8 Year Old Who Is Lying a Lot Lately

Well, I would focus on talking it out and not punishing first. Why does he feel that he needs to not tell the truth? Does he get in trouble if he gets up early and makes noise? Could he be angry aqbout something and is acting out? It seems there could be a deeper issue at his age. I think a 3 year old is testing boundries - an 8 year old has a better understanding of consequence and may be avoiding something or acting out because of some deeper issue. If there is no deeper issue then getting in trouble is probably a better route to take. I hope all ends up ok!!

Wow you expect an 8 year old to know to the minute what time he woke up? It isn't lying it is simply being unaware of the fact that he woke up at exactly 5:56 and 25 seconds. That is not even a fib it just seems like you expect him to be extremely anal retentive at a very young age. Kids exaggerate and guess and round up a lot. If he says he ate 6 pieces of pizza and you know he only ate 2 is he a "liar"? He isn't lying about petty things you are getting upset with him about things that are simply petty.

It will stop being an issue if you tweak your perspective of what is lying and what is being a kid.

I had the same problem with my son when he was 8. He is 10 now and not so much of an issue. The small stuff will lead to more serious stuff if its not taught that some lies can be hurtful while others are not. We tried a trick I found on a parenting site. We got a jar and every time my son lied and we caught him (which wasnt hard), he had to put a quarter in the jar out of his allowance. Also, for every good deed he did, not being told to, but on his own, he got to take a quarter back out. Eventually he figured out that he got rewarded more for the good things. He outgrew the lying to a point. Its not as noticable, but kids will always lie when they know they are doing something bad. You just have to make sure he understands that for every time he does something wrong, there will be a punishment. My son now gets privleges taken away. Such as no TV, no video games, no friends over, etc.

I hear you there. Mine is only 3 and she is starting already. I'm curious as to what to do. I'm anxious to hear from others moms too.

I agree with Tracie to an extent. We had a problem with our boy too. I took favorite things away and made him stay in his room. We also told him updated moral stories about the Boy Who Cried Wolf. I went overboard with the punishment (the taking things and sending him to his room). I was pushing and he was pushing right back and things did not improve. Eventually I lessened the punishments and things improved. I was so upset thinking my sweet, wonderful, smart boy was a liar! We have seen improvements with his behavior. I think you just have to be patient and stay on him. Good luck.

i have 4 children 24,21,7,4 years old. it sounds like he knows it bothers you. dont take this wrong but i am probably just like you. looking back over the years, i am very persistant, when i ask a question i exspect an answer. my child is 7 and lying about dad not getting her up for school on time. he only made her late once. now she says it all the time. i just gave her a lecture, and decided it is taking to much energy to ride her. so i just started taking away things she likes, if she wants to lye. i always give them one chances with a warning of what i will do first. dont sweat the little things because if they know you get mad they will do it more. if he is your husbands child from a previous marriage he might be just getting a rise out of you. my husband had his exwife boy living with us at 13 and he did everything he could to tick me off. i finally said (it is him or me). i am still married and his son is now 22 and still a jerk. he might think he can do what he wants because you are not his mom. goodluck sorry if this went to long.

Having been the step-daughter as well as the step-mother on this issue, I can tell you if you make it a big issue so will your step-son.

Using your example, my reply would have been "I'm not entirely sure that is accurate. Next time, can you take a better look at the clock and let me know?" OR "Hmmmmm, oooookkkkk, what having you been doing with yourself this whole time?" The last one's answer will give you a better idea of how long he has been awake by what he has been doing.

Basically at this age, children in general are looking to see what lies/fibs you will believe. If you just voice the fact you know they are not telling you 100% truth but don't blow it out of proportion, they tend to slow down with the petty lies/fibs and eventually stop. Until they are teens, of course! LOL!

Using you example again, if you need to know what time he gets up so you can try to be alert to what he is doing for safety reasons, maybe your reply could be "I just wanted to know because I should have been awake so much earlier. And I thought if you got up before me, then you could help by calling out to me if I am not already awake when you get up."

If it just bugs you to no end and you need to resolve this, then sit down with the whole family and decide together what the consequences will be if someone lied/fibbed bout getting up in the morning versus having homework done. Some people just can't tolerate any kind of lie/fib and that's fine as long as the discipline is not the same for something petty and something more important.

I was having this problem with my 9 year old. We tried everything finally we took away his favorite thing which was his gameboy for a week and sent him to bed early for a week as well as the day we caught him he spent the rest of the day in his room. we have not had much of an issue with him lying since