My 8 month old son is very demanding at dinner time. As I feed him his babyfood, if I don't scoop it into his mouth quickly enough, he will yell at me. It's a very loud 1 second burst of displeasure accompanied by a mean look on his face, that he repeats over and over until I get more food in his mouth. He will also punch the tray of the highchair to express his frustration. Is this normal?
Last night when he was getting particularly obnoxious, I stopped feeding him for about five minutes. He yelled for about 4 minutes and then after he was quiet for a minute, I went back to feeding him. Did I successfully send a message to an 8 month old or was I just being mean by making him wait?
Thanks,
K.
My guy, now 19 months, did the same thing. He also stood up in his high chair to get attention. I used similiar tactics to show him this was not okay. Things improved when he could feed himself, then I could put a handful of something to keep him happy. Boys are definitely different!
I think what you did was great. He definately got a message. Kids, even at that young age have figured out ways to manipulate us. So you showed him that your are in charge and you don't appreiciate that behavior.
Hi K.!
To me it sounds like you handled your son perfectly last night. I don't think 8 months is too young to start sending the message that bad behavior doesn't get rewarded. If he's emotionally sophisticated enough to express his displeasure in those ways (yelling and thumping), then I suspect he's also old enough to be shown that those aren't the socially acceptable ways to get what he wants. :)
And I wouldn't worry too much about the yelling or thumping as a long-term problem. Neither of my kids did that particular behavior, but each one of them has had similar angry, demanding behaviors at different times, and each has grown out of them (as I'm sure your girls have, too!).
Congratulations on his impending adoption and all the best to you all! :)
C.
Dear K.:
Good for you! I have 3 lovely, strong-willed girls. We started discipline at a very early age by ignoring and NOT REWARDING unacceptable behavior. You are not doing your child any favors by constantly satisfying their needs immediately. Eventually they grow up to be demanding and unpleasant adults. (I'm sure we've all met those types...) They are never too young to learn that a pleasant attitude goes a long way to making life much easier.
By the way my girls are 11, 13 and 18. I was called mean (and other things) because I did not respond to what I felt was unacceptable behavior in my girls. Now, my girls are polite, helpful and kind to others. I can usually count on them to help around the house with a minimum of grouching. Is it a coincidence?
Stick to your guns.....If you aren't strong enough to teach your child how to get along with others, the world will. And you know what; the world won't be as gentle as you will.
Best of luck and remember this is one job that you'll never get a dime for, but the benefits are the best!
K.,
My 6.5 month old daughter does the same thing but she is this way at every meal. even if she hears me shaking her bottle she starts screaming her head off.I have treid what you've done but she stayed screaming the whole time she didn't stop. I was gonna make a post myself on this i hope you get more replies so i can figure something out. i swear my neighbors prolly think iam killing her at times lol
My first instinct says that he might be really hungry by dinner time roles around. This might not be the case but I would try adding a snack an hour or so before dinner and see if that makes a difference.
My kids used to do the same thing. My son was in daycare for several months before his first birthday. His teacher and I used to laugh because she would have 5 or 6 infants doing the same thing during breakfast and lunch. They sounded like a bunch of baby birds squawking.
I don't know if you taught your son a lesson. If he doesn't yell today, perhaps you did. It took a few months but my kids outgrew this behavior. Maybe they needed to develop trust that I was actually going to give them more food after each bite. I tried to distract them by talking to them and singing. I also tried to talk to them in a soft voice hoping that would calm them (of course at times I would lose my cool and join them - LOL). You might want to look for signs before feeding time that indicate he is feeling hunger pains. If he seems to be fussy before feeding time, maybe that is a cue to feed him a little earlier to ward off the hunger.
Hi there K.... maybe you could try to get one of those bowls that stick fast to the high chairs & put some babyfood in & show him that he could stick his fingers in & then into his mouth... once he finds that he can also feed himself, which does get messy.. he will occupy himself in between you feeding him.. i've tried many things, some work for others & some don't you try & let me know if it works for u... cya, Toni
