I have a 27 month and a 4 week old. He has been showing obvious signs of jealousy for my time. I try to put off everything else to give him one on one time. I also try to include him with helping i.e. diapers or blanket. How long should I try putting of obvious disobedience and potty training. Yes I know he should of been trained earlier so telling me that won't be helpful. There has been many big changes in our lives so I had decided to put it off till after the baby. Also any tips on training a boy? The first potty I bought way to early and has become a toy so we went last weekend and bought one together.
I would correct the obvious disobedience. I'd put off the potty training altogether for a few months while he makes the other adjustments.
I am not sure where you got your information but most kids don't "get" potty training until they are pretty close to 3 years of age. Take a break and read up on it. There are very few kids that are potty trained by 2. It's very rare in my 13 years of experience in child care and 7 grand kids.
I would keep doing what you are doing. My son was 16.5 months old when his sister was born. I immediately just put him to work helping me to keep him out of trouble. He loved it! He loved being Mom's "big boy helper". He would help get diapers, put dirty diapers (in a plastic sack) in the trash. He helped put pillows on the bed, take clothes out of the dryer, bringing dishes/bottles to the sink, picking up toys, etc. I would assist as needed and only gave him chores that were easy/safe for him to handle. He absolutely loved it. When sister was sleeping that would give us time to spend together too as she slept a lot during those first few months. His sleeping schedule was all thrown off when she entered our world, so I got a lesson plan book ( I used to be a teacher) and started planning out what our day would look like in about 45-60 minute blocks of time: wake up, change diapers/dress/give bottles, light housekeeping tasks make beds, fold laundry while kids watched a tv show, breakfast and clean kitchen, take a stroller ride/ play in the yard, playtime/playdate activities, music time, lunch time, bath after lunch helped relax my son for afternoon nap, nap, sometimes take a car ride to encourage this too, snack, playtime, watch a tv show, dinner, etc. This worked really well for us and my son never seemed jealous at all. He and his sister are now 4.5 and 3 and are great playmates for the most part. They have the occasional spat, of course, but they are great friends more than enemies. I also started implementing timeouts for my son at 18 months. I would give him a warning/redirect the unwanted behavior first and if he did it again then I would sit him in timeout for a minute. It took sometime for him to get the hang of it, but just pick a spot where you can see him from nearly everywhere. A step or on the floor. I put him on our floor next to the kitchen counter. When he was done with his timeout, I would simply say "No more (insert infraction here)" and give a hug. As he got older and could verbalize what he did wrong, then I would ask why he was in timeout and what could he do instead. etc. The consistency and structure of our day is what helped keep us all sane I think.
As for potty training, don't even worry about it yet. Our pediatrician said we could start trying around 2 years, but boys generally don't show much interest until about 3. My son didn't get it until 3 months after he turned 3 and wasn't completely potty-trained until he was 4. Honestly, I didn't let it stress me out. We would try, he would show some interest so we would keep going. Other times he wasn't interested, so we didn't press the issue. I tell you, it was like night and day when it just clicked and we have never looked back. Take care of your little one for now. It will all fall into place at some point!
HTH,
A.
What worked for me was to make my 22 month old daughter "in charge" of her baby brother. When the baby would cry, I would ask her if she thought he needed a clean diaper. Or if he was hungry, I would ask her if she thought he needed to eat. I would let her pick out all of his clothes. I would ask her where we should sit to feed him, where to change him, etc. If anyone wanted to hold the baby, I would ask my daughter if it was okay.
If I needed to nurse, before asking where we should sit, I would ask my daughter what she wanted to do while we sat (read, draw, watch a video, etc.).
I would set our lunch on a low shelf in the fridge, so when it was time for us to eat, I would ask her to go get our lunch and then decide where we should eat. I think she was too busy to be jealous.
It might have been easy because she was a girl, but she was sooo helpful, especially since I had a broken tailbone and could get up and down very easily. We also "snuck out" one in a while when Dad was home to go for a quick adventure walk or drive for an treat.
As far as potty training, have you tried having him "teach" his favorite stuffed animal how to go potty? That worked for my daughter. My son just picked it up watching Big Sister.
Why would you say he should have been trained earlier? my son potty trained the week before he turned 3... and some of our other friend with boys were later than that. one was two months after turning 3, one was 3.5. i have a friend right now with a son who turned 3 in may. he's still in diapers. cut yourself (and him) some slack! i never used small potties. i always used the potty seat inserts that go on the toilet. those worked well. plus you don't have to clean out a small potty. my son walked around our house for a few weeks basically naked from the waist down other than for nap and bed time. any time he got underwear on, he thought it was a diaper. but i'll say it worked. three day he was potty trained # 1. #2 took a few weeks.
We bribed our almost three year old. If he was dry for a month...really two weeks but it took a few accidents while playing with friends....he could go to a big boy Zoo. The Houston Zoo to be exact. He loved the zoo and is doing well. At four he is now staying dry all night. Most nights. He has had three accidnts in the last month but its to be expected. He had stayed dry in his pull up for over two months.
We also bought a potty chair. It converts into a step stool and its stayed a step stool eversince. I thought about it and decided that training on a toy potty then train again to a big potty. Skip the middle man and went straight for the big real deal. Both of my kids are pretty big and do well on the potty with a step for help. No extra seat covers. The training potty has stayed a step stool and neither kid has ever peed in it!
Don't let anyone beat you up on potty training him. All kids are different and they all will learn on their own timeline. My son was 4 1/2 before he decided that going potty on the toilet was a good idea. And I tried everything before that. So, just encourage him and reward his good potty behavior.
Also, make sure he knows that there is a special 1/2 an hour every day reserved just for him and you to be together if at all possible. That might help curb the jealousy.
If he is not showing interest I would not worry about it right now with the new adjustment and having a 4 week old. Give yourself a break.
They regress when they have a new baby anyway and want to be babied too so it could turn into a battle and you don't want that. Just give it a few months and talk about it in a positive way and maybe he will let you know when he is ready.
