About to Loose It

Breathe. I have been having one of those days too. It will get better. Cry it on out, it may help you. Big hugs! =)

We all have those days! Take a shower and if the little one wakes up she can cry for a little while. Cry too if you want or need to!

I wish that I could come over and rescue you. We have all had those days or (weeks). Good luck....believe in yourself and lean on your friends if necessary.

Cry girlfriend, it works wonders for the soul.

your in my prayers, i have been there and done that!!!! hope it gets better for you!

You have a newborn and a toddler, the fact that you've got time to type this message impressed me! :) I remember those days, they're not that far off for me. I have a 10 month old and a 3 year old. I remember feeling that way when the baby cried in the middle of the night, threatening to wake up my son who would RARELY go back to sleep. It's so frustrating.

Take a deep breath. If the breastfeeding isn't going well, don't beat yourself up if you supplement with formula, or switch to formula altogether. Both my children were formula fed babies and they are happy and healthy. (well, my toddler is driving me crazy these days, but I'm hoping that's normal.)

To say that we should "enjoy our children every second of every day" is phony in my opinion. We are mothers who do the best that we can, and we must accept that not every moment of every day is all rainbows and unicorns. It's hard. There is NO harder job on earth actually.

Just the fact that you're feeling guilty over not enjoying your children today makes you a wonderful Mom.

Lynsey

When my oldest was born, I could have written your post word for word! (She turned 8 yesterday, but I can still remember that time of her life like it was yesterday, it was so traumatic!) Something I found out later that I wish I had known at that time was the Babywise method. It really helped me organize my baby's day a little better, so I didn't feel quite so insane (also helped us both get some quality sleep time, which was a HUGE help!!). Not that that helps you right this minute though.

Do you have a girlfriend who can come over and watch your little ones for an hour so you can soak in the bathtub and relax for an hour, that may save your sanity today! Have a nice glass of wine and relax...

And honestly, if breastfeeding makes you crazy, just bottle feed! Your baby will be FINE! I've known plenty of bottle-fed babies who grew up to be just as wonderful, smart and happy as their breastfed counterparts. Remember, ain't mama happy, ain't nobody happy! =)

Oh my first thought is how much I wish I could come over and hold one of those babies for you! Please know that your hormones are still out of whack, your body is still recovering from childbirth, your infant is still adapting to life outside the womb And things WILL GET BETTER! Think of it as a health issue you shouldnt feel guilty about. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Call your friends, relatives, church. Dont feel guilty asking for help-many people love to help! Dont feel you should do this alone. People like me who love babies and toddlers would LOVE to lend a hand for a few hours and feel great for doing it!

Take a shower, nap when baby naps, nap when toddler naps, buy a nice side to side baby swing (like the papason one), or get into baby wearing. Perhaps baby is colicky or has milk allergies... many moms who experience this switch to soy milk and it helps. Maybe baby is having a hard time nursing because it is tongue tied and needs it's tongue clipped so it can nurse.

Nurse while laying down on the couch and watching a nice, relaxing movie, and give the toddler some crayons or building blocks or a little snack to keep her busy for a little bit.

The baby will be okay if it has to cry for a few minutes while you shower or something.

You can let the toddler tickle the baby's cheeks and dangle a cute toy in front of it or sing it a nursery song so that you can pump. Toddlers love to help.

Its fine to go in your room for a few minutes and cry and get it out, then get a new outlook and start over. Hang in there, will have all been there!

Vent AWAY. Don't feel bad about it just try to make it through the day. Call a friend over so that you can get a nap! Well that is more for tomorrow than today it is getting kinda late for a nap. Cry it will make you feel better. Talk to your hubby about what time you need him to come home I would say for like the next 2or 3 weeks. Or arrange for a friend to come over and help you out a bit. Friends like holding itybity things. :) Before you know it you will be in a routine. Going from 1 to 2 is a mess but you will get there. Remember it will take your body a while to get back to normal, hormones included. Just remember to breathe. As long as you have fed everyone and they are clean you did your job today! Don't try to be superwoman, you already are.

Oh, you poor dearie! My oldest was 23 months old when my second girly was born and I seriously felt like I was reading my own words in yours just now from back then!
Take a break.
Let the baby cry some...as long as you need.
Let yourself cry too. It will help calm you down.
Don't feel guilty!!!! This is COMPLETELY normal!
Step out the door for some fresh air and breathe!
Some days are hard, but it will get better!

