Hi, M.,
We were in the process of adopting an infant through a private adoption facilitator 2 years ago when my husband abruptly lost his job, which meant a 1,000 mile relocation to here to secure another job. We are actually THANKFUL we were not able to go through a private adoption faciliator for our adoption. Now we are going through a foster/adoption agency called Covenant Kids to foster-to-adopt.
The reason we are thankful is this: mainly we just feel like that was NOT meant to be and this is. We feel like my husband's job loss and relocating to TX has a purpose in us being united with a son we have been praying for for 10 years. Do we know him yet? no. But we will.
There are 3 basic types of adoption: International, domestic, and state adoption. We were quoted a MINIMUM of $25,000 for an international adoption. I know friends who just adopted from China: $50K. They are now adopting twins from Guatamala: $75K for the both. It can be expensive and you have to stay in that country for a certain period of time (for my friends, 2 weeks).
Domestic adoption is usually going through an adoption agency. For us, looking for a newborn, we were quote $10- $15K. Very often you are asked to help the birth mother with living expenses the last few months, thus the price. The adoption faciliator we were working with ONLY did open adoptions...you made a plan with birth mother for what expenses you would cover (cash) and what type of contact you would have afterward. We had no problem with the concept of an open adoption, just the fact taht we were giving money to a woman we barely knew who may or may not keep her committment.
The biggest problem we had with private and international adoptoin is kind of a weird one. It just did not sound right to me to pay a country or a woman for a child they were hoping to get off their hands anyway. This struck me after we explained the process of supporting a birth mom and paying for her expenses til the birth, and then my children turned that around and summed it up as, "my mommy and daddy are buying a baby." Certainly it shouldn't be worded that way, but it just didn't set right wiht me, and maybe that is ONLY because the purpose was for us to do what we are doing now...maybe for us to be united with the son intended for us, we needed to do this.
Through the state of Texas, there are 3 types of programs: Fostering, fostering-to-adopt, and straight adoption. If you foster children and then decide you want to adopt them, then you can do that after the parents' rights have been terminated.
We are doing foster-to-adopt, which means we are hoping that our agency with place with us a child who is HOPEFULLY adoptable, but there is no guarantee. We will take care of them as if they are ours, but we may end up handing them to a relative or their parents in the end. If they are adoptable, once the parents' rights are terminated, we officially say we want to adopt and then it is finalized in court months later. Usually from placement to adoption it is 10-18 mons because the parents have the ability to "earn" their child back by completing a program desginated by the court.
Straight adoption though Texas is basically like working with a private adoption agency. You get approved and then submit a photo album for your agency to submit to CPS and CPS to math to an adoptable child. Once matched, you meet a few times, they spend the night a few times, and then if all goes well, you sign an intention to adopt, they move in, and 6 months later your adoption is finalized. It can take longer to get a placement this way for a child under 6, which is why many are choosing to do foster-to-adopt.
We have 2 daughters through birth, and we intended intially (after 10 years of daydreaming and prayer) to foster-to-adopt a boy 0-2. But once we went through the training, our heart strings were tugged and we realized it is not fair for foster kids to be sleeping in hotels with CPS workers b/c of a lack of beds in foster care homes. So we are going to foster-to-foster another boy 0-3, just because we want the children to be much younger than our girls so their innocence is not tainted AND b/c we have accumulated things for this age group through the years. We will basically have one we are adopting and one bed for any little boy who needs temporary care, be it 3 days, 2 weeks, or 2 years.
I hope I have not bored you to tears. There are people who have actually gone through it, and we have not gotten that far yet. We are through the entire process except for our homestudy. We should be open for a placement within 2-4 weeks. We could have a placement the same day we are certified or it coudl be months. Very often through Covenant Kids, placements happen quickly. It really is a very prayerful, honorable agency, and nice to have a liason to CPS.
If you would like to know more about the specific process we have gone through to become foster-to-adoptive parents, please let me know. I am always happy to help. I have had someone I met on Mamasource walk me through this process and I want to do the same for others.
