6 Week Old Only Wants to Be with Me

Some did already mention this, but I just wanted to reiterate it because it has worked well for me. My newborn seems to want me all night long and will only sleep well when sleeping next to me (which I don't like to do) so I put a t-shirt that I wore all day next to her and it seems to soothe her because my scent is on it.

You sound like me. (my kids are now 4 (boy) and 7 mos (girl). My daughter was the same way. She calmed down significantly around 16 weeks. She is still much more demanding than my son ever was...but is better. I had to just let her cry at times. She hated the swing, wan't too found of the bouncy...and had to be held in a particular position. Once asleep if you put her down or made any noise she woke up.

Now she must be CONSTANTLY entertained:)

I guess I don't have any solutions...just know that as she gets older it should get better. And...some amount of crying is really good exercise for them.

Does she have colic? And, if you don't mind me asking, are you nursing? If you are, that could explain it ... my daughter was the same way, but by the time she was about 6 months old, she started becoming a daddy's girl ... it gets better.

My grand daughter is mom's girl and daddy really has been there of course he is frustrated and then over compensates (hovers and pretty much smoothers her trying to get affection) but my daughter has always told him, she's now 2 now but when she was just born she only knew mom's comfort after all she's the one that has carried her for 9 months...

My daughter lives 3 hours away and was very lucky to find a wonderful daycare and my granddaughter has done really well with them from the very beginning...

I take care of a 4 month old that is a huge cuddler...Of course I come from the old school so to speak and believe babies usually cry for some reason..and sometimes they need to feel close..and it won't stay that way forever!!!

She will adjust to being away from you eventually..

B. C. (Emilie's Grandma)

This may sound weird but it worked with my son. When he was only 5-6 weeks old I had the same problem with always wanting to be held by me and while he slept. This would go on all night long and I was completly exhaused. My husband put him in his bassinet and told me to take my shirt off. Of course I looked at him like are you kidding me thinking about that when the baby would not stop crying but I did it and he put the shirt on our son like a light blanket and what do you know he slept for 9 hours. This was of course after hours of fussing because he wanted to be held. I did this for a couple of nights and after that I did not need to use my shirts that I had been wearing anymore. I guess just the smell of me is what he needed. I would do it all over again if I had to. GOOD LUCK!!

Oh L., I feel your pain. My daughter was the same way at that age. It was VERY stressful on my husband as every time I left the house, even just to run to the grocery store, he was so upset/frustrated when I came back that he would just hand her right back to me immediately when I came in thru the door. You mentioned it being mostly in the evenings...that was also the same with my daughter. From about 4 weeks to 10 weeks old, she cried straight from 7-10pm.
It's really hard, because there's not always a lot you can do, but here are a couple suggestions:
Try swaddling her...they make this blanket thing called the swaddler, and you wrap her up really tight, and that actually worked sometimes.
Try holding her in different positions...its hard to describe without showing you, but the one we did that worked sometimes was the football hold.
Finally, keep in mind, this WILL end at some point!

Oh, one more thought: Babies can TOTALLY sense stress/anger/frustration. I think part of the problem with my daughter & my husband is that he would immediately get frustrated...even though I was frustrated on the inside, I was very calm & gentle with my daughter, which I am sure is why she preferred me. Watch your husband with your daughter...does he get easily angered/frustrated? If so, have a talk with him. Obviously it is HARD to not get like that but if the situation is going to improve he (& grandma if that's the case too) needs to learn to keep it calm!

Hope this helps!

i went thru this with my two kids, and my cousin recently went thru the same thing with her baby. *grin* and bear it! this too shall pass and she'll become more social and one day she'll want to go to daddy or gramma before you and you're heart will break a little. i know it's hard, but it won't last long and one day you'll hardly remember what now seems like an eternity.
best of luck!

wow, I feel your struggle with this and the stress is mounting because you are going back to work Monday. Baby can totally pick up on that stress. Have you tried a sling with Grandma or Daddy? Being physically close to someone may help and the movement of the adult is a wonderful rocking motion for baby. Maybe with a piece of clothing with your scent on it can be in the sling??