Loni

Heidi,
You've got a lot going on. Do the best you can. That's all anyone can do. And remember, you can supplement with formula or switch to formula if you wish. Don't stress. Hang tough!

Take a deep breath. Let the baby cry in the other room with the door closed for a bit so you can take a minute to chill. You are doing a wonderful job and a huge pat on the back for breastfeeding. It is not easy for any new mom and you are not alone in feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and ready to loose it. A quick laugh.... kind of sad though. When my son was 4 weeks old we were having Thanksgiving dinner a my house that year. Big mistake but we can't go back in time :) The night before I was trying to get everything ready, house cleaned, food prepped, I was even thing of washing my hair for the 1st time in 2 weeks. That night he fussed and fussed and I was so exhausted and frustrated and overwhelmed that I told my husband "I have changed my mind, I am not cut out for this whole baby thing, I think we should give him away, I will tell my family about my decision at dinner tomorrow" I said all this with a straight face and was actually thinking it was a good idea. I promise it gets easier. I promise it is worth it. I promise that you can do it. I promise that we all have been there before. xoxoxoxooxo

I am editing to add... I did not give him away, lol. I just wanted you to see that we have all been at that point before. My husband got mad at me for saying it and I felt like the worst mom in the world for even thinking it. But hay for 5 solid minutes I was thinking, what's with this baby crying all the time.

One trick... do something FUN while nursing. Read a book or watch a movie. Then nursing becomes bonding AND "me" time.... instead of just waiting for it to end so you can do something.

And ditto Susan.

Nobody's 8 hour day equals another person's 14-18 hour day.

Supplement with formula. You need your sanity, and rest. Happy mommy happy family. It is not the end of the world if you have to use formula. Cry if it will make you feel better. When daddy gets home tell him he needs to take a shift and put yourself in bed. Sleep deprivation can make you feel awful. I feel for you hang in there it will get better.

... I can totally relate... when I had my 2nd baby.
THAT same thing happened to me too.
To any Mom. Because 'timing' everything and trying to get everything
into a good timing.. is so hard. Per naps, per feedings, per wakings, per the other kid's needs, per the baby's needs...

Your Hubby... has to step up... and give you a break.
It does not matter that he works and you are home.
HE is a parent too and these are his kids too, and therefore, he is a 24 hour parent too.
No parent, is 'exempt' from parenting duty. Especially with a newborn and an older child.
A parent is a parent... regardless if they work outside the home or not or are a SAHM.

TELL your Husband... you are not a single parent.

all the best,
Susan

You are not alone girl! Adjusting to two children is hard! I went through almost the same thing, my newborn was so challenging to feed and I had a 3 year old. I sadly was only able to give him breastmilk (because he would never latch on) for about a month. Pumping, then feeding him, then pumping again at like 2am? No, I sadly gave it up. I felt guilty, but for the sake of my sanity and my poor 3 year old getting no attention, I said enough was enough! I remember those days, it was so hard, it gets easier, or you at least get used to it. My newborn is 2 now and its much easier! Haha! Hang in there girl!

I didn't read all of the other responses but have you tried swaddling? It always helped my kids sleep better and it was the only way I could put them down!

Hi Jacy, you need to let the baby cry for a few minutes and take a couple of deep breaths, I have been reading your post ever since your daughter was born, and you are a good mother. I had to do this with my first born who is now 26, a crying baby can take a toll on your sanity, every new mom has been where you are. You don't have to carry your baby all morning any morning, your baby will get older and won't always cry so much. We are all out here any time you need to vent, but when your baby is crying to the point that you have done everything you can do is lay your sweet baby down, crying strenghts their lungs and keeps fluid out of their lungs, words of Dr. Lehman Pediatrician. your a good mom Jacy hang in there and if you need to cry, it will be good for you and help you relieve stress, seek out help from your husband as much as possible, maybe an friend cann come spend the night sometimes when your husband has to work late. Be happy you have a husband and 2 beautiful children. J.

They will grow up and leave one day. You'll cry then too. You are so overwhelmed. Let the babies be in their rooms and just close the doors. If they are in their beds they will be OK.
Can you get out of the house maybe have someone come and sit with them while you just take a walk.
We need to take care of ourselves so we can take care of them. (((HUGS)))) hon. It gets better.