A 4Th Baby?

My husband and I are expecting our fourth in five weeks, and we had a lot of the same questions as you. What it came down to for us was that we have the financial means to care for a fourth, and I just can't commit to saying "no more". Whether you have 1 or 5, raising kids is a challenge and a blessing at the same time. Your oldest will be about 5 or so when the new Baby would be arriving, and he can help, too (getting diapers/wipes, finding socks and shoes when it's time to go out, etc).

I wouldn't worry about your age being a factor in having another baby. My mom had my little brother at the age of 38, and both were perfectly healthy. :) Talk to your doctor and see if there is anything they would recommend before conceiving, but other than that, I say go for it! I can't wait to have my fourth! :) We're still not sure if we're done after this one (hubby said NO MORE, but as the days go by, he's slowly softening to the idea of maybe having more lol). Good luck, and pre-congrats! :D

I have no idea about the age thing, but if your doctors think you're healthy and could do it then that would probably be enough for me! I'm not sure about handling 4 kids either. It can be crazy I'm sure. I've been in a classroom with 7 toddlers with me being the only teacher and although its crazy.. you find your niche. I think you'd probably find your nice with a 4th child.

If you're struggling with the idea of permanent birth control maybe consider something like an IUD or the arm implant? I think your only choices with the IUD is Mirena or ParaGard and with the implant it is Implanon but there may be other implants out there.

And about your kiddos and only having one girl- I actually got along great with my brothers up until I was a teen. I didn't really get along with anyone at that point though ;). I grew up playing sports with them, video games. I don't feel like I was cheated out of anything for not having a sister. In fact I had a step-sister and I didn't really like her much! lol Just to let you know that your daughter will adapt to being around her two brothers and will likely have a great bond with them.

Dear J.,

Your kids are the exact same ages as my 3, although I have all boys. :) We are expecting #4 in May, so I think you can guess where I stand on the issue. At first we were a little nervous about it and had the same concerns as you, but as the days go by, we just get more and more excited! In my experience, going from one child to two was the most difficult. Adding a third was easier, because the older two had each other to occupy their time rather than needing my constant attention, and I was already experienced at multitasking. However, having all 3 in diapers for about 5 months was brutal! Your house is probably already chaotic like mine is, how much more noise and craziness can a 4th child possibly add to the mix? As for the emotional part, you do have valid concerns. Just be mentally prepared for the first 3 months of living with a newborn and the sleep deprivation that comes with it (which we all conveniently forget), and remind the hubby that you need his support, help and patience. If you ever need someone to vent to, I'm in the same boat so feel free to drop me a line! ____@____.com fun!
E.

Hi J., I had three boys (at the time 14, 7 and 4). At that time I was convinced I was done. My last one has been quite difficult to raise and I wasn't sure I could handle another child. Then a friend had quadruplets and I started helping her with the babies when they came home and it was so wonderful. I realized how much I missed it and was ready for sleepless nights and crazy days. I did have a beautiful baby girl at age 34 and it was the best decision. My pregnancy was tough and took a toll on me. My husband and I have talked about V but I too struggle with how permanent it is. One thing you could look into is an IUD. It is not permanent, but, it will give you the time to decide whether or not you are truly done having children. You may find in a year or two you are both ready, or you may find you are both happy with your three. Best of luck!

Hi Jessica,

I can only say this...if your heart is tugging at you to have one more baby, HAVE THAT BABY! You will never be sorry and your heart will be full. We had four children and after our last one we went back and forth on whether or not to have another. One month I wanted to, my husband didn't. The next month, HE wanted to and I didn't.

We are happy with our four, but in my heart, I sure do wish we had had just one more little miracle.

Listen to your heart...the answer is there.

C.

I have six. My fourth and fifth passed away. I believe they are a gift and ejoy every momment, even the difficult ones.

My husband threatened to have a V after our third child. I don't believe in them and refused to even discuss it with him. I am a practicing Catholic. Both of us are very happy he didn't have it done. It was very hard going through the deaths of our little ones and I would never want to have to experience that again, but it has brought us closer as a family. We had been using NFP to avoid. I messed up on my observations and we ended up with the most bueatiful daughter. She is now 10 months and my 42 birthday is just around the corner. I love being a Mom.

I know exactly what you are going though but from experience if you can handle 3 then its all down hill from there adjusting to 3 was the hardest for me. We have 7 and everyone past number 3 was easy. When I had number 4 my oldest was in kindergarten. And when #4 was 3 we adopted a teenager (don't recommend that one-that was not easy) then adopted was final #6 girl came along and we thought okay no boys for us until about 10 months ago we had a little boy. Life only hands you what you can handle and if you are blessed to have 4 then you will survive you will find your niche. Then older ones are always eager to help even if it just means bringing you a diaper. Good Luck:)

I have no advice for you seeing as every once in a while I have a thought of stepping foot in the same boat as you. But I'm enjoying the responses and hearing how other people came to make the decision for a 4th. For the past year I 100% knew we were done (husband says so too). But every once in a great while the idea enters my head. Not sure if it's because I just miss the babyness in the house or if a true desire is there. Only time will tell I suppose.

We have three children (almost 6, 3.5 and 1). Our oldest is a boy and then we have two girls. Our middle child is actually closer and more interested in her brother than her sister at this point so I wouldn't have another child simply for sibling gender reasons. I think the closeness of siblings at our children's ages is simply due to abilities more than gender. Once they all get a bit older they'll all be close.

Best of luck!