My 9-year old does not swear, but she's picked up the habit of mouthing the swear word or using a near word. Like she said "Get the farking cat out of here!"
I say that both are inappropriate, just because she doesn't SAY the word doesn't mean she's not swearing because the meaning is coming across loud and clear. Also, she's 9 and I think that's way too early to even be using near words.
It also bothers me that the word she's mouthing or replacing is the F-word. I would not be upset over "What the heck?" or "Darn it!"
My husband says that because she's not actually saying the word, it's okay.
What kinds of rules do you have in your house? I plan on having a talk with her that using swear words makes people think that she is not smart enough to find a better word. And also, other parents will not allow their kids to play with her if her friends start picking up those habits from her. She will be known as a bad influence.
I'm with you. Heck and darn are fine, f-anything is not. I have suggested to my daughters that they may use more inventive words as substitutes. Just today I heard (screamed at the top of my 8-year old's lungs to her sister), "You are such a CUPCAKE! Get your petunia out of my room!" (Of course then little sister shouted, "Mommmmmmy! She called me a cupcake!") Uggggh.
I agree with you 100%. My whole family has a nasty mouth. I WISH someone would have said those things to me when I was a kid. I actually just had a boyfriend say what you plan on saying to your daughter, to me a couple of years ago----and then I realized I had been making myself look like an idiot for all of those years. It's always a good motivator when you bring attention to what other people think of a behavior (from age 5 and up).
No swear words or near words. period. When grandchild uses such a word their parents stop them and they are required to say, I'm sorry. IF they didn't comply they'd be sent to their room until they could come out and say sorry.
My daughter has talked with them about reasons for not using swear words in a calm and educational manner. Your reasons are all valid.
I'm with you on this one. I'm not as upset like you said about "darn it", etc. But using any adjective in a negative mannor like that is not ok. I have a 9 year old girl as well, so I feel ya. I might be upset if she used words like this as well, and yes, personally, I would think that she would be being a bad influence using "language" like that.
i'm with you. it's unpleasant when kids use words that are clearly replacements for even uglier words. 'not quite as ugly' doesn't cut it..
i love catherine's method, and it's similar to what we did here when the boys were smaller. 'goshalldarnit' is a good one. making up ridiculous words is way more fun and less offensive than using pseudo-swear words.
khairete
S.
Ha! My boys do that too! They will say "What the BLEEP" ! And use bleep in place of what they want to say. I tell they it is the same as using the swear.
Do people really still think that? I consider myself a very intelligent person and I swear alot when I am mad. I believe it is more habit than anything else.
As for the kiddos, mine used to make a bleeping sound, which I thought was funny until they got outta hand with it. Then it went to pseudo-swear words like "fricking" or "freakin". I personally felt those were acceptable because it was jst like saying "Get that STINKIN cat outta here!" They can do that as long as it's not every other word. Of course mine are teens now...LOL
