7 Yr Old Washing Up

I would take the messy look now that a teen needing to express them self. Let him develope his sense of style now than later. Not to say he won't try odd things. What is it say to him relationally? What he likes is something you don't like? Maybe you won't like him. What if this sends a message that you would be happer with him if he dressed like some else and you are unhappy with him? Would you want the behavior with out the heart? Would you rather him be unhappy if it meant you would be happy?

Me: Mother of two 17&13. I have wonderful kids I have gone through every color of hair, mohawks, bright green hats, mis-match everything. I have their hearts. They are respectful, thoughtful, caring, fun, loving, bright, wonderful, creative, talented, just to mention a few and I get compliments all the time on how well they get along. I have bondries on modesty and special events.
Hope this helps...

I would tell that they didn't want to be the stinky kid in class. If they don't care, I would tell them that I don't want to be the mom with the funky in class. I also bought my son a new brush&comb set, some cheap hair gel,and some cheesey body spray. It seemed to make him feel special about grooming. Kind of on the line of make-up for girls.I incorperated this into the morning routine. It worked for me.

brushing teeth and being clean are hygeine issues. Explain to him that they are necessary to keep his body healthy. Not a choice, in my opinion. As for hair combing, I care a lot less about it. He will start to care how he looks when his friends do, and it will be soon. Iwould let his hair go, unless it is really long, in which case I would tell him it would be cut short if he couldn't take care of it. But, my almost 5 year old girl takes care of her hair (and its halfway down her back), washing, brushing, conditioning, headbands, so it shouldn't be a problem.

i think it is not to ealry to start teaching your son. my 8 year old is not capable of "seeing" what needs to be done for his appearance. my husband i need to remind him. my 7 year old gilr is totally in to dressing for dinner and cleanliness. i let her pick her outfits, so they do not match or look put together, but she is happy and is learning.

unfortunatley people do judge you by you appearance. the positve side of that aspect is my kids take pride in themselves and feel more confidant when they feel like they look good. my nieghbor kid wanted to wear his school uniform out the other day when i complimented him on looking so handsom :)

I have four boys (12,8,8,and 4). They simply are not like we girls! We like matching clothes, nice hair, etc. The boys could care less! If they have clothes on (whether or not they match), they think that is great and enough in the hygiene department! My husband and I have to tell them to take showers or they probably would not do that either! Unless we are going to church or someplace special, I let them dress as they wish (within reason-no holes in the clothes, the clothes must be clean, and weather appropriate). We make them comb their hair before church and school too. They may fuss about it, but that is simply because at this age, their appearance is not really important to them. As they get older, they will care more (especially to attract girls). My eldest is already conscientious about deodorant, teeth brushing, his hair, and occasionally his clothes. Hang in there! It is just a part of having boys! K.

YES, it is very important to teach proper hygiene to your 7-year-old. ***Make time for it.*** Clean hair, teeth, and bodies smell clean and dirty ones smell dirty.

Tell, him that a clean body is a healthy body. It isn't about being perfect. Messy 7-yr-old hair is fine as long as it is clean. ;)

A daily bath is a good habit. You would be surprised how dirty little boys get each and every day.

It is also helpful to set good examples for your son.

Make an announcement to him. Say something like...
I am going to take my daily shower/bath now. I'll see you when I am fresh and clean! :)

Sometimes, letting him pick out HIS OWN nicely scented bath wash or soap and shampoo is helpful. The price of "big boy soap" is well worth it. ;)

Also, comment on how clean he looks and smells just after his bath rather than how dirty he looks and smells before it.

As for teeth brushing: Try the shock factor. Show him pictures (find them online) of people with bad teeth or no teeth. Explain tha tthey get smelly and rotten, and they will hurt.

Here is what I actually said to my son after he asked me IF he HAD to brush his teeth..
"You don't HAVE to brush ALL of them. ONLY brush the ones that you WANT to keep."

He laughed and then went right to brushing ALL of them.