Wow - you are going through a lot! Barely recovered from pregnancy and birth and now returing to work, and maybe sleep deprived too. That is enough to put alot of stress on you.

Know that your baby loves you. Some babies prefer mom over others for a while. Recall how for nine months she could hear your voice and your body provided the best environment for her - now she is out in the cold, cruel world and has found a safe place in your arms. Thank goodness that she is able to comforted by someone (YOU!) as there are those babies that are not able to be comforted by anyone. Sounds like she is also a baby who needs more touch contact than your son did. Over time, she will be able to separate better - 6 weeks is very young; and yet you have the additional pressure of returning to work at this time and how will she react to a caregiver situation - doesn't make you feel very good, but she is not trying to irritate you. Remember that your baby is not out to get you or make you feel bad - she is who she is! She may very well be picking up on the stress you are feeling of her needing to be held and also her being unwilling to let others comfort her and the fact that she is a different temperment than her brother - she is a sensitive little girl who is aware of subtle changes, like the different between grandma and mom or dad and mom. Over time, she may come to prefer one of them too. But for now, you are her world.

I always tell moms not to expect too much too fast. Some babies are more attached to their moms and that is a good thing that she has formed this bond with you - though it makes returning to work harder. I hope that you have a caregiver who will have alot of patience to work with her and be calm as she transitions to this new schedule and care person - it will take time. Just as it will take you time to adjust.

She may also be more willing to accept an alternate caregiver when you are not present.

I am sure she will grow up to be a sweet, sensitive person who was glad her mom was there to pick her up when she cried and comfort her. Dad will get his turn too - just not yet.

My three kids, all preferred being held to being in any mechanical device and that meant that the house cleaning and my own needs had to go on the back burner when they were babies. But now that they are grown adults, I would not trade all the hours of rocking, walking and singing lullabies that we spent. It is so worth your investment as a parent.

My son was similar and I used the carrier pack and put him in that to do things around the house. Also, get your husband to start getting that baby when she wakes so she sees him first. Most likely it is you handing her off to someone, where if you weren't there she would be fine. She is just going to have to get used to it. My son is 11 months and still prefers me if he has the choice but it fine for my husband if I am not in the picture.

It's completely normal for a baby to only want mom...

My son went through this too and what I did was put him in a sling and carried him for about a year.. if I didn't carry him, my husband or a babysitter did.

It's wonderful for baby to feel attached and loved especially the first 9 months.. some call it the 4th trimester...

Get a GOOD sling.. you can research on www.babywearers.com and find one that works for you.. the ones in the stores scare me.. recalls.. and they aren't comfortable in my opinion. A good sling will allow you to keep baby happy and still get things done around the house..

My son now is very happy with other people in fact he wants my husband now over me at times...

Check out Dr. Sears books.. they have helpful advice about this.

I would suggest a sling carrier... Once you buy it, wash it with your laundry soap and then sleep on it at night... That way YOUR mommy smell is all over it.That may help comfort her while she's in the sling if someone else is carrying her around... Maybe someone that smells a bit like after shave or sweat... aka... dad. It could also be that you hold her tighter than others and she needs that security. Dads do tend to hold a bit looser since they are typically afraid of "breaking" the baby. :-) (One of the reasons we love them...)
It is hard having a baby munchkin that ONLY loves YOU... But trust me as a mom and daycare provider alot of the fears of a mom "they're gonna cry ALL the time if i' m not there".. " Or " call me if she cries too much" I have NEVER had to call a parent yet, or been called for my kids...
I don't know who your having watch her when you go back to work, but prepare them... Take a few of her blankets and sleep on them... Don't wash them... Put them in the diaper bag and tell the provider that you have a couple blankets with your smell on them to papoose her if she needs comfort.

Take it one day at a time and relax. Babys pick up on YOUR tense emotions and mirror them. When you do leave the baby don't make a big deal about it... Just kisses, hugs, and out the door... Cry in the car (I always did). If you act like its no big deal then as she gets into toddler ages she won't think its a big deal either... Make a big deal about coming back, not leaving.
Good luck and stay strong!!!

