My dd is 3, almost 4, and attends a great preschool at our church (where I also work part-time). It's a peanut-free school and the kids take their lunch. Anyway, I've sent my dd to school with a soybutter sandwich a couple of times, including today. I usually tell the teacher, "it's soy butter, not peanut butter when (child) pulls out her sandwich." Well, today, I didn't remind them that it was soynut butter, not peanut. My dd comes home with only a few bites out of her sandwich and I asked how come. She said the teacher told her she can't have pb at school and that's when I noticed a note in her lunch box reminding me I sent pb and should not have. I'm in the building, why didn't they come ask me instead of saying something to my three year old who has no responsibility over what's packed in her lunch? The comment caused her to go without eating her sandwich...maybe she wouldn't have eaten all of it anyway, but that's the reason she gave. I want to say something, but hubby thinks I should let it go. He said I could tell them I know the peanut rule and I actually only pack soynut butter (among other things). However, more of my issue is that something was said to her and not me...she didn't do it, I DID! Do I say something??
I'll also add, there are no kids in this particular class with a peanut allergy...
I wrote soy on the bag and the teacher actually said something to me about it the next time we had school (Wednesday). She was very nice and even apologized for taking the sandwich (not really necessary, but appreciated). She thought it was a good idea to write soy on the baggie and has suggested to other parents as well.
I try to be very senstive to what I pack in DD's lunch as far as smells that may not appeal to other kids, allergies, etc., but it's getting tough I'll have to admit. I'll probably continue to do the soy butter as one of my lunch options, but I appreciate knowing this is also something that others may be allergic to and will make changes if it becomes necessary for the health of the other kiddos around the table.
BTW, I did a little research (by no means am I an expert) regarding soy and have thus far found it's only a problem for those with allergies if they actually ingest it, unlike peanuts where those with allergies sometimes cannot inhale or even touch a peanut. Some with soy allergies actually even have a tolerance for the oils and can have the soy nut butter (although, not all). I'll keep reading, but this is what I know so far.
Thanks everyone for your responses! Glad this one is over...on to the next issue! :o)
If they weren't going to let her eat it then they should have called you to bring her something acceptable. I would do as some others suggested and put a note inside the lunchbox and possibly follow up with the teacher or director that she only has soy butter which is NOT a nut. maybe they don't realize this?
Say something. Also put a permanent note in her lunch box that clearly states--this is soynut butter! I am aware of the pb rule and am abiding. Please allow my child to eat her lunch! If you have any questions, feel free to call me at ###-###-####. Thank you. Do this and you shouldn't have another problem.
M
I'm sorry, but that would send me screaming over the edge. Especially knowing nobody in the class is allergic to peanuts in the first place. Yes, say something. What kind of teacher allows a small child to go hungry? She should have picked up the phone and told you to bring something else, at which point you could have reminded her that just like EVERY OTHER DAY, it was soy butter.
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I would write a note on the inside of the lunch box with a marker saying 'It's SOYbutter, no peanuts!!!' lol. Did they have an alternative meal for your DD to eat? If not, that is unacceptable. They should not make a kid go hungry, especially if you are in the building. I also think it's annoying that if the teacher knows that you have sent her soy butter before, yet still assumes it's peanut butter. I imagine there is some difference in taste or apperance... would it really have been so hard to check? I would let it go this time, and write a note every time. After all, if it really was peanut butter then it would have been a good thing that they stopped her eating it. I know kids with allergies so severe that even the smell of peanut butter can cause a reaction... so they were protecting the allergic kid. They sent a note home in the lunch box, so they did notify you. You might talk to the teacher in the morning and explain the confusion, tell them what your husband told you to tell them, and maybe pass on your cell phone number (you can't really expect them to hunt you down in the building... but a call should be easy enough) and let them know it's OK to call you with any questions in the future.
Let it go and just write soybutter on the ziplock you send her sandwich in.
Just put a note in her lunch bag.
Blessings....