He also loved the Listerine Cool Agent Blue (bubble gum flavor)rinse that stains plaque blue so that he could see how much brushing was required. ;)

I say yes you should have your child looking presentable when he leaves the house going to school or to visit family and friends, if the child looks raggedy then they look upon the parents as not being good teachers for their son and teaching them their manners and how to look presentable. My son is 31mths and he always has on nice clothes, his teeth are always brushed and hair is always combed. its a good habit to get into and they learn it as they get older.

if your husband is undermining your efforts, then good luck teaching your son anything in this arena. This is what I'd do, in this situation. I would let my 7 year old know that he's 7. The rules in this house is that when we eat at the table, go out in public, and get ready for bed, he will be clean. That includes hair combed, face washed, hands up to the elbows washed, and bath at bed time with teeth brushed. No exceptions. Period. If he doesn't care to eat , then don't follow the rules. He can take a bath and go to bed without dinner.
Same with your husband. ;)

I don't give a rats patoot how he was when he was a kid, he's the adult now and should support you in your efforts to raise your son to not be slovenly. There's nothing wrong with that expectation of boys as well as girls. I raised two girls and 1 boy, of the three my oldest daughter was the one that looked like she was rolling in it most of the time. It was a struggle to keep her cleaned up. I guess I'm just saying that wanting manners and decorum and hygene from your kids isn't criminal nor the beginnings of an OCD of some kind.
Set the rules. Stick to them. If your husband undermines you in front of the kids about it, you may have to have a time out with him at somepoint.

OMG 7 is not to early to start teaching your son hygene and manners. I don't have boys, but if you look at my nephews, they were always told to wash up before they ate a meal, or left to go somewhere (not outside to play). One is now 15 and very handsome and presents himself well and man is he polite!!! The younger one is 8 now and he is the politest little boy I know. They made sure that their boys and girls were taught and using manners at a young age and it really shows in their children, especially their boys.

Start slow. Have him wash before meals and then build on it. Talk to your husband and let him know he is the example and now a days that is not something we see anymore. Dad's tend to take a back seat on things with a "when he's older" attitude and when they are older it is to late and they are gross and disrespectful. It is never to early. We started with my girls when they were 2. They washed before meals and snacks and they only address adults as "Mrs, Ms., or Mr." and say "Yes, mam and No, Mam, etc". And they still do that as tweens. Good luck and God Bless.

My husband doesn't seem to get the concept either but he has a buzzed head and where is the work with that. Besides washing the hands and such, my kids would run around with dirty all the time if I let hime. We've come to a comprimise between me and my three kids. You can look like a mess while around the house and on the weekends. You can even play with the kids in the neighborhood when you are outside and still not have to worry about being dirty. But when you go some place with me (which they are motivated to do)then they have to be cleaned up. When going to school, you need to look nice. He can express himself (he is 8) with his clothes with in reason. No holes in the knee! And when he goes to his friends house then he must look nice. I just use small explenations for each (being dirty at school is a distraction, you can't be dirty at someone elses house because they don't want thier house dirty...) and that is it. No arguements. I also place post-it notes on the bathroom mirror (expo works too) about washing face ect. before shcool or bed.
He suddenly started to not want to take a bath right about that age too. We let him change to a shower which is what his dad and I do. We also got him the Ax shower gel. It makes him feel more grown up. He has a travel tooth brush and paste to wbrush his teeth at school which gives him an extra couple of minutes outside of the classroom so he loves that, lol. About when he turned 8 he became really aware of this and even wanted cologne so it might be something he grows out of.

It goes a little bit further than just looking presentable. You are teaching him personal hygiene habits. Seven is not to early. By 7 he should be doing those things. Continue to reinforce his good hygiene habits. We've made sticker charts in the past to help remind our kids what needs to be done. A sticker for every time they did it without complaining or a sticker for every time they did it without being told. Structure and routine work well. If you do the same thing over and over he will eventually look for these things to happen. My 6 year old boy does not give me problems about showering and brushing his teeth before bed because it is done every single night. After breakfast, wash your hands and brush your teeth. These are life lessons that should be taught early! Good job on recognizing that!

A seven year old definately should be taught about personal hygiene, but are you perhaps being a little too neat? I know alot of women don't like messes, therefore don't want their little boys to be boys because it's too messy. So just ask yourself if you are being too "girly". Your husband should be the one to teach his boy this, cause little boys love to do what their daddies are doing. So if he's not interested yet, don't worry, soon he'll be mocking everything his dad is doing. As long as your son's washing up for dinner and taking baths, I'm sure he's fine.

