8 Yr Old DD Afraid in the House

My daughter has been like that since she was a baby. She is almost 10 years old now, and I still have to go with her whenever she goes anywhere or does anything. It was getting better for a while there, but she's since digressed. Every once in a while she'll just automatically go and do something on her own, but that's only in a blue moon. We have tried many different tactics, but nothing seems to work. We bought a new house, so we don't have an old and scary house either. My husband's mother is scared of the dark, but that doesn't seem to be my daughter's problem. It gets old very fast. However, if we don't go with her, then she gets stubborn and won't do anything or go anywhere. I'll be watching for other comments in hopes someone has an idea as to how to get this to stop.

I was a nanny for a child who went through this as well. He was about the same age as your daughter (I think at the time he was 6 1/2 - 7yrs). It became very frustrating because he wouldnt even go to the bathroom on his own! I think the important thing to remember is that you want to support your daughter so she doesn't feel so scared but at the same time you don't reassure her that there IS something to be afraid of by going everywhere with her. For example, tell her that you understand that she is afraid to (for example) go to her bedroom on her own but there really is no reason for her to be afraid. I use to "compromise" with the child I nannied for. When he needed to go upstairs to his bedroom to get something and he was afraid to do so by himself, I would go upstairs with him but stay at the top of the stairs while he walked down the hall to his bedroom, got what he needed and met me back at the stairs. As time went on and he became comfortable I would then go halfway up the stairs, wait there while he went to his room and then he'd meet me and we'd go back downstairs together. The next step was to go to the stairs and wait at the bottom while he went up the stairs and down the hall to his bedroom, got what he needed and came back down. You can see the method here and continue on until she is confindent enough to do everything on her own. Best wishes!

Im not sure if you believe in this kind of thing, but your daughter may be sensitive to spirits. Talk to her about why she is scared, and really listen, even if what she says doesn't make sense to you (i.e. if she tells you she sees or senses spirits or whatever other word she uses to describe it).

Make sure you understand what it is she is afraid of and deal with that issue. If she is afraid there is a stranger hiding in the house, make a daily ritual of checking the house to assure her no one is there, have her walk with you to lock the doors, etc. Give her a flashlight and something else she can walk with that make her feel safer. As for the mom who said she may be sensitive to spirits, my understanding is (if you belive in this) that kids who can sense spirits are usualy NOT afraid of them

My daughter does not have fear to that extreme...but she is wary of going upstairs by herself, being left upstairs by herself, etc. We have a dog and I often tell her to take the dog with her, or to keep the dog upstairs with her and that helps. -- Also, no more scary shows. With that documentary, you cannot even tell your daughter that it was make believe! Watch happy lighthearted age-appropriate options.

piegirls,

Well since Daddy watch a totally unappropriated documentary with her. Tell your DD to get Daddy every single time she needs to go to another room. I would start telling her that you are busy, will meet her where she needs to go. Slowly she will get better. Its a horrible fear thinking that someone will hurt you in your own home. Your husband should have known better. Good luck!

I think you need to help your DD face her fears. You could always ask her to go to one of those rooms, she usually is afraid to go to, and talk to her while she's doing it by herself. Tell her that you're there if she needs you and your voice should reassure her it's ok, and there is nothing scary.
my 5 year old does this from time to time. I don't mind going with her but i think if i don't address it it will only get worse. So there are times when she asks me to accompany her to the bathroom, I tell her I am right here, you go along, and I talk to her the entire time. She's not sure but she walks off by herself talking to me the entire time.
good luck

Whether or not you live in a scary old house your house could still be haunted. There may have been a structure there 100+ years ago the haunting is from that time period. However I doubt if that is the issue here.
She needs reassuring that there is no source for her fear. She is safe in her own home. You can do any number of things a house blessing by a minister, burn sage ( it releases negative energy), keep night lights in every room so she can see as soon as she enters the room. I would go with her and stay by the door reassuring her she is okay. After a few days stop a few steps outside the room and keep assuring her. Eventually she will be reassured that she is safe.
I know you may not believe in the paranormal but I am a psychic/medium and have been since childhood. She could be picking up on something in your home. It's scary as a child to have this ability you feel things and don't know why. I am happy to offer any advice you may need.

i think the girls have got it right so far - it's not a laughing matter and needs adressed with love and logic. as far as the hubby thing goes - he needs to be helping with the hopping up every few minutes too. dd should be encouraged to hang with daddy as much as mommy. then maybe he'd be more willing to help instead of blowing off your concerns.