8 Yr Old Birthday Ideas...

WOW.... first of all, the audacity of your SIL to tell you when to have your daughter's Bday is not appropriate. With that said, I do have a few people in my life that I have to hold my tongue and make dumb concessions for so I feel for you.

7 years old is old enough to be in on a decision like this. My son just turned 8 and while I normally don't give him more than A or B decision making power, I did give him some creative reign over his birthday and it turned out wonderful. I would use this as a great teaching opportunity with your daughter. In a positive way, let her know that there is a scheduling issue with her birthday and her cousins dance recital and ask her what she would like to do about it. Give her all the options you mentioned above, without editorializing how you feel about your SIL's request and see what your daughter wants to do.

If she is ok with her cousins not attending the BIG party on her birthday and wants to do something special later, she'll tell you. Either way, it is not your SIL's decision, and you shouldn't have to be put in the position to decide between your daughter and niece.

Maybe I need another cup of coffee, but really, it's Aug, 2010 and you are fretting over a party for May 2011? Anything could happen between now and then. Perhaps for some reason you niece drops out of dance, rehearsals get moved b/c the whole class gets the flu. Maybe some fabulous party place opens up in the next 9 MONTHS and kind of decides the date for you.

I know that my daughter would be crushed to miss a cousin's Bday. We try to scope out schedules and set a date that is clear for the majority. Would you schedule a party for yourself when you BFF could not attend? It might also be easier for you to just have one party and then be done with it. Also, many parties are on a child's UNbirthday just for scheduling reasons. You would never have a sleepover on a school night, for instance....or a party when half the class is at a soccer tournament.

Yeah...sorry..I stopped reading at the point where someone was trying to tell YOU how & when to have your daughter's birthday party! The nerve.
Face it, lots of kids have parties and often someone (or more) can't make it because of other commitments. Seriously, I would send the niece & nephew an invitation and then they can decide what to do when they rsvp like everyone else!

Hi T., I am going to be in the minority on this one, but I think you should try to make it an other weekend so the cousins can come. Not to make it easier on the adults, but for all the kids, yours included. I have a large family and group of friends and we always clear the dates with the majority and schedule B-day parties so everyone can attend. This is no small feat but so worth it. In fact we had to change my son's party at last minute last year because my nephew had a make up football game on the 1st date we had chosen. See if your daughter would mind 2 birthday weekends. 1 with just your household and one kids party. My son would be devastated if he missed one of his cousins parties and vice versa.

Friday birthday parties are hard for working parents... just saying.

What I have done in the past is to have a family party the night that works best for most of the family, and then had a friends party on either Sat. or Sun. for the other kids. Last year I had a party 3 weeks prior to my son's birthday, because that was the closest opening at the party place. That's where I wanted his party, so that's when we had the party.

From reading the post, it may just be that the kids want to come to the party so that they can get a party bag. So I would have a dinner with them when it works for them, and take 2 party favor bags for the kids.

M.