Yikes~ this can be frustrating... Have you tried to do 'doses' of time blocks with your child down? Don't leave the room on her when you begin at first as you need to work into it. Try even wrapping both of you in a light blanket so your scent is on it and put that and her on the floor or in the crib, bounce, etc. Do the same when you pass her off to others.

Have you been the only one to carry her from birth? Have others handled her more? If not, and the crying is beginning as of lately, then it could be something that she is upset about that could be bothering her. Mom is ALWAYS the 'comfort zone'. It may be a stage or you just may have to let her cry it out... especially when doing the above.

Is there anything else going on in her system, such as colic? Have you checked with her Ped?

Good luck and I hope other mom's have some ideas.

There was one night when I went off to bible study that my husband called my cell phone four times. I did not hear it so it went to voicemail. When I listened to them 4 hours later it was him with my son screaming in the background. He screamed the entire time I was gone. When I got home 4 hours later he melted (son)in my arms. I think it was better that I was not aware it was going on.

She is only six weeks old, so letting her cry it out is a tough call. I concur with others about a sling and swaddling. Have your hubby use a t-shirt of yours like a blanket so she can smell you. Unfortunatley with you going back to work she will be crying. She will learn to calm down, even more so if she is in a daycare as they cannot hold her all the time.

It is tough, but yes this will pass.

God Bless and good luck.

sounds exactly like my daughter. she only wanted momma.. didnt like daddy. even at 6 weeks she would scream if daddy had her.

she never went to any other people - no one held her ever.

I have no advice for you.. it will get better - slowly over time. I went back to work when my daughter was 6months and she did ok with the lady I had watching her.

My daughter is 2.5 now and friendly she does talk to adults and plays with other kids.. I dont think she would let other adults pick her up.

good luck.

Of course she has been 'with' you most of the time since she was born...and not so much others.
But now is the time to let her know she cannot ALWAYS be held ( by you or anyone else ) and cannot always be with you.
If this hard part is not done now, it will just get worse as she grows.
I hate to say it , but you all will have to go through the screaming. If there is nothing else wrong...she is fed, she is dry, etc.
If you all can persevere she will change.
I am not saying don't give her any love or be totally indifferent... just put her down wherever you wish , have whomever is with her speak soothingly and maybe offer her a pacifier ( while I don't subscribe to prolonged use of a pacifier , it does have it's uses !) and let her go. Just keep an eye on her.

Just like bigger kids, repitition in 'disapline' always works.
I have had the same problem and this is what worked for me.
It was a hard first week, but it worked. Be strong .... and wear earplugs!
Good luck!

This sounds familiar! My 5yo could've cared less who was taking care of him as long as they were entertaining and/or feeding him. My 1yo on the other hand...complete mama's boy. If I even tried to put him down he would scream, hold his breath, and pass out. I found that a sling is a life saver! He is growing out of it though. We recently weaned from breast feeding and I also started a part time job in the evenings, so he's home with daddy all night. He acts like he doesn't even know I'm gone! He does start crying when he sees me walk in the door and realizes he missed me. Really though, it helped for me to just accept that my kids are total opposites and to remember that someday I would miss the days when all he wanted was mommy.

She's 6 weeks old!!! Infants recognize who's got them. Somehow they know. I can understand screaming with granny, but dad. Does dad take enough part? I'd say it's something that had better change so she knows dad too. Otherwise you're right: you'll never be able to get away.

But 6 weeks; you cannot expect behavioral changes in a 6 week old. Change your perspectives first, you and dad. Adjust your routines so that the baby gets familiar with both of you. Keep up what's going on now and you're going to have attitude issues later that you won't like way more@!

Unfortunately, she probably will cry alot while you're gone. She is still so little and just wants her Mom....it's nature's way. Whoever will be caring for her will need some extra comforting skills at first. She will get used to it. Obviously you have a strong bond with her. After she realizes that you are coming back for her, she will calm down. Maybe a blankey that smells like you would help.