I say choose your battles too. I have a 7 year old and he "doesn't have time" really to clean because he is focused on play time. So, I quickly wet it down in the mornings and comb through it, he brushes his teeth and gets dressed and out the door quickly because of his own personality. I think its hard to expect a lot out of them with regards to spending a lot of time on it. He likes to play in the bath and quickly washes and soaks and plays a long time. Often I'll hand him the toothbrush if its a shower and he can do that in there. I think with this age you can get a hair cut to make it easier and they can be groomed without spending a great amount of time on it. Spending a lot of time on it is asking a lot of a 7 year old. Don't expect too much from them, but make sure they know good hygiene also. If he is like my boy, he doesn't stay clean long anyway with the way he plays. Just make sure he is clean in public.

Yes teach your child the importance of keeping clean and looking nice.I have no problem with my 5 yr old.Your husband should be in agreeance with you that was his past and should look at his son and let him know that it is nice to get cleaned up and go out to look presentable.With that being said it is going to be harder to get your son to cooperate with you on this issue if your husband doesn't keep his comments to himself and with you when you shrare a disagreement with your child in front of them it makes it harder on the other parent.

no, he should be able to start learning that now. remind your husband appearances mean a lot nowadays and you don't want you kid to be one of "those" kids. and just tell your son "because i said so." :) good luck!

Hi F.,

You could give him a haircut that he doesn't need to "style" too much like a crew cut if it bothers you alot. However, he does need to bathe daily and brush his teeth after meals and brush and floss before bedtime.

As far as asking him to get cleaned up, I guess it depends on when you are asking him to do this. If he is bathing daily and brushing his teeth, but he is out playing and his hair gets a little tossed, and then you ask him to "fix" his hair, I say pick and choose your battles. Yes, he needs to wash his hands after playing and handling dirty things and before he eats to prevent spread of germs, but if you're expecting him to look "neat" all day long, I say let this one go and just let a kid be a kid.

Don't worry. In about 5 more years, your son will probably be spending an hour in the bathroom trying to impress the girls and you'll have to knock the door down to get him out of there! Then, you'll look back on this moment and wonder where that scruffy boy went. Enjoy all these little phases they go through.

I tell my 8 year old that it is a way of showing respect for the people you are with. It's not something he has to do all the time, but for special occasions - like our anniversary - I MADE him wear nice clothes. The teeth brushing is not negotiable though. That is for his health, and the health of our bank account! Fillings are expensive! I don't think he's too old. He's old enough to know that his actions matter.

Hi, F.. I do think it is very important to teach a boy- even a 7 year old how to look presentable each day. Cleanliness is important, and it is never too early to start learning about it. My son is 8, and his dad still has to comb his hair in the morning before school. He can't get it to look right. It is just part of his daily routine, so he doesn't get upset about it. On the weekends, we are more lax. When my son gets out of the shower, he does his own hair. It is a good time to practice, since it will actually lay down for him. If your son sees you doing daily washing, etc, it will help him understand that it is important. I would not make a big deal of it, just teach him when it is morning and time for him to do his routine. Good Luck

I think it is never to young to start teaching healthy habits! We all feel better after we've showered or done our hair, put on a fresh face, etc. It is a chore to make our children look presentable. But in the long run I would rather get compliments on how well dressed, presentable, well behaved, children I have. We have all seen the dirty children or not so well kept, wild hair, and had thoughts.
We have tried to teach our children at a young age to look your best, put your best foot foward at all times, and you will have respect back to you. Slothfullness doesn't get you very far! They maybe young, and rather not have a worry of there appearance, even at age of 14, but we have more people say "what a nice looking well behaved, well manored, young man". Teaching respect is a job that starts when they are young enough when they start talking. THey may not understand now but later on they will appreciate how there parents took care of them, teaching them, and rearing them to put your best forward. Our 14 year old still gives me "the Look" when I ask/remind him to shower, brush teeth, look presentable, remind him something doesn't match. It is also one of those things you have to pick your battles. We also get nice compliments for our daughter, who at 3 can't do as much for herself, as mom I take the time to make her presentable. Not only are they individuals they are apart of a family, and teaching them to be individuals and also they are representing themselves as one of many. I have heard and seen families struggle with there children on this topic, and it can be a battle. Teach them wisely and you will receive the respect back to you in the long run!!! Giving them choices (we have set for them) can also be very important to them and make them feel responsible also.
I hope this has helped!!!!!
S.

