D.B.
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Charlotte
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My daughter started throwing this awful tantrums at about 6 months old, they went away by around 7 months and now theyre back!! All i have to do is tell her no really calmly, she gets angry and starts shaking her head no. after a minute of that she goes into this unbelievable crying spree which ends with her banging her head on the floor, biting me, pinching me and scratching me she also sometimes like to poke me in the eyes (if i pick her up that is). Today shes taken it to a new level and actually spit at me. where she learned how to spit i dont know but i wasnt impressed. I picked her up so i could put her in her crib as sort of a punishment but really nap time is in about 20 mins anyways and she did it a second time.
what in the world is going on with my little girl? shes only 9 months and isnt supposed to know this kind of stuff.. shes never been around any of this behavior unless shes seen it in daycare. I dont know how to get it to stop, i almost popped her on the butt today and i really dont believe in that unless its because she was doing something that could REALLY hurt her.
Thank ya'll so much for your responses! gonna start trying them out tomorrow, I've always tried to teach her things we can do instead of what she does since i dont want to be the parent thats always telling their child no but sometimes i just have to use that word. Her daycare has told me that she acts like an angel there, plays well, takes naps during nap time, eats just fine so on and so forth, apparently her interaction with other kids is "amazing". Hopefully one of these solutions will work for me.
by the way, to the response reguarding the harsh chemicals causing an emotional reaction, I no longer use anything out of the oridnary to clean my house, no bleaches or strong smelling chemicals since i dont want to keep them in the house any longer. my 9 month old has been in EVERYTHING and i cant seem to keep her out of cabinets child proof lock or not.
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Interesting, my only suggestion is to not use the word "no" rather rephrase and redirect her when she's doing something you dont' want her to. So maybe if she's doing something she shouldn't - putting something dirty in her mouth for example, say "here sweetie, that one is dirty, you can play with this one, and give her another more appropriate chew item..." Try to phrase things differently and see if she reacts differently. You could also ask if she behaves this way at day care... and maybe stop in there one day to observe... finally, you could ask the pediatrician for her/his thoughts. Good luck! Sounds like a strong willed little one!
I agree that if you direct her toward what she CAN do, or show her (playfully is good) how to do something the right way, she will probably feel less thwarted. That worked great for my daughter and now for my grandson. Neither threw tantrums that early, but both would hit themselves or throw themselves on the floor in abject despair on occasion.
You might also try communicating with her the way Dr. Harvey Karp (The Happiest Toddler on the Block) demonstrates here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ1428uYs2g&NR=1&a.... .
One additional thought. I'm sensitive to common household chemicals, cleaners, scented laundry products and air fresheners (many of these are actually toxic, but most people don't react to everyday levels). When I get even small exposures, my emotional state becomes extremely hard to manage, plus I feel physically terrible. I've been in group testing situations and watched calm children go ballistic within a few minutes of having minute amounts of some diluted chemical squirted under their tongues. If you use any scented or powerful wonder products in your home, you might experiment with bagging them up and using the non-toxic wonder cleaners vinegar or baking soda for two weeks. You may see a calmer child.
Good luck.
to add to what D M. says..keep things positive. If she's using something in the wrong way instead of saying don't do that, say this is how you use that. Yesterday my son (13months) keeps wanting to stand up in his toddler tub so instead of saying "don't stand up", I said "we sit in the tub (placed his butt down), we splash in the tub (made splashes), we play with our toys in the tub (squirted him with a toy), we wash in the tub (washed his belly with some tickles in there too)." This helped re-direct his attention from the not so safe behavior to something postive, and he stopped (at least for the day) trying to stand up in the toddler tub.
For temper tantrums I've always followed the belief that what you ignore will pass, what you give attention to will stick around. If you remove your attention she may not get the satisfaction out of the behavior. This behavior does sound pretty dramatic and I agree with D M. you should consult a DR about this. Maybe you could get a refferal to a child psychologist that help parents re-direct negative behavior.
Also agreeing with D M. I would ask the day care if she has behaved this way or if any of the other children have behaved this way.
my daughter did that, and i tried the below suggestions. but she still wouldn't stop. i wound up wrapping her in a blanket as if a infant tying her hands and feet down and even made it hard for her to move her head; holding her head in my elbow and cradling her in my arms so she couldn't move at all withouth wearing herself out, and just held her there until she tantrumed her self asleep or stopped. i then turned on the tv and "ignored her" while she was trying to fight her way out of her wrap. probably not a perfered method, but it worked and kept her from hurting me, or herself (head hittign on the wall, pulling her hair out, etc, yeah she did all that) took me about a year off and on but it got better until it stopped all together.
she soon learned neg actions will not get her any attention at all
