yourself grace and don't expect perfection. Rhythm will come but takes a while and just when you have it somebody does a dirty diaper as your walking out the door.

Find something to enjoy from every age and stage.

It's fun to shop at Once Upon A Child or garage sales-kids grow sooo fast it's hard to keep up.

This is so much fun!

This one is from Kodak . . .take 15 seconds of video every day for the first year of your child's life and you will have an amazing record of the first year. It sounds time consuming, but we did this for our 2nd child and he's now 15 months and it is such a neat thing to look at. 15 seconds a day . . .that's all!

Most things that babies love to play with are not toys at all. Remotes, old cel phones and pots and pans make the best toys and that's ok.

Motherhood is a wonderful experience, but sometimes motherhood sucks and its ok to admit that. Anyone who says that its wonderful 100% of the time is a liar.

Enjoy the "now" moments and try not to look to far ahead at each approaching milestone. Live in the moment so you don't miss the stuff that's happening today.

I totally agree with the change of clothes for everyone.

We also keep the emergency kit of diaps/wipes in the car.

Potty seat on long car rides is a must!

If you are talking to someone about motherhood and they start a sentence with "you MUST or HAVE to . . ." run as fast as you can in the other direction. They are very opinionated and you don't really want to know what they have to say. :-)

If they have a dog, have someone (husband) bring home a baby blanket from the hospital (before the baby gets there) to let him or her get the baby's scent.

What a great friend you are to do this. I wish I had a friend like you!!
B.

Always keep an extra completely stocked diaper bag in the trunk of your car for the unexspected events. This includes unopened bottled water, formula and oragel.

No mother is perfect!

No sleep for the first four months.

Forget the house work. Make someone else do it. Focus on your health and the baby.

By a can opener that removes the whole top of the can. It is better than going to ER for the finger to be reattached.

To clean children die as well as to dirty. Moderation in all things.

One must foster the male and female side of a child or they will never be a whole person.

No one is perfect remind your child and your self of it often.

Children have a side to tell you so shut up and listen.

Go with your heart on all decisions.

Always always tell the real truth. To teach a child honesty you must tell and show them the truth.

It is better to have an uneducated polite child then a rude educated one.

A baby is a gift of sacrefice. The baby is a gift and you are the one who must sacrefice who you once were. The word mother is your new name. Mother is a bitter sweet name. I feel a mother never stops worrying no matter how old they are. We lose ourselves and later try to reclaim who we were but she is gone. She is a new tree growing in a forest of love.

Told to me by a man. I am jealious of women. To have two souls or more in one body is a gift I can never know as a man. God has blessed women with this gift of knowledge. To feel that soul move and grow and come into this world.

Diaper rash - stop using wipes first. Use a small wash cloth and water. Change diapers often. Change to cloth if you are brave enough. Rash cream can help as well as extra virgin olive oil.

I children survive in spit of us.

Hold your baby as often as possible. Hold them close when you feed them. Let your family and friends hold and touch them in safe loving ways. I child must know where they fit into this life. We keep our children to far out of our reach. We leave them cold and alone. Sleep is important but love and knowing where you if in is saving a life from the unwanted lonely depressed world.

Do not worry what everyone else thinks you and your child should do.

If your child has issues remember so does everyone else. They just lie and hide it.

Laughter is the best medicine.

It will not matter in 100 years

My words of advice:
At some point during the first month, you are going to look at your partner and say "What were we thinking!" Don't worry, this is perfectly normal. Almost everyone does this. It doesn't mean you're a bad mommy. And, in a few months when the baby starts to smile at you, you will forget all about it!

As, a mother of five children, and the grandmother of four!! My best Advice, to you, S., is to trust your maternal instincts!! Be, very cautious, when, choosing a doctor, for your chidren, as you should be for yourself!!?? Please do not listen, to all of your freind's,or family's advice?? About, child rearing!! I, am not saying that all of them, are wrong?? But, by the same token,I, am not implying, that they're right, either?? Caring, for a child, is,and should be very serious business!! After, all, they, are living human being's, not dolls!!?? Be, extremely careful, when, choosing a sitter, always!! This, is the best advice, that I, can give to you!! B. I.

There is always the classic "sleep when the baby sleeps" Also to prepare meals in advance, or let others prepare meals for you to make life a little easier.
Visitors are nice, but don't let them interrupt your rest time or family time.
Don't expect too much of yourself, housework can wait.
Also, if she has a boy, cover him up for diaper changes and baths so you don't get sprayed! lol

Try to relax and enjoy every moment with your child. Each day is a learning adventure for both of you. Motherhood is the greatest expression of love. Enjoy!

Hi...

I hope to get back to give some advice.

For now I just wanted to suggest that you ask everyone at her shower to do this. It's nice to get advice from your family and friends... especially when they add humor to it. I have been asked a couple of times at baby showers to write something down for the mom to be. One of her friends inserted all the index cards in a baby photo book. It turned out great!

The most important thing to remember is to be flexible and do what is best for your baby and family.

If you breastfeed and your baby takes to it - great! If you give your baby formula, you are NOT an evil parent nor are you lazy, undedicated, and going to raise a sociopath. Any mother who tries to make you feel like less of a mother because you choose not to or cannot breastfeed is narrow-minded and judgmental. Avoid negative people like this.

Also, realize that there are many different parenting philosophies out there. Likewise, there are many different families with different needs as well. What works for one family (feeding, sleeping, etc.) might not be ideal for another family. Choose what works for you and stick with it.

If you have a boy, put a wet wipe over him to avoid the 'fountain' while changing.

Build in 15 minutes before leaving the house, as packing up the baby and all the needs takes longer in the beginning.

Keep an extra blanket, burpcloth, and maybe emergency food and a bottle (if using formula) in the car just in case.

Wash all your baby clothes before the baby comes. Arrange them in drawers according to size. Although they are cute, avoid buying a lot of clothes because there WILL be outfits that you never get to see the baby wear. Gymboree pajamas seem to run small, their one-pieces tend to run big, and their onesies and pants seem right on. Ralph Lauren/Polo stuff runs VERY small. Carters and Childrens' Place seems to be about right on. Gap seems to run big. Shop the clearance racks now for stuff the baby can wear next year - you get great stuff for 60-85% off!

You could probably skip the Dreft (expensive) and buy a dye- and scent-free detergent.

Awww, what a sweet idea!!! I sure wish I'd had more advice when I started out! LOL

I have a 16 yr old and an 11 yr old. The best advice I can give you is to enjoy each and every stage of your child's life. The Terrible Two's are terrible, but you will be surprised at how much you'll miss it! Don't rush through any of them, take them for what they are and treasure them. Because, believe me, with a teenager now, I am amazed at just how quickly my "baby" grew up.

Best wishes to both of you!!

Tell her to remember if it is a boy to "cover up" with a diaper, during diaper changes, little boys pee when they get a draft, sometimes even when they dont get a draft. My son got the doctor when she was checking him to get the o.k. to go home, her comment "Oh, I didn't know they would do that" My husband asked for different doc... He also got me once, and my husband once, after that you kinda remember to cover up for safety!