My sister, whom I love dearly, has decided to cut all ties to her past, including me. (this is typical of my sister not dealing with her life & issues, & while she knows I hate it, theres nothing I can do about it.) She made this descision around Christmas. She sent me an email, explaining her reasons, etc.
Last summer, I sent my sister a few hundred $, so she could come back to the coast & visit. It was a loan. She said she would repay, as soon as she could. Well, by the time of her cut off, I never heard a single word mentioned of it. So I replied to her email, usual stuff, that I'd miss her, that I didnt like it, but its her choice. I also, finally asked what she planned to do about this debt. Her reply was that she'd repay it in the next few weeks in 2 or 3 payments. Its around 3 months, and Ive heard nothing. Im not about to grovel and beg her for it, but I'm also not going to tell her to just forget about it (which is my inclination)
Personally, I would of paid her, a long time ago, or explained why I hadnt been able to, if that were the case. (she has money, and she isnt exactly poor, she just spends and budgets differently, eg: she and her BF have bought several guitars, and music equipment, all while not paying me back.)
So, to you, how long is a few weeks? I would have thought I would have recieved at least 2/3 of what she owes by now, but nothing has come, no email, nothing.
Would you pursue the debt?
* I emailed her, no response. As I expected. It does bug me, but I know better than to lend.. However, this is my childless, older sister, who has no obligations, to children or family. She was sad, homesick & depressed, I stepped in to help, financially, she stayed in my home, she was inconsiderate of my kids & regular house hours- sleeping in late, while we tip toed around. Annoying, but if I dared say something, she'd of cut me off then. I was cut off, because I posted pictures on FB of my deceased grandparents for my cousins, who never knew their Dad, or that side of the family to see. Because my Dad, abused us, I am now a link to the past- via these pictures of people who DIDNT abuse us, and a constant reminder of how shitty our lives were. Sort of understandable, but not worth a cut off- in my opinion.
2-3 weeks is a few weeks to me. And I personally would just write it off, you know you'll never see it anyway.
She already said she didn't want to have anything to do with you so forget about the money and consider it a lesson learned. you do not "loan" money to family and EVER think you will get it back. Good luck.
A couple is 2, a few is 3. She's WAY passed due.
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If she had a conscience, you would have your money by now.
I'd write it off. Call id "stupid tax" and learn a lesson.
Money and family often do not mix--at all.
Let it go.
Maybe she'll amaze you and pay it back O. day.
A few, in my opinion, implies 3. Approximately.
A very wise person once told me that when you loan someone money, you have to do so with the expectation that you will never get it back and if you can't afford to give it away, don't loan it.
Neither a lender nor a borrower be.
It's hard because she's your sister. You love her. You wanted to help her out.
Don't take this the wrong way, but it's possible you are just one in a long list of people she owes money to.
It sounds like she has cut all ties and written off her debts regardless of whether it was right.
I think you need to write it off emotionally too.
You are worrying about it far more than she is. Kiss the money good-bye.
Hope, for her sake, she never dares ask you again or REALLY needs something.
Just my opinion.
i would pursue the debt. and i would also be wondering if she is "cutting all ties" because she knows she owes the money and just doesn't want to pay it. you may have to write it off but just know not to loan her anything else.
I'd lay on the guilt for a few hundred bucks. What do you have to lose since she's already "cut you off"? The real reason I would pursue it is if you will continue to feel ripped off if she doesn't repay. Go ahead and stand up for yourself.
I always feel a 'couple' is two, a 'few' is three (maybe four), and 'several' is four to six. Any more than that is 'many' or 'a lot.'
She is way past due. I would pursue it. You have proof, if needed, because she 'admitted' she owes you money in the email by saying she would pay you back. Email again and ask for a schedule of payments, which includes the total. If she doesn't dispute the total, you have her 'agreement' that what you wrote is the correct amount.
I take "few" to mean anywhere between three and six. Seven up to 11 is "several." I'm kind of quasi-literal that way.
But I'll be honest that I don't believe you're ever going to see a dime of the "loan." I think that your sister on some level may feel entitled to it since she's cutting you out of her life and I would take that to mean that she finds you somehow toxic to her. I'm not saying that's right, I'm only saying that I don't think you should expect her to pay you back even if you pursue the debt. You have every right to expect it and hope for her to repay it, but I think she's going to welch on the debt. I hope I'm wrong.
Its anything over 2 weeks.
A "couple" of anything, is two.
Anything more than that is a few or several.
So now you have to REMIND her of her debt, to yo u.
It is not 'begging' or groveling.
It is stating, the FACT.
SHE is the one, who would have to beg or grovel, for your, 'patience' for her not paying you back.
Honestly, I would pursue the debt. I would let her know that it has been X amount of time and you are tired of waiting. Give her an ultimatum. She either pays you the money by X date or payment arrangement, whatever you prefer-- or you go to small claims court. I know it sounds like a crazy thing, but it may be just the thing to get her going-to let her know that you mean business. In the future, don't loan any money to friends or family.
M
Technically speaking, a "few" is 3, or in your case, 3 weeks.
a few weeks is more than 3 less than 5 ... that money is LONG gone, persueing it is a lost cause and may end up hurting your relationship.
i would count the money as lost. i would forgive the debt if you ever want a relationship with her again. a few weeks is a month or so at most. she does not sound responsible or like she appreciates you as her sister whatsoever. (just fyi, she's not "spending and budgeting differently" - she's being irresponsible and ungrateful and screwing you over. you don't have to be so nice about it!) don't ever lend her money again. GIVE it to her if you wish and can afford it. but don't delude yourself. she is not interested in being a decent person towards her sister.
3-5 weeks is a few. and at this point I would contact her about it or you will never get paid, you might not either way. My BIL owes us a great deal of money, and we are allowing payments, but if we do not stay on him about it he does not pay.
2-3 weeks. and yes get your money back from her! Or the next time she wants a free ticket, you may be the person she calls and tries to mend ties with! You need to show her you are not playing around. She is your sister, this doesn't give her the ok to take advantage of the fact you could help her out. Whether she is talking to you or not, she has to pay you back. How rude is she for just leaving you high and dry on this!
Good answer Dawn B!!!
I think you should let it go. My brother will borrow money from me and take forever to pay it back. I I were to borrow from him he wants it back the next day and hounds me needlessly to give it to him. I learned my lesson once with that and never leant or borrowed again. If your sister wants to write you off, do the same with the money, when she decides that she wants to have you back in her life, let her make that decision. I know this would eat me up if I knew that she could afford all this stuff and wasn't paying you back. You could borrow from her and when she asks you for the money just say you are even. That would get her. I would just forget it, and her. She wants to be out of your life anyways. Sorry, but good luck.