I would say yes, its time. Hes 7 remember and still just wants to be a kid and be messy and dirty. Dont make him "look perfect" all the time, but in the morning he should be brushing teeth, combing hair, etc. Have him do these things every day in the morning before he gets to leave the house or do anything else. Then if he gets dirty or messy throughout the day its really no big deal. I personally would make him "freshen up" (Brush hair, put clean clothes on, etc) if ya'll end up going in public but otherwise, mornings should suffice for now. I hope this helps!!

When does your husband think the boy should wash up and brush his teeth - high school, college? He's too old to be reminded to do those things, he should have been doing them for years, even it is wasn't a perfect job. Washing hands and brushing teeth is basic hygiene for himself and the others that have to live with him. Combing his hair is the least he can do to make himself presentable.

I wouldn't expect a 7 year old to be combed and cleaned every minute of the day, but he should brush his teeth and wash his hands and face at least in the morning and before bed and wash before eating.

Lastly, you shouldn't have to take "attitude" from him about ANYTHING! Imagine him at 16 years old!

Very important. Not perfect, just clean! My almost five year old was watching the Ant Bully and saw the scene with the lice/head mites, and asked me why/how the man got it. I used that as an opportunity to explain his baths, no baths means nasty bugs eating your head (although that is not always the case, he doesn't need to know that!). My girlfriend had a pair of Billy Bob teeth, and when my son asked why she had those teeth, I explained that is what happens when you don't brush, your teeth rot out! And explain how cruel other kids can be about bullying kids with smelly breath or BO. He wouldn't want to be teased or embarrased, would he?

F.,
I think good habits are best learned early and grooming is very important because it affects how people view us and also our health. I don't think 7 is too young at all in fact I started much earlier with all mine. If you are meeting with resistance from your son I would say try and make it fun, make a sticker chart and keep track of all the nights he brushes his teeth before bed w/o having to be told/asked and if he goes a week in a row or some other small goal give him an extra book read to him at bedtime or some other Small reward. Also he is old enough to understand some basic concepts of health, has he been to see a dentist yet? Explain to him that if he doesn't brush his teeth he could get cavities. Having him brush his hair when he gets ready for school should just be part of the morning routine. I still brush my daughters for school days and special occassions but only because I usually use elaborate hair pretties = )

I definitely think you should start the 5 year old on the same path now as well they are not too young!!
Good luck!
B.

It doesn't matter if your husband was the same way or if your son doesn't like it. It's more important that your son learn good hygiene and grooming habits. Explain to your husband that he really doesn't want to be embarassed to be seen in public with his son. He's the father and he needs to set a good example. If your husband doesn't cooperate, then just expect your son to do it or receive consequences,i.e. he can't play with friends if he looks or smells bad. Get creative.

I have a little one that just turned 6. When he gets up in the morning, he dresses himself, makes his bed and brushes his teeth. I always try to help him with his hair, but as long as his "rooster tails" are laying down, I don't fret too much about it. I figure that I should pick my battles. I think it is important to encourage good hygeine at an early age, especially hand washing and overall cleanliness. It helps in teaching them respect for themselves and for their things. Not to mention boosts self-confidence.

Boys and girls are typically very different. Little girls tend to be more clean and more oriented toward a "pretty" appearance. Boys on the other hand experience the world in a rough and tumble way. I know there are exceptions but as a general rule this is the way it is. Little boys are just that, little boys. There is nothing wrong with asking him to change his shirt before dinner. You can ask him to wash his hands or to wash his face. Your husband is right though, little boys do not care, and continuing to make a big deal out of it will make him care even less.

There will be plenty of time for him to be a young man when being a young man means something, to him. Some where between 10 and 13 he will begin to actually care about the way he looks, and smells. Until then the best thing that you can do is to remind him that before he comes to the table he needs to wash his hands. You may need to remind him to change his shirt or comb his hair. The point is, caring about your appearance comes from within, not from without. He will care when that little girl in the front of the class smiles in his direction. He will care when one of his friends starts getting attention from the girls and he doesnt. The facts of life, they make the world go around. Until then, you have a 7 year old boy who does not understand what all of the fuss is about.

