My Son Is Scared All the Time!

My girls went through a scared stage too. We used two strategies that worked: the "Night Fairy," who is the cousin of the Tooth Fairy, would come and leave a small gift for them if they spent the entire night in their bed. Her job is to help little boys and girls learn to sleep alone. The gifts were small - a piece of candy, stickers, goody bag type stuff, but sometimes they were bigger. This went on for 2 months. We also give the girls hot water bottles at night - there are adorable ones online for kids - and it's instant comfort when going to bed. They hug them and fall right to sleep. Good luck!

Does he have a night light? Have you tried playing soft music or a book on CD for him? Perhaps a flash light he can turn on in the middle of the night. Be sure there are as few shadows as possible in his room. My daughter was afraid to be alone and I gave her a doll that lights up when you push on her stomach. This helped.

Try talking with him in a sympathetic manner about his fears. Perhaps find a book at the library about this situation. It is fairly common for children to go thru this stage. Perhaps tell a story about a situation similar to his and have him give input into the story. When the character is afraid, ask him what the character could do to feel better, for example.

This may just be a matter of finding a way to help him feel more comfortable being alone. I suggest that this has become a habit that can be broken with compassionate firmness.

If he's frightened much of the time and not only at bedtime, I suggest that you talk with a counselor.

How long ago did you move to the 2 story house? It might take your son several, several months to feel comfortable with all of the changes that a move brings.

I recommend getting some amibent lighting all around your house. You can get decorative table lamps in many shapes, turtles, lighthouses, ect that take a nightlight bulb. I use those and strings of lights, holiday lights in red, purple, orange and clear. I have a fake tree made with a real branch and orange silk leaves with orange lights weaved through the branches. A strand of patio lights that look like butterflies and dragonflies. I am not afaid of the dark but I live alone and if something wakes the dogs or I have to get up for a potty call in the middle of the night I don't need to turn on any lights my rooms are all dimly lit all of the time.

I also suggest simply talking to him. Remind him that nothing has happened and he is safe in his home. If he will go to the top of the stairs and just stand there a few minutes. You can then reassure him that he was completely safe. Each day try to get him to go upstairs and venture a little further. Each time he does tell him how proud you are of him and again reassure him he is safe.

If that doesn't work I suggest a counselor. He can talk it all out with a counselor. But he needs to get to he bottom of his fear.

I agree with the nightlight or leaving a hall light on all night. We have two girls, separate rooms and leaving the hall light on all night works. One of my daughters, who is more afraid gets up in the muddle of the night and turns on her night light, I guess sometimes she needs that. One daughter likes her closet door open and one wants it closed. It really is trial and error to see what it's going to take. Our girls still end up in our beds sometimes, but it is usually because of a storm or bad dream. Good luck!

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My son is the same way. At 9 years old he can't sleep by himself, so him and his sister share a room, he jumps at noises and screams. Storms make him break down and weep shivering in a corner. darkness, new places, being alone all scare him. He has never got any better and has always been this way, so it is normal for him. You have to look at your family history - My husband is a lot like this also, very anxious, his father is also, it has passed down the line.
With my son he needed a lot of reassurance, and still does, so maybe you can get him someone or something in his room at night for company. a sibling, a kitty, a hamster or a fish or something. Put a cot at the end of your bed and tell him he can come in, but he can't wake you. He is just a softy like my son, they need a bit extra.

My 5 year old is the same way. We leave his door open and a hall light on all night so his room has a lot of light. We close our bedroom door since I can't sleep with that much light, but I know my little guy checks to see if we are in our room at night and early morning, and if he knows we are close by, then he will go back to bed on his own, he just needs some reasurance. Although, I think my husband's snoring is reasurrance alone. Good luck.

Night light?? That seems to work for the majority of kids. I am an only child and to this day don't like going to sleep by myself in the dark, and I'm 35 yrs old with a 3 and 5 year old-LOL. I used to fall asleep with the lights on or the tv on every night because of it. Since he's 8, I am recommending something that doesn't seem like a nightlight that we got for out 5 year old, it's a Star Wars Light Saber that you attach to the wall and it changes colors and there's a remote for it, and it turns off after 15 minutes by itself. Got it at Toys R US. Good luck

A nightlight is helpful.

I know HE doesn't watch scary things on TV but what about when you're watching TV and a trailer for a scary movie comes on? I immediately change the channel.

Talk to him & see if anything is scaring him. If so, it can be helpful to let him know you are right there, he is safe & have him look under the bed & in the closet before you put him to bed reassuring him. Tuck him in w/a kiss & you can still stay at the end of his bed.

This phase will surely pass.

My son will not go to bed if there is no light in the room and not music on. Up until recently he would not even go to sleep if his brother that is 3 1/2 years older was not in there. Which I didn't like that my oldest had to go to bed at the same time as his little brother as he is old enough to stay up later. I woudl say it's pretty normal.

Good luck and God Bless!