Adjusting to Life After Baby...

I don't know what other moms will put but this is my opinion. I have several mom related sites and blogs on the internet and have had the opportunity to meet some wonderful online moms. Almost all of them including me have been through this. It got worse with my second. I say go out and have some fun. Take advantage of your alone time. Having a baby changes alot of things but it's still a wonderful time and in a way, even though you feel like you are drifting apart, the baby has actually bonded you closer. I can't say it gets easier cause with us it actually has gotten a little harder. But it's normal to bicker and have a couple of problems, because all your decisions are revolving around your child. Plus work and stress brings it out. But it sound like you and your hubby have had a good strong relationship and I hope things get alot better.

N. B.
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Hi, yes, I am going thru this still. My daughter is 14 months and I couldn't figure out why I was feeling like this. I drove my self crazy and I'd blame it on having to put too much of my attention to my girl and my husband not helping me do anything with her. I think I started resenting that, the only thing he did was wash her bottles, change her diaper at night, and get her dressed in the morning.....other than that I did everything. I was responsible for keeping the house clean, cooking, making sure our girl ate and was ok. And not to mention I was dead tired and didn't even have a sex drive. This is how my day goes, I leave my house at 6:20, drop off my daughter and go to work, then go pick her up and get home at 5:00pm give her a snack, play with her then at 7:30 give her dinner and after that take her a bath and put her to bed at 8:30pm, then I still have to pick up and cook dinner for us. After that I pack her bag for the next day and go to bed around 10:00. My husband has a jiu jitsu class so most of the week I'm doing this alone. He is uncomfortable taking her a bath so I don't force it, so when he can he will fix her water for her. We need time for us alone and we need to reconnect. He has been helping me more with her but to me it's still not enough. I think thats one of my biggest problems, that I think he should be doing alot more. She is very attached to me and will want me over him. My email address is ____@____.com if you want to talk some more.

EVERYBODY goes through this. If they say they don't they are lying. It will get better as the baby gets older but you have to realize and accept that things will never be like they were before and try to incorporate the kid in fun activities. You would be surprised how much you might enjoy the zoo, aquarium, etc. We started taking our daughter to that type of stuff when she was 3 mo old. As long as you agree to stick together it will all work out and do things alone when your mother in law can sit. You could also find another parent with a small child you trust and take turns babysitting. You are NOT alone.

YES, YES, YES . . . going thru same thing! Things changed for us after we had our baby (now 2yrs) but didn't get bad until she turned about one. We have suffered for a year before starting marriage counseling and after only 3 sessions we are doing so much better. For us, i think we didn't just have the baby adjustment but i quit my job to be at home and that is a whole other set of "adjustments". Best of luck!

I dont have much advise only that YOU MUST get a sitter and go out at least 2 times a month. Get a sitter for overnight to help that sex life. It took me and my husband almost a year maybe 2 to get adjusted. My daughter is 5 now.

Wow, tough times but, if you've made through others you will be fine. Yes, you have reached unchartered water for you two but, others have too. Like them you will be fine. Take into consideration that YOUR sex drive should start to get back to normal in about 3 mo maybe a little longer. It took me about 1 1/2yr. to pick up speed again. It's normal to be consumed with caring for the baby.
True your lives together will not be overflowing with spontaneous fun like it used to be. It will be replaced with waterparks, recitals, homework, and family dinners. While the kind of fun you will be having is different it is just as rewarding. Don't give up on time alone, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT! Make sure to give yourselves time together and alone. It was pretty hard for me at fisrt but the older they get the easier it gets and better I handle the balace. Don't Lose hope you two will get it right, and it will be GREAT!