There is nothing wrong with teaching a child at age 7 how to clean up and look presentable. If they are staying at home and just cooling it, it's not that important, but when it's time to go to someplace special like a wedding or out to eat, they should be able to wash up and comb their hair. Starting them out young is good. But they shouldn't have to be perfect 24/7. I agree with your husband when it comes to kids and washing. They do not have to look perfect all the time, but you don't want to struggle either like my daughter does with my 11 year old granddaughter. She refuses to comb her hair and wash like she should and it's a real struggle. it all comes from getting them started early. Good luck.

Kids are different. Our oldest son had to be reminded to brush his teeth and comb his hair but does take showers every morning and doesn't have to be reminded to do that. He likes to have longer hair too so if he doesn't keep his hair combed he usually gets a military haircut then he doesn't have to worry about combing it.
youngest son is 8 and has it set in his morning routine and we don't have to remind him to comb his hair or brush his teeth but has to be reminded to take showers and doesn't like to take showers everyday so will try to slide by without one when he can get by with it.

I'm with you on this one! When my son started kindergarten, I started making him take care of his apperance more. As in combing his hair, making sure his clothes were clean, no holes etc... He's always been good in taking a bath, brushing teeth etc... But when it comes to his hair he hates having to comb it down and he'll just throw any old thing on wether it matches or is play clothes! I just make him go back and do it over. I remind him there are some kids out there who will make fun of him just because they don't think his clothes are nice etc... He's almost 8, but even at his age there are still some mean ones! It doesn't hurt now to teach them to look nice, as it's something they need to learn to do anyways! It can't hurt in my opnion ; )

Yes, that is why it is wise to start them at a very young age. my 18 month old grandaughter does all her own stuff with guidance of course. She washes her privates and hair and teeth and she can even pull her own pants up. I was not to keen on it at first and once i seen her independence and she gleems when she does it,I changed my tune.
Tell little man that if he wants to grow up to be like his superhero or dad that they do all that stuff too. Just encourage a little a time to get him used to it. Make a chart and tell him each day he checks off everything to do with cleanliness at the end of the week he will be rewarded not for keeping clean but for following directions.

Brushing 2x every single day and flossing 1x a day!!!!
Teeth care is one battle definately worth rolling up your sleeves for!

Clean face when it warrants.

Hair...eh...at your discretion.

Combat his complaints with humor. ("Yes, honey, I'm the meanest mom in the world--don't forget behind your ears...")
:) Angie

the younger the better! It is going to be easier to establish good habits at a young age. Dont wait until he's 10 and his face starts breaking out because he doesnt wash it twice a day, or you smell body odor, yes at 10 we are now using deodorant. Kids are cruel and will criticize,you dont want that. Its a shame a lot of children arent taught at home to be kind. Its hard after they reach a certain age to get them to start good personnal cleanliness habits. Boys play hard outside,mine has to wash his hair everyday with a bath, its short so takes less than a minute to do

Good Morning F., You have received a lot of Awesome Advice already so I will make this short.
It is necessary to be clean when:
1. going to school ( clean cloths, hair combed teeth brushed)
2. going out in public shopping or visiting ( ditto above)
3 after playing outside and its dinner time ( hands & face washed at least)
4. Bed time! Bath hair washed, teeth brushed )especially if they have played outside after dinner.
It's just something we all should of been doing since we were a lot younger.

Our 3 1/2 yo Grandson does all these things. He has his cloths changed if they are to dirty after playing, to go some where, hands and face washed, hair combed.
He likes to be handsome, and to him being handsome is having his hair combed. He is in pre school now and he enjoys going looking nice and clean.

If hubby don't get it. Well his loss to be able to show his son what it takes some times to be presentable in life.

Good Luck F., I hope you can use the advice of everyone and get started well, with or without hubby's help.

Always
K. Nana of 5

It's absolutely important to teach him to be presentable. If you don't start from the beginning, it will be hard to expect an adult to all of a sudden be presentable for work. It develops a sense of pride in how you look. Don't forget that many times you only have one chance to make a good impression on some people in your life and that first impression is the first glace or look they see of a person. It's also a matter of good hygene. It's important to your health to have clean skin, teeth and hair. Your not asking him to be perfect, just maintain a good heathy appearance. He might only be 7 now, but if you don't teach him these things at a young age, he will not know how to do it properly when he is older.

I think that getting a 7 y.o. ready to start washing up is a GOOD idea. I don't think it is ever too early to learn good habits. Not to be mean, but does your husband not like to "clean-up" himself? My husband doesn't like to "clean up" himself--drives me NUTS.