A Poopy Problem

Updated on December 20, 2006
E.B. asks from Enola, PA
8 answers

I am on my last straw. My 3 year old potty trained pretty quickly this past summer shortly after he turned 3. He's been wearing "big boy undies" since July. When we first started potty training he always pooped in the potty, but had difficulty with going pee in the potty. We figured it out and were on a roll here for a while. Lately, he makes no attempt to poop in the potty. He'll poop little bits and ask me to clean him up. This will happen 2 or 3 times a day until he finally lets out the whole thing. At first I thought he may just let out a little when he toots, but I'm not convinced anymore.

I've tried explaining to him that if he wants to wear his big boy underwear he needs to poopy in the potty and not in his pants. He says all the right things, but goes ahead and does it again. I've tried letting him sit in it for a while, so he realizes how uncomfortable and icky it is. He screamed and cried, but still didn't hesitate to do it again.

The only things I haven't tried is rewarding him. I don't want him to expect a reward when he does something he's supposed to be doing anyway. There is a reason I say this. My husband brought him home some things from work and now every time he comes home the first thing out of Dom's mouth is "what'd you bring me". It drives me nuts. I don't want him to be the same with the potty. "I pooped, Mommy. What do I get?"

Any suggestions??

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

E.A.

answers from Erie on

It's called encopresis, I have a son with it. Your son needs to start sitting on the toilet after each meal as a matter of routine. He's a little young to start the Miralax/Glycolax stool softener. Rewarding for pooping is one thing they actually suggest for this condition, but NEVER NEVER punish for it.

These kids cannot control what is happening. To learn more about it go to: http://www.aboutencopresis.com/ Luckily your son is still young enough that if you start regular "sits" after meals, you can probably avoid the worst. Unfortunately you will be hard pressed to find a doctor who will diagnose at this young age, so go read the suggestions at the website I posted to (there's a discussion/support board there too)and find out what you can do about this right now. It will not go away on it's own, it will only get worse. Work together, be his partner in this. It's scary for them. Good luck.

Anyone is free to message me to talk about this. My son is almost 9yo and it took us three doctors and 5 years to get the correct diagnosis. He is healing, but it will take years of the meds and behavioral training for him to be totally well again.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My now 4 year old son did the same thing. He potty trained, then a few months later, he started pooping in his pants. It was not a medical condition, it was just he did not want to take the time to go to the bathroom, or something. He did it for a couple of weeks then decided it is better to go on the potty. He still wears pull ups to bed, and if he has to poop before the pull up is off, he will still go in the pull up. But at least he stopped going in his big boys. I have tried reasoning with him, telling him it is gross, everything, nothing really worked until he decided that he would rather go in the potty. I did give him rewards for going in the potty without any poop in his pants. That seemed to work better than anything else that we did.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hello E.,
I'm sorry but i haven't had this problem myself, but maybe if the little boy that you babysit is still wearing diaper, which i don't know if he is or isn't, but if he is maybe when you change him your son is jealous of the time you give the little boy that you babysit, he might think of it as special time that the other little boy is getting and he wants to have it as well. I hope this helps out a bit, sorry if it doesn't
S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.A.

answers from Philadelphia on

You may need to reward him,but not with THINGS. This sounds goofy but it worked for my daughter. You need to make a big deal about him going on the potty. We used to have a streamer we got out and paraded around the house in celebration of the big event. We'd sing a little song to make her feel good about going. Reward him positively about going on the potty, and don't scold him about not going. Try not to show frustration or negative reaction to not going. Reinforce the positive not the negative. Let me know if this helped
Gwen

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I had this problem with my son up until he was about 6. We had to go to a specialist to find out why. It turned out that he had a condition that the Dr. put into simple terms as stool withholding syndrom. What it is is that at some point my son had extreem pain while pooping. Therefor he would hold it for as long as he could and then it just kind of came out on its own. I'm not saying that this is what is wrong with your son just sounds like what we delt with.

Punishing him and yelling at him will not help. We even tried the reward system too. Nothing worked! With the help of stool softener (Merilax) he was finally able to over come it. I know it's frustrating and well gross but my son did out grow it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

we have this problem with my daughter. She refuses to poo in the potty she will pee but refuses to poo she is now 4 and still will not use the potty. She will poo and catch it in her hand before she will sit on the potty. She has gotten extremely constipated and is taking Miralax everynight to help the problem. Our doctor started us out on mineral oil but it wasnt working for her. So we have a prescirption for Miralax. She also has to ask for a pull-up. Our concern was to make sure she didnt get impacted which i think she was becuase she was poo at night just a little bit everynight. I dont know how to fix the problem becuase I am still dealing with it, but i can only let you know that you are not alone. We tried reward charts like sticker but she would get into them and put them on the chart even when i thought i had a very good hiding place. If you do figure out a solution if you could let me know i would greatly try it myself.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.A.

answers from Allentown on

How about instead of a toy, use stickers. Let him put the stickers on a chart, or on the potty.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Harrisburg on

Hi, I just wanted to say that if he is 3 1/2, he IS NOT too young for Miralax. My daughter was about 2 maybe younger when her Dr. suggested Miralax, not for the same reason, but because she gets very constipated. She always has and still does from time to time and she is 5 now. It's not quite your situation, cause she didn't & doesn't go in her pants, but there are times she doesn't poop for a day or two. She takes the Miralax with some juice and she's fine. Miralax can be a great thing when your child is having trouble or is in pain when pooping. I would check with your Dr. for sure and I wouldn't wait, especially if he is in pain.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions