6 Year Old Son's *Quirk*

My daughter is 6 also--does the same thing and it drives me crazy! We have a 2.5 yr old also- so I wonder if it because of the sibling- I am looking forward to the responses that you get! I am glad to see that it is not just me!!

Hey Colleen! Merry Christmas! My son is now 13yrs old and I so remember the days when it seemed he just could not control himself around other 'friends.' You see, he seemed to do fine with us at home but whenever we got out and about he just flipped a switch. Rough and tough, wrestling around...it was all too much! We were constantly telling him to stop, don't,quit, sit down, calm down etc.....the list goes on and on.

Have you ever been really busy, right in the middle of something and one of your children starts calling you, "mommy, mommy, mommy...Mommy, MOmmy, MOMmy...." Before you can answer they have mommied you a TON! LOL Well, it finally hit me, that is what was happening with our son! DUH! He was so wrapped up into what he was doing (and later we learned that being around other people was a trigger for him)that he unintentionally tuned us out.

The only thing that worked with our son was helping him to help himself. We were homeschooling by this time and our days were more consistant. He loves structure and still has much difficulty with 'free time.' When we would go out, I would tell him what we were doing, where we were going and around what time we were coming back. We talked about behavior and what we expected from him. We talked about how we would call him to us if he became too rough with others. We let him know that he could come to us if it felt like he couldn't stop himself and we would help him.
This was such tiring work for me. I was constantly trying to help him stay out of trouble.

Later, he was around 9yrs old, we learned he was dyslexic. When we found help for his dyslexia, we learned that many children are fine but have 'triggers' that will bring out speech issues, behavior issues etc. Not just dyslexics. Think about adults that you know that are just not comfortable in crowds. Some get really quite while others may get really loud. How about people, adults and children, who have test anxiety? My mom suffers with that and she is almost 70yrs old! As for our son, we learned that sound is a trigger for him as well. Go figure! Can you imagine him in a public school classroom with sound triggered dyslexia?!!! I cringe to think of it! LOL

Your son is only 6yrs old and I promise he will grow out of some of this. He is also a male and by design, they are to grow up to be warriors, leaders of the home, problem solvers and great husbands and fathers. I am learning still that they do wrestle around and get 'rough' with each other more so than many of us ladies tend to do. LOL

I love to read books about others who have been there and done that with regard to these types of issues. One of my favorite is How To Make Children Mind Without Loosing Yours by Dr. Kevin Leman. It's funny and very good and easy to read for moms on the go.

I hope, if nothing else, you take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. You are doing a great job with your son. It is hard work sometimes raising these boys. LOL But God picked us so we must be the best moms for the job, right? LOL

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask away anytime, okay?

Take Care,
N. :) SAHM homeschooling 3 boys and married to my Mr. Wonderful for 15yrs. I love to help other moms reach their goals!

My first question to you is... Are you a working mom? Do you also do volunteer work away from the kids and or are you leaving the boys or your son w/ someone other than your self or dad. In regards to the first problem you mentioned. One thought is that he is looking for some attention. Often times, kids will revert to babish behavior around others, especially adults when they feel threatend and feel they are "loosing you again". I've been there and seen alot of this too. I no longer work full time, and chose to work vary part time because I couln't stand what lack of controle I had w/ my kids etc. I'm a mom who has 3 boys, (and 2 girls). Two of the boys have had this issue with the friend and behavior issues.
With both instances we were also quite close to the parents, but we had to explain first to the parents that we were haveing some "issues" w/ our son and we just felt as though it would be best for the relationship if the boys took alittle time away from each other. Not to totally disconect, but just not spend 2 or 3 days aweek playing together or what ever it is and just lesson that amount by 2/3s or so. We explained to the boys what we observed and we expect better behaivier from you and what kind of behavior is tolorated in this house and what we consiter to be kind and considerate and what is not. We let them know of the less time they will spend with these particular friends for a while and that life goes on. Make new friends, keep the old, one is silver and the song goes on...
We did this, and found that once the boys found that there were boundries set, and what WE EXPCTED, than everything was fine. At some point you need to lay down the rules and let the kids know what you expect, and even from their friends. Especially when they are in your home, even now that my kids are teenagers.
I expect kids to say hello to me, even on the phone, and to address themselves on the phone and to be curtious. I expect this from others but don't always get it. My own I insist on them being curtious and have stood there and told my kids from a young age what to say when you make a phone call and when they answer the phone, and not be calling any other house (on a cell phone or not) after 9pm unless it's an emergency. All cell phones and electronic devices get left down in the dining room at 9pm (to be charged!--ha, it's so we can scan through and check what they are doing).
Basicly, your just starting!!! Good Luck, and remember, you are the one in charge, and you need to let the kids know (becouse they won't know naturally) what you expect, and need to have high standards, expect respect--Most of all you need to ensure that enough time is being given by you and your husband to your kids to ensure the best they will be, remember, you can always redo your career, you don't get "do-overs" with your kids. Merry Christmas,& Happy Holidays

