Adult Birthday Get-together Etiquette

Please come to XXX shooting range at XXam/pm and spend some time with XXX(hubby) shooting the breeze, and whatever else he can shoot...lol.

Hubby and I are going to eat at XXX afterwards and if you' like to hang out with us that'd be great! They are having a /breakfast/lunch/dinner special that day of XXX for only $XXX.

But I would truly just let it be casual and talk to the wives and not put it on the invitation. An invitation means it's on you in my mind. Just tell the wives, hey, if you guys want to, we are going over to XXX after the guys get done.

I think I would email. As a surprise for _____ I've paid for an afternoon at the shooting range for all of ya'll. I hope you can make it. If it's in your budget, we'd love for you to join us for dinner at Chilis afterward.

I understand where you are coming from.. however, if I do the inviting, I pay 100% of the tab.

SO, if you are paying 100% of the gun range, then that is great and make that clear on the invite.

If you do not plan to pay 100% of the dinner, don't invite anyone to dinner.

OR, have a preplanned dinner at your home prepared by you and invite them to your home for dinner. Your home cooking should save a bit of $$.

Here is a thought. The money that you plan on going out to dinner with your hubby why don't you buy pizzas instead?? 7 guys equal 4 or five pizzas, make a salad. and you can always say byob (bring your own booze) on the invite. I hope it all works out!!

I like Tracy K's suggestion. Perfect!!

You don't have to mention that you are not treating for dinner. When adults go to dinner, they expect to pay their own way. Just keep in mind who your guests are and choose an appropriate restaurant. You might even spring for a couple of large appetizers for "the table". You don't have to tell them that part, either.

Regarding the shooting range, let them know that for your husband's birthday, "he and his friends will be treated..." or that YOU "will be treating him and his friends to...". Then, ask them to also join you for dinner to continue the celebration.

Just tell them in advance, then it won't be a big deal. I went to a party before where the hostess emailed that we'd get picked up in a limo at her house, then go to dinner and then to laser tag (sounds funny, but her husband loved it!!)
Anyway in the e-vite she told us that she was picking up the limo, snacks and beverages, and then laser tag, but dinner would be buy your own. There was also a post party at her house.
If we found that out when we were there, I would have been put off, but knowing before hand made it no biggie.

Go to the shooting range and there say does anyone want to go to where ever. About the only way I can think of ahead of time is to verbally invite them to shooting and dinner and then say we will be paying for the shooting range. That makes it pretty clear you aren't paying for dinner.

That's a great gift idea!
For the friend that knows about the surprise - can you let him know your idea about dinner, and during the shooting range he can casually mention - "hey - let's all meet for dinner tonight?"
Or - to the people that are invited, you can tell them - we are going to "_____" for dinner tonight if you want to meet us there.
Just a casual invitation, and, with your hubby being the birthday boy and all, I'll bet they will chip in for his celebration dinner.

"No-host" or "Dutch" should do the trick.

Why not just invite them back to the house and have some burgers on the grill, some easy sides and a cake?

Otherwise, I would somehow word it that the cost of the shooting range is covered but dinner afterwards is optional. I think "implies" that dinner is not covered, and if they want to go, they have to pay their way. Maybe even mention the name of the restaraunt and say something like "dinner prices start at $12". Not sure, I think its awkward any way you do it. I think it would be easier to just host dinner at your home and make it casual. Good luck!

I second Heather. These are grown men who are used to paying for themselves, unlike some young 20-somethings who are still used to mom and dad paying for them. I'd make a point to say you are treating at the shooting range and in a separate sentence say they're invited to dinner. Then when you're at dinner, eyeing up the menu, casually mention that you're going to buy some nachos and wings for appetizers. That lets them know you're just getting a couple appetizers but they're for sure paying for themselves otherwise. Like you said, they're really nice, laid-back men. :) You're a good wife to do this for your husband, I'll have to save this idea. :P