Accused of Stealing Money

As long as you know you did not take it, they can say what they want. They sound a little strange.

I bet they moved it and forgot. I have done that, but forgot where I put something.. I never accused anyone else, but I really have lost things for over a year.. FYI.. I will be 50 next year! Yikes!

Hi J.,

I am over 50 and I have found that people that have a certain problem tend to suspect others of it... For example, thieves think everyone steals. Liars think everyone lies. Most people simply think their "nature" is human nature. I know it's hard not to be hurt by these comments but your husband has probably dealt with this all his life. I think the safe as a gift is a great idea. Make sure you aren't able to determine the combination and let them know that you want them to know that everything they have is safe and out of harms way. Even though they may not appreciate it, they can't accuse you or anyone of stealing anymore.

Hang in there!

M.

Ok, not to be rude but Honestly, I dont know to many people that accuse people of stuff with out either A: they have proof, and need to expose them, B: they know these people have tendancies.. So In my opinion, the parents are not old at all, and maybe they know something about your husband that you dont? IDK, this is what first popped in my mind after reading your question. Just a different opinion...

Ditto Mimi's advice.....

I grew up in a family that readily and openly accused others of stealing something if the person could not easily find the missing article. I just assumed all families operated that way.

To this day, if I have misplaced something my FIRST thought is that someone else took it. I have wrongly accused, in my mind, that my sister or husband or the cleaning lady has taken 'it.'

Thank God I have the common sense to know that my husband wouldn't steal from me. It is such a reflexive learned way to deal with loss.

So I suggest that you don't take it personally, even though they are directing their comments at you and insinuating it possibly is you. It tells you a lot about how little they trust others.

Buy them a safe, but I bet they'll not use it and still accuse others.

BTW, I am 50 next week and I cannot even count how many times I have placed a valuable item in an extra good place for safe keeping and cannot recall when the need comes where that special place is anymore. So, a lock box or safe it great answer.

I am sorry you have to deal with unsubstantiated accusations. It hurts no matter how mature and tolerant a response you choose.

I am sorry. I wish I had some advice for you. Something similar happened last year at my parents house ( I do not live with them) my mother was given a substantial amount of cash to replace a bracelet with and the money "disappeared" no accusations were made, they acted like they thought my grandfather who lives with them might have taken it ( which seems preposterous to me) but there were some uncomfortable vibes and insinuations for a while. Both my sister and I have young children and we tend to wander around the house following little ones...I tend to think there is a possibility it was misplaced as I know I did not take it and I know my sister never would either, my parents have just been too generous to stoop to that level. All I can tell you, is you know in your heart whether you took it or not and if they believe you took it there is pretty much no convincing them otherwise. I am sorry they have to be that way. Older people get forgetful about money! I hate the idea of people leaving money lying around, that is what banks are for! I started cleaning houses and nothing makes me more nervous than the idea of being accused of taking something when I know I would rather have a good job then risk it for a one time thing!
Honestly I would Not buy them a safe, if they want one...let them buy it!

That stinks they are accusing you. I'd be hurt too. Me and my best friend Tab lived with our friends when I was 17 when I was kicked out of my house and their grandma lived with them. She swore we stole and pawned a wedding gift she was going to give to her friend (even though we weren't even old enough to pawn anything) To this day I have no idea what what we are accused of stealing even IS. Then she said my baby (I was 20) was the product of her 45 yr old son sleeping w me (he never touched me ever) because he was a single dad to our friends that we stayed with when I was 17... lol, I lived and got pregnant in arizona in 2008 (not South Carolina where they live) from my exhusband. She also said the same thing about my best friend Tab and her baby is mixed (her son is white and Tab is white) that she had in CALIFORNIA with her son's dad! LOLLLLL

Some people are insecure with themselves and sometimes push it off on others. Sorry so long, just know your not alone. I'd go crazy if that woman was still in my life.

I think the safe present is a good idea from YOU guys just because it kinda gives that little message that you didn't do it, I mean why would a thief give someone protection when they want their stuff.

How old are they? Is it possible that they are starting to lose their memories/minds a bit and getting a bit paranoid or irrational? The paranoia and accusations often go along with memory loss and dementia.

Is it one of them leading the charge on this issue?? Perhaps dad is suffering form early dementia?

before you even said it I was thinking buy them a safe. Of course they may think you know the combo or made a key for yourself! Then you could tell them that know you don't want to be bothered by accusations of stealing now that they have a safe.

Was there anyone else who could have taken the money? Does anyone else have access to the house when no-one is home? Could be they know who the culprit is but are in denial.

Either way, it is most important that you know the truth and that you and your husband support each other in this matter. Oh, and I love the idea of the portable safe for so many reasons.

Good Luck.