8 Yo with Bad Dreams

Updated on October 22, 2008
D.L. asks from Conesus, NY
9 answers

Hi All,
My 8 yo daughter has been waking up almost every night having bad dreams...sometimes I can get her to go back to sleep in her own bed (I flip her pillow over to the good dream side) but often she says that she can't go back to sleep unless she's in my bed or unless I sleep with her in her bed. She is too old for this, especially on a regular basis. I've asked her what the bad dreams are about but she can never remember. Any suggestions???

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D.H.

answers from New York on

My son was 8 when he started having bad dreams. A Native American friend gave him a dream catcher. We explained all about the dream catcher. He's now 13, still has the dream catcher hanging over his bead and rarely has bad dreams. When he does have one we shake all the bad dreams out of the dream catcher to clean it and make room for more.

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M.M.

answers from New York on

Sorry to hear about the sleeping problem. My 7 year old has bad dreams that wake her up and then she can't get the image out of her head and go back to sleep. A few things seemed to have helped her out: 1)soothing music playing on the stereo. It seems to calm her and help her relax to go to sleep. 2) My daughter and I made a collage of pictures of angels and put it up on her wall. She looks to the angels to watch over her and keep her safe. 3)When she calls for me I will go in and tell her to close her eyes and imagine happy times - playing in the leaves in the yard, making a snowman, hiking in the woods and bird watching. I will talk to her in a very calm soothing tone and try to help her visualize happy memories and images. 4) Reading in bed. Sometimes reading her Highlights magazie by the nightlight helps get her mind off things and she is able to fall asleep.

I hope some of this helps.

sincerely,
M.

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P.B.

answers from New York on

You should rule out anything negative or 'bad' at school, or any time she has spent with adults other than you. Be sure there isn't anybody who could be telling her scary stories or 'over stepping' boundaries in any way.
After these things are ruled out, try warm milk about an hour before bed time. I know this sounds so old-fashioned, but it worked for my son at about that age. Also make sure she goes to the bathroom right before she gets into bed (and I mean right then). She could be waking to go to the bathroom and having a hard time getting back to sleep.

GOOD LUCK!
P. P.

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N.D.

answers from New York on

Try getting a dream catcher and tell her the reason behind them. Hang it over her bed. Also try to find out what is bothering her in her waking life. Perhaps a teacher intimidates her or there is a bully in her class or she is stressing over some class work. Talking about her fears will help make her dreams better. Also teaching her to think pleasant thoughts before drifting off will help. instead of worrying about the next day, teach her to think of floating on a lake or skipping through a meadow, etc.

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C.H.

answers from New York on

The first thing I would really try to di is figure out what the dreams are about. That would relly make it easier to comfort her and try to eliminate (if possible) whatever is bothering her.
Now for the wives tale. My grandmother (now 84 yrs old) always told me as a child not to eat anything sweet before bed and to drink two mouth fulls of water right before bed. I am not sure the meaning of all this, but it worked and to this day I have to have two mouthfuls of water before bed.
Another thing to try is reading her half of a book. I id this with my 7 year old, becasue he had trouble falling asleep. I would read him half of a book and then he would lay in bed and try to figure out how the story ended and id actually made him fall asleep. t might help her if she falls asleep thinking of something pleasant. Good Luck!

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A.D.

answers from New York on

I had a lot of bad dreams as a kid, and one thing that helped was a nighttime routine where my dad would check in on me, say good night, and tell me "sweet dreams". I always had trouble falling asleep, I would repeat in my mind, "sweet dreams A. or no dreams at all" over and over as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep. The routine helped, but it was a little stressful if my dad was at a late meeting and not there to check in and say sweet dreams.

I don't think any of us ever got in bed with my parents, but my one brother would drag his sleeping bag into their room and sleep on the floor. That may be something you could try to wean her from needing to be in bed with you, but it does set you up for lack of privacy in your own room. I was the oldest of 3, eventually my mom had my brother with the travelling sleeping bag heading for my room instead of theirs.

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J.E.

answers from Rochester on

Any new toys or objects in her room?

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M.N.

answers from New York on

My son - who is now 10 - also went through this last year. I think this is a common age for kids to start thinking about "bad guys" etc . Sleep is important to me - so I put a sleeping bag on the floor of our bedroom and if he woke up from a bad dream and couldn't go back to sleep he would come in and sleep on our floor in the sleeping bag. It was comforting to have us close by. It worked for us and now he is back in his own bed again.

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M.K.

answers from New York on

take her socks off,

tell her the reason she is having bad dreams is because of the socks,

also the dream catcher is a great thing, i used one for my son,

And singing a song also works,

sing it no more than 5 to 7 times, and if she hasn 't relaxed after that then you tuck her in and say goodnight,

Do not bring her into your bed,
and do not sleep with her.

she will cry a little but she is old enough to know where you are, and that she is ok.

its ok to leave a light on,

in the morning she may be tired, thats ok she goes to school anyways, and goes to bed early if needed.

And last resort--- i tell our dog to get in bed.
or a cat.

even if they dog sleep in the bed, closing them inside her room can be comfort enough.

M

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