9 Year Old with Insomnia

You're doing too much. She is depending on you and all the things you do for her, so now she HAS to wake up to get you to come feed her anxiety.

I would NOT have music playing all night long. That keeps her brain going. Stop making sleep such a huge issue. Deep breathing takes THINKING. She needs to be bored enough to fall asleep. Give her a boring book, maybe a youth book about world history or something (sorry, that works for me - lots of dates and places and I'm out!) Tell her that if she wakes up, she can read this book. Have a low watt lamp beside the bed that has JUST enough light to read by, but isn't a big deal if she falls asleep with it on. Don't sit in there with her. Tell her that you're very, very tired and she needs to do this by herself.

Hope you're both getting some sleep soon.

Dawn

I've never been a good sleeper, so instead of getting frustrated when I wake up at night, I read myself back to sleep. Not such a bad habit, if you compare it to screaming and becoming dependent on you being with her to fall back to sleep. Get her a small reading light that she can turn on when she wakes and a pile of books that she's interested in. She will learn to let her mind relax, get absorbed by the story and fall back to sleep on her own, instead of getting upset because she's awake. Also, maybe remove any clocks from her room, as staring at the time passing only makes sleeplessness more frustrating.
Good luck!

I can sympathize with her (and you). I think I was that age when I had a bout of insomnia. I remember my older sister reading to me. I got over it but always have been anxious about falling asleep. Not that youre not trying but I'd get some books on the topic as if you can reverse this fear of hers, it'll help her for life. Easier said than done of course. But one thought is a placebo. Tell her you're giving her something, see if it helps and then maybe tell her she really didn't need anything? I'm not an expert but I'm trying to think of how to train her mind she doesn't need anything. I'd also be tempted to just let her see she won't die if she does t sleep well. Dont expect much of her if shes not sleeping well but let it happen. Or can she miss a bit of school? can that suffer for a bit? I know that I always fall asleep better when I don't think i have to get up the next day. I wonder if as a kid, I just didn't sleep for a week, if I'd gotten over this. Not literally a week but not as much as usual. Anyway, not much help. Sorry. But there must be literature on this.

My daughter is a bookworm, because it's hard for her to fall asleep too. We finally have the routine down where she reads for a while and I check in every 20 min or so to let her know I'm here and let her know she needs to wrap it up. She reads for about 45 min to an hour before she's tired. If she's really having trouble sleeping, I sit on her bed for a few minutes. I don't have to do that very often, but if I do it usually means she'll be asleep within 20 min. Both of my kids seem to think they have tried to fall asleep when it's only been 5 min. It takes longer to fall asleep than that, but they asume they can't sleep. It cracks me up.

If you can let your daughter know she can read for a bit and then you'll check on her every 10 min., you might manage to get her comfortable with you just checking on her every now and then. I had to start with every 5 min and work up to now..she likes it when I peek in, but if I don't it's okay, since she has learned to comfort herself.

I was going to suggest Melatonin, but since you tried that, I am stumped. Melatonin works WONDERS for my kids! I would go crazy without it. My son is also 9, and I give him 3 mg of Melatonin. How many mg. of Melatonin did you give your daughter? 3 should do it. Also, it needs to be given to her 2 hours before bedtime - it takes a while to get into the system. If you didn't give it to her 2 hours in advance, I hightly recommend trying it again. She should go to bed no later than 8:00, so try giving her Melatonin at 6:00.

You said she sees someone for her anxiety. Is she on any medication for it? If so, the medication could be keeping her up at night - but the Melatonin should take care of that.

Is it a comfortable temperature in your house? Not too hot, not too cold? Are her feet cold at night? Put socks on her feet, perhaps. (I must sleep with socks on).

Please try Melatonin again - it really should work! If 3 mg two hours before bedtime does not work, maybe you can try 3.5 (just cut a 1 mg in half). Good luck!

Hi, C.W.:

Does your child drink anything with caffeine in it?

Maybe check to see if she has any allergies.
Good luck.
D.

Chamomile Tea.
My daughter likes Chamomile Tea. At night. before bed.
I do too.
In Europe, it is very common with parents/kids.

My daughter is 10.
And frankly, the more tired she is, the harder of a time she has falling asleep. SO, at those times, I tell her she just needs to go to bed earlier. Because yes, she DOES know she is tired/sleepy. She knows her own cues.

Or, massage your daughter's feet.
My daughter, LOVES that, and it relaxes her, and helps her to fall asleep when she can't. And while I am massaging her feet, I tell her to close her eyes and just empty her head.
My daughter does not like, to listen to music at bedtime. For some people, listening to music at bedtime is not useful. It just gets them more stimulated and awake. Personally, having any music, just irks me when I am trying to sleep.

Also, she is a Tween. Tweens are from 9-12 years old. They are going through a ton of changes, both physically and cognitively and emotionally. So age related tweaks happens.

Also, is she getting enough calcium? And magnesium? These 2 go hand in hand, and can help a person sleep and be less stressed.
For example: http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Vitality-Raspberry-Lemon-Fl...
Natural Calm. Which I even take sometimes.

Or, get her a book light, and let her read a book before bed.
Both my kids have book lights that I got from Barnes and Noble.
Let her, decide, what is calming for her before bed.
And BEFORE bed, make the house dark. Just turn OFF everything, except for 1 lamp. That is what I do with my kids. Because it keels them down. Before bed. If not they just remain, so, active.

Our house-managers take Melatonin on their nights off. It's the substance that our bodies produce to put us to sleep. I suggest you talk to someone who is experienced in this area because I have no idea if it's even safe for children to take. I would imagine she needs something to calm her down to sleep.

Perhaps her doc can give her something that will help her relax enough to doze off quicker.

Warm milk helps you sleep.

My 10 YO GD also has trouble sleeping. To the point that she has missed many days of school because she is simply exhausted in the mornings. I have started giving her 1.5 mg of melatonin 30 minutes before bedtime. Then she lays in bed and reads for that 30 minutes. More often than not, she closes the book and turns out the light before the 30 minutes is up because her eyes want to close. Yippee!

So try melatonin with warm milk, and 30 minutes of reading while laying in bed and see if that doesn't help. Also, a warm bath and a small snack before she goes in might also help.

BTW, I would put a quick end to the screaming. I understand she is anxious and frustrated but she needs to learn to handle it a bit better. She really doesn't have the right to wake up the entire household - she can just quietly come get you.

Have you tried essential oils? I suffer from insomnia too and essential oils have really helped me. I'm so sorry you are all dealing with this! I hope it gets better soon!

Our 13 y.o. DD has used melatonin on and off again for 7 years now thanks to inheriting her father's apparent inability to sleep. Ever. I know you've tried it, but are you using the right dosage? Check with your doctor to see what level he recommends and what level you can safely go up to. My DD is 110 pounds and takes 6 mgs on the nights she can't sleep. This was approved by her doctor.

The other thing we stress is that just because she isn't asleep doesn't mean she isn't benefiting from laying there. "Resting" doesn't require you to be unconcious. You just need to lay still, close your eyes, and relax. And that can be just as good as sleep. Well, that's what we stress anyway, and it helps remove a lot of the anxiety for her.

I have been there too with my son at that age. Melatonin stopped working after a couple days. Benedryl gave him nightmares but it helps me every night. There is a tea I get at Walmart called Nighty Night and its pretty good. I know it's troubling to have to use something but sometimes they just get on a tare and you have to break the cycle.