I would let it go. They did send you a note. They probably forgot about your soybutter. Its hard to keep track of all of that. Next time you send her with soybutter, I would put a note on it for them just as a reminder. They may not have time to come find you either. They were probably thinking, better safe than sorry.
We have been at schools that separate the kids who have peanut lunches from those that don't, and schools that ban it altogether. I would be upset if my child didn't get to eat her lunch at all. They should have either separated her from any allergic kids and let her eat, or called you, especially since you were already there. I would raise a fuss too. Maybe next time attach a note to the sandwich reminding them of what it is so it won't happen again.
Just put a note in her lunch box next time. And EACH time. That it is soy butter.
From a school's stance.. they NEED to be vigilant about their no peanut policy, because if anything should happen to another child, they will be liable.
A school, cannot assume that it is or is not "peanut" butter. They have to surmise, that it "can" be. So it cannot be taken out.
Some peanut allergic kids, even if it is smelled, can go into a reaction and need an EPI pen, for example. Or, even if they touch a surface that another kid touched who had peanut residue on their hands... that allergic child can go quickly, into a bad allergic reaction. Some even get swelling of the throat etc.
So- it does not matter, if there are kids in her class with or without a peanut allergy. Because, any peanut reside or smells etc., can trigger a reaction in anyone who is allergic to it, ANYWHERE in the school. If there is peanut residue, around. Anywhere. And as you know, kids touch so many things with their hands, doorknobs, tables, etc. Thus, peanut residue, can spread. That way.
AND, this is a school wide policy.
The Teacher, even if you told her before it was soy butter, she cannot assume, everyday after that, that what is in your child's lunch bag, is soy butter.
They are not saying it is your child's 'fault.'
That would be frustrating. Would it work to tape a 'permanent' note inside your DD's lunchbox that you use soy butter, and NOT peanut butter? Just remind your daughter to show the note if the question arises again.
Personally, I would say something, so this doesn't happen again and you don't have to keep telling the teacher that it's not peanut butter. Honestly, the teacher should be able to remember that you've sent a soy butter sandwich every day and know that you know not to send peanut products and know that you are not going to suddenly screw this up on any given day. And if you were in the building, they should know that and should have been able to get you. Then, like some others have suggested, just tape a note in the lunch box that states it's soy and then leave it at that.
I would be upset if my child went without eating no matter what the school policy is, I mean really in the same building. I can understand they might not want to ask every time but it would not of hurt to ask you before she was not allowed to eat it.
I agree with Catherine... did they just let your daughter go hungry?! That would make me flip the hell out on them. I would say something. If you remind her every SINGLE day she should have enough sense to know it's not pb by now, I mean dern. What do you have to do, engrave it on her lunch box? Maybe you can put a piece of tape and write in sharpie every day NOT PEANUT BUTTER, it is SOY butter.
I agree w/the other mamas: a note in her box is a great idea. I would have wondered why they didn't call me as well - esp if I was that close. I would have rather been given the opportunity to make sure my child ate rather than them denying her the chance to eat lunch.
This is how parents and teachers learn how to best address these situations: feedback. I certainly understand the rule - and so do you! - but what harm would a phone call home have done? I wouldn't be on the offense with them, just reiterate that you are aware of the rule and have every intention of honoring it and to not hesitate to contact you if there are ANY questions or concerns with your DD.
the teacher doesnt seem to have much common sense..as my uncle says common sense is not that common.
I'd let it go, but I'd put a permanent marker note on the lunchbox that says "SOYBUTTER (not PB)" so it doesn't happen again. I would guess they had to say something to her because she "had" to stop eating it (some people have life-threatening reactions) - but they should have let you know. Although it could be crazy and not enough people to contact you during class time?
I would, kindly. I think you have proven your understanding of the rule, and I also think they probably have to be really picky to protect the child/children with peanut allergies. I totally agree with you that telling your three year old child is not the way to handle it, and it is fair for you to expect them to talk to you about it. It also would be good for them to have some kind of alternative available in case a parent actually does make a mistake and sends pb. (I know they don't provide the meals, but it would be easy to keep something there just in case instead of making the child feel bad and worried about eating their lunch.)
