8 Year Is Just Rude to His Dad

i can understand someone getting on your nerves, but it sounds like at this point it's time for discipline if he can't be respectful. have you tried just plain old time outs? make a rude comment, 8 minutes in time out. he's a big boy, if you stick with it he's bound to get it. you really have to stick to your guns tho - or rather you and dad do. it sounds like dad is really the one who needs to be firm and establish some parental authority, for some reason he's letting this kid walk all over him on this. people (and kids) will treat you how you allow them to. sounds like this has been allowed for quite awhile. it will take consistency and discipline. and in my opinion, although you say he's usually a pretty "nice" kid, your son can't have too much respect for you either if he's doing it in front of you, which makes me wonder why he's "good" for you, whether it's bribery or what. i feel like if there was true discipline and respect he would not act out like this. of course, occasionally all kids act out...but if it's constant then you both need to put your foot down with him. parents nowdays seem often unwilling to put in the hard work and would rather just be 'friends' with their kids. i don't feel the answer is bringing in someone else to do your job, i feel the answer is, put your foot down, and be the parent.

This behavoir should not be accepted. Dad needs to step up and apply some pressure to the rear end.

Otherwise sounds like son needs some counseling. Good Luck

I wonder if there is an underlying issue that is causing your boy to be rude to his father. Maybe you can approach him in a very calm manner and say, "I notice that you can be very rude to your father. You don't seem to be rude to anyone else. Do you know if there is a reason why you are being so rude to him? Are you upset with him in any way?" Who knows. There might be something your husband is doing to him that is making him mad. I know my son would be BEYOND rude to my husband. It was insane. But after seeing a behavior therapist for our son, my husband realized that he tended to tease our son to the point that it really bothered him. My husband stopped teasing my son and my son is hardly ever rude to him.

Maybe watch how your husband interacts with your son. What happens minutes before your son makes a rude comment? Does your husband instigate anything?

Good Luck. I know how frustating it can be to have your son be so rude to his own father.

Good Morning W., Hum What does dad do about this behavior? Rudeness to a parent is very uncalled for. He would get a very long TIME out(grounding) here if he did that to any of us, Another time out (grounding) if done again. Next would be loss of privileges would be next and he wouldn't get them back until he apologized sincerely and behavior changed. If he commented on his father at dinner time or any time, he would be asked to leave the table or the room.
He would of worked his little hinny off to replace my bush too.

May sound really harsh W., you gotta stop this immediately. I would of gotten my mouth washed out with soap if I ever talked about my parents like that. It's a lack of respect!!!

There wouldn't be any rewards either until I saw some long time improvement. Yeah he could do something really nice and expect something, then go right back to being hateful again.

A therapist would want to know WHY he is acting like this towards his dad. What has happened to have him behaving so disrespectfully? What does your son get out of acting like this?

I am afraid your son wouldn't like me very much W..
I sincerely pray you can get a handle on this before it goes any further.

God Be with you all and Bless you abundantly
K. Nana of 5
Merry Christmas & a Very Happy Calm New Year

He can't stand listening to his dad eat and it drives him crazy. He will yell at my husband/ his dad and have a fit every time he is chewing gum, eating snacks or making a noise. He is really only rude to his dad no one else.

This doesn't sound behavioral if he's only bothered by him eating or chewing gum. This sounds like sensory issues. You can have his dad's hand meet his behind all day long and that won't make it more tolerable for him. (What a silly suggestion!)

I would suggest an OT because he likely has other sensory issues. I would work with him on appropriate language like "Dad, when you chew it bothers me. Can you give me a warning so I can leave the room while you chew?" This isn't a long term solution by any means but it seems like your son's feelings have been thrown out the window for quite a while.

Hi W.,

I have a thought that works with my 5 and 6 year old. Whenever my son the 6 year old gets sassy or talks in a mean tone to his sister he has to give her a hug and kiss. He HATES to hug her because she is always wanting to hug him all the time and he gets embarrassed. When he says something mean, I just tell him, 'okay, give your sister a hug and kiss.' Today he did it 3 times before he stopped talking mean to her and the rest of the night they were best friends! My daughter LOVES it because she loves to get hugs and kisses even if it's a punishment! Just a thought. Good luck!!

D.

Dito, what Karen B. and Carrie B. said!!!!

I agree with you that he seems angry about something and should talk to someone.
Also, you and your husband need to come up with both a reward and punishment system for him. Reward him EVERY time he is kind to his dad and take away something EVERY time he is rude. It may take a few weeks to break the habit.
We do "circles" at our house. The circles are magnets that the children can put on a chart. They earn circles for good behavior and lose them for poor behavior. After a certain set timeperiod, we add up the circles and give money, small gifts, a trip to the ice cream store, etc. The charts are cleared and we begin again.
Best of luck! Merry Christmas!

I would definitely take him to see someone. It certainly won't hurt. Also watch your actions toward husband. Is he copying actions he is seeing in someone else? I know not a popular thought.

Hi W.,

As I'm sure you know already, this is something that must be overcome for your son to grow up to be a healthy, mature adult. As parents you need to work together to come up with a plan to help your son become responsible for his actions and words. Your son really needs to see that you and dad are agreed on discipline and that either one of you will follow through with the appropriate discipline when he misbehaves.

Focus on the Family has some wonderful parenting resources at http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/articles/parent...
they also offer some counseling services if you need help getting started.

I would also make sure that your home is free of name calling and teasing that hurts feelings. When our kids were small we would read Bible stories to them and use the stories as examples of good and bad behavior. Then we could talk about why we don't want to act bad or why being nice to others is good. A series of Bible story books that I think your children would love -- mine certainly did! -- is The Bible Story by Arthur S. Maxwell. He also wrote the series Bedtime Stories. These books were written many years ago but the art work and creative writing make them so interesting to kids and parents alike. He shares moral lessons with most stories -- they are excellent and can be found at Amazon and Ebay.

Get on the same page with Dad and stay consistent and I'm sure you will see your son's behavior improving soon!

You can do it!
A.

I would think your husband should be the one to take action here, not you. It sounds to me that your son is wanting your husband to care enough to discipline him. He needs to demand the respect the son should be giving him. I also wouldn't think more than time out may be needed for a short time. If you don't deal with this now it will be very much worse down the road. We had some good Christian books on character and emotions and moods and one is by the authors Coriell and one is on Amazon at this link.
http://www.amazon.com/Childs-Book-Character-Building/dp/0...
I would read anything like this with your son and talk about it. Also if you read the Bible there are good verses on honoring your parents, even if they eat loud, etc., and we know that is not the issue and that it's much deeper than that. So you could talk with him about what God expects of us as far as parents to as well as others. If your husband did this time with him each night it might be a good time to talk about what is really bothering him and discuss it.
I hope you can deal with this now and there are people who could help you and other books, one by Kevin Leman, for parents to read too, called Have a new kid by Friday. I haven't read that one but it might be worth reading.