My husband is a teacher. One of his student's wife passed away unexpectedly. My husband never got to meet her, but he has gotten to know his student well from teaching him for a while now. The student plans on continuing his lessons after a few weeks have passed- so he will definitely see him again and for a while thereafter. My husband wants to give him something along with a card... but doesn't know what would be appropriate and meaningful. I was wondering if you all had any ideas? His student and his student's wife are in their 40's, if that is helpful. They talked about getting together for a BBQ or something (me, my husband and he and his wife), but that never happened.
Thank you for your suggestions
Thanks all. And just to clarify to some- it is not a child that is his student, my husband's student is an adult in his 40's. It was the student's wife that passed away. It is very sad- she was young.
A card that extends sympathy and friendship-
perhaps a donation to a cause that fights whatever took her life?
Best wishes-
This is going to seem really unorthodox, but I saw wait. Send something like a card for the husband and the student now. But, wait a few weeks until you extend your generosity and sympathy in terms of something more meaningful.
My rationale is this: when I was diagnosed with cancer, unexpectedly after our 2nd child's birth, everyone wanted to help. As time went on, and it became more of a norm that I was going through chemo, the offers, the support, the concern dissipated a little. That's probably when we needed it the most.
The family will be flooded with generosity initially. Most will, unfortunately, not get recognized because of the sheer volume. But, it's the unexpected gifts that seem to come out of nowhere, deeply meaningful and inspirational that really lift your spirits.
I hope that helps.
I think that the best thing that your husband could offer is an open door and a bit of freedom on the assignments, etc.
I agree with what Dana said completely. I lost my father when I was 2 and to be honest, the best thing that a person could do is do be a wonderful presence in this child's life. You don't mention what your husband teaches or how old this child is, but it may not matter. We had an older neighbor couple that truly become a lifeline simply because they were really there. Invite then to dinner or include them in an activity. One of the hardest things our family experienced was the isolation. Some people just have such a hard time being there. I am a teacher too, so I know what it is like to feel close to a student, but to also be aware of boundaries and limits, but if you can reach out, that I think, would be the best gift.
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write a note... maybe include a picture frame.. so he can put a photo of his loved one in it... just an idea... it's going to be hard.. she was young.. so it will be hard...
I think a lot of it depends upon how close your husband feels to his gentleman. It sounds like he must really feel close if you all were considering having dinner together.
Besides sending a card...I would prepare a couple of small meals that can be frozen and he can bring them out on an evening that he just doesn't feel like cooking.
I am assuming, from what you said about continuing his lessons...that this is not a typical classroom situation...that your husband teaches music or something like that from your home. Maybe your husband could ask him to go to something that is associated with what he is teaching...a concert, art fair, something that is a mutual interest. Just be his friend...be there for him...he is going to need support and friendship as he adjusts to this loss in his life.
Would an edible arrangement of fruit be an option? I don't think a male would like flowers. If he has no one to cook for him, maybe a homemade meal - meat, veggie, bread, salad. This may be difficult to answer because we don't know much about him, like hobbies.
How sad. I loved Dana W."s answer. It is always the unexpected and a "little after everyone else has left" type of gift that rocks our world. My daughter does caricatures of people that we have given to folks after their loved ones have passed away that they have adored. You can find the artists at places like Great America, Apple Holler, Disney World,Sea World or anywhere that does that. It is such a fun thing because a caricature is not usually the person as you remember them. These are usually "fun" pictures.
A good friendship and a re-assuring offer for a shoulder to cry on when he needs it. Trust me, he will be needing these more than anything.
Maybe a donation in a charity she was interested in?