Good luck!
Go down to your local office supply store and get some avery labels and run them through your printer with "SOY BUTTER" in big letters and stick them on her sandwich every time. You might also put your phone # on them. And then just let it go...!!!
I know a lot of people have said this, but you should definitely wrote "Soy nut butter" on her sandwich container EVERY time you send something that looks like peanut butter.
I work in a preschool that is a "nut-free" school and we tell our parents to do this EVERY time they send something that looks like it might be peanut butter. Unfortunately, life-threatening allergies are very common and very scary and no teacher ever wants to have to use an epi-pen.
That said, the teachers should have found a way to track you down or call. If you make sure that you cover your ground every single time, they wont have any excuse to send home a perfectly safe sandwich. And you can also teach your daughter that she has "school safe" soy butter and that it is okay to tell her teachers this if they question her sandwich.
We have a 4 yo who always brings soy butter and she is so proud to tell us every single time that it is "school safe" butter! (And her mom writes a note on her baggie too.)
If it were my son, I would expect the teacher to give an explanation to him ("you're not allowed to have peanut butter at school") rather than just take the sandwich away from him. I do think you're over-reacting. As others have said, a quick and easy solution is to have a note in the lunchbox or on the sandwich container indicating it is soy.
Nope not overreacting at all. I'd be really ticked off. 1st of all you've reminded them previously that you use soybutter not pb, they should have remembered that. 2nd you're in the building, a quick phone call or intercom call would have been appropriate. Heck even if you were not in the building a two minute phone call is in order rather than having a child go hungry. Totally unacceptable. I realize that the teachers get very busy and it may not have been one of the teachers that knows you or that knows your child eats soybutter. I would give them the benefit of the doubt but I would address it. Perhaps in the future you could write soybutter on the sandwich bag or container? I would most def say something. I would go in there today to address the note. I would say " Working here I am very aware of the pb rule and follow it according. I have on numerous occasions informed various teachers that she eats soybutter not pb. In the future I will note that on her sandwich. Is there something else we can do to ensure my child is allowed to have her lunch?" I might even ask what is the protocol for this situation? Should a phone call have been placed to confirm contents with the parents prior to taking the sandwich from the child? Is there an alternative provided to the child or are they left to go hungry?
I feel your pain...how many times do you have to tell someone something, and why didn't they find you to discuss it??
Here's my solution: presuming you're using a plastic bag, write on the outside of the bag "SOY-BUTTER, NOT PEANUT". Hopefully, someone with half an ounce of intelligence will see the bag and get it! Good luck.
I dont think you are overreacting at all. I would be furious. This is an adult issue and you should have been called immediately. Any public school would have to call you. I would say something and let them know that it is soy. I dont get it if there are no allergies in the school. So good luck.
You should address the situation. I think it would help to send a more formal note to the teacher stating that your son has a soy nut butter spread and not peanut butter and sign it. Also you may want to put a HUGE sign with his lunch every time your kid is having soy butter like :"Soy butter NOT peanut butter".
Good luck!
As the mother of 9- I never had any food allergies or my children until my 8th child- she is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts and SOY. My 4th child didn't develop allergies until one day after drinking SOY milk for the first time-at age 13- she couldn't breathe- if we didn't have an inhaler for asthma available we might have lost her as her throat was closing up. There might not be any peanut allergies in your child's class, but what about soy- and you never know when someone can become allergic- and soy is in everything nowadays. And as a mother who has children with this allergy- i would be upset if I found that your child was bringing this food to class. You might consider sending something else for lunch and save the soynut butter for home.
I would re-state that she packs soynut butter, not peanut butter, then I would write "SOYNUT BUTTER on the baggie or wax paper every....single....time...that I packed it. ;=)