I agree with the poster who said to evaluate when and where he reverts to his baby talk. But I also think many kids do this -- I know a couple of my daughter's friends who do it, not with stranger adults but with any adult, because the girls think they're being soooo cute (and because adults unfortunately have reacted in ways that encourage their baby talk). In your son's case, though, it could be his way of getting your attention in situations where he's uncomfortable. Whatever the reason, you could consider handling it by calmly but firmly ignoring him (and any requests he makes etc.) when he uses baby talk. "I'm sorry, I can't understand you when you talk like that. When you can talk like I know you can, then you can tell me what you want." And carry on your own adult conversation. You might have to tell him if he persists in trying to get your attention, "You're still choosing to talk in that way I don't understand. Please go over there (to somewhere away from you and the other adult but still where he can see and hear you) and wait until we're finished here." Be very calm but clear that you just don't communicate with him when he makes the choice to talk in that way. Not yelling or judgmental but firm on the idea of "we're talking like grown-ups here and if you talk like I know you can, you can join in too, but if not, you have to wait." In other words, many kids want any attention, even the negative attention of infuriating you with baby talk to get you away from that strange adult; if you show him he gets ignored and has to wait for your attention he may stop the habit. He's definitely old enough and smart enough to make the connection that baby talk no longer even gets Mom mad--it only makes her ignore him entirely, which isn't the reaction he wants.

Regarding the wildness -- you said "with certain friends." I'd maybe start by re-evaluating those friends. All kids do get crazy sometimes and sometimes it's OK to let them be loud and run around to blow off steam--they have mental and physical needs to do that. But if his lack of self-control with these particular friends means he's getting into real trouble, disobeying, being destructive etc. you might steer him towards other kids who have a more calming effect. I'm not saying these children are bad influences or whatever, just that some kids have the effect of winding up others too far. I see it with my own daughter who's seven and I keep play dates with a few certain friends limited to locations like the park or playground so they can blow off steam. And yes, that means she doesn't see those friends much in the winter....Let us know what you do.

could be shy and does this to keep from having to communicate from the "strangers".

You just described MY son :) My husband and I joked that maybe he needed medication, because he gets so crazy sometimes (OK, we were only half joking)! But when he was in Pre-K last year, his teacher called him "Mr. Serious" because it took him a month to even crack a smile. I think boys just have tons of energy and it needs to go somewhere!!
How does your son behave in school? If he's well behaved and in control all day, he probably just needs to "let off steam" when he comes home. We signed our son up for soccer and t-ball, and it made a huge difference in his level of hyperness! I think a good outlet for your son's energy might be a better alternative than a time out?? Even just a quick trip to the park so he can run around might do the trick.
As for the baby talk, my son does that sometimes and I think he's just doing it to get a reaction from me. It could be your son's way of showing off??

Your son sounds as though he is feeling anxious in front of others. In regard to the wildness, my boys get like this when we have friends over, who all, regardless of sex,or disposition, behave the same way. There may be too much stimulation, lights, noise, sugar...pull him aside without saying why, ever so quietly, in a place of solitude, let him get his bearings, and have half a sliced banana or something calming.

hi colleen, the baby talk was probably precipitated by something so random and (to you)negligible that you didn't even notice it.....someone laughing at him being a goof doing baby talk, or noticing another child getting attention for doing so. i would really underplay it.....not make any comment or reaction at all when he does, but smile or a (brief) word of praise when he speaks appropriately. too much reaction either way could easily make things worse. i'm betting it's a phase that will be short-lived if it doesn't garner any attention.
the spazzing out with certain friends might be more complex. first i'd try to identify what it is about these friends that seems to jazz him up so. then you can work on techniques (breathing, counting, pretending he's floating) while he's not in the stimulating atmosphere, but it still might mean quietly but firmly removing him altogether several times until he understands.
good luck!
khairete
S.

If your son does well in school (behaves properly, receives good marks), then I'm guessing he's just blowing off some steam. Sometimes it takes all of their "good" energy to control themselves during the school day, and then when they're in a less structured environment, they act up, for lack of a better phrase.

My daughter, who's 4.5 yo, acted like a dog at my SIL's house the other day. (They have a new puppy.)

Although I was somewhat mortified (OK, I was really mortified.), I kept reminding myself that she does well in preschool, is liked by her peers, and is adored by family members and friends. So these weird behaviors are short lived, and I'm certain that she'll grow out of them.

Some of the other women mentioned being overly stimulated. That could be the case, as some children have a harder time with sensory processing and filtering when a lot is going on. But I think that's an extreme situation. Keep a watchful eye, and try to see what exactly triggers these behaviors. If you're still concerned, call your pediatrician. They can direct you from there.

Good luck.