Help with Sleep/9 Month Old

Updated on July 01, 2010
R.S. asks from West Hartford, CT
8 answers

Hello,
My son will be 9 months this week. He was doing so well with his sleep but now he cries so hard when we put him down that he vomits. My gut tells me he is having trouble separating when my husband and I put him down now. Or he is more aware now that he is alone in his room. I have no idea what to do. I know many would suggest to let him cry it out but I don't feel comfortable doing that since he is vomiting. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank u. RS

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K.J.

answers from Nashville on

At 9 months, babies are more aware that they are by themselves. It is a version of separation anxiety that many babies, including my 15 month old, suffer around that age. My daughter would also cry so hard she would throw up and I didn't like that. I continued to nurse her to sleep (or if it was someone else they gave her a bottle while they held her, never in the crib) until she fell asleep. Then I would put her in her crib after she fell asleep. I didn't start putting her in her crib awake until she was 14 months.

I know many mothers and doctors say you should teach them to fall asleep on their own, but that just didn't work for me or my child. I firmly believe in motherly instincts, so if you don't feel comfortable letting him cry it out, then don't and don't let other people pressure you. You are his mother and know what is best for him. Trust your instincts!! You are doing a great job!

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S.K.

answers from Kansas City on

We haven't had any trouble with letting my grandson fall asleep in our arms so far. He transfers without waking back up most of the time. Does he take some water to bed in a bottle? Our little one is 10 months old and just started with separation anxiety. He still needs a bottle at bed since he doesn't take a pacifier. He also just started getting teeth so we need to switch to water.

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

My little one also has been through several phases of separation anxiety and although she's a great sleeper, many months have been spent doing whatever it takes to get her to sleep. THere was a stretch of about 5 months where I had to lay down beside the crib to get her to sleep and sneak out after she fell asleep. For awhile we had to sit on the glider chair in her room. In any case, after awhiew each phase passed. Right now she's ok with us leaving the room after an appropriate ritual.

Lots of folks do CIO but it's not for me and you shouldn't feel pressured to let your baby cry til he vomits. You have to do what feels right to you. My mother has said to me all along - whatever it is it passes so quickly, they grow so quickly, enjoy that they need you when they are little for in the blink of an eye they are grown. THat has helped me get through these "difficut" times where I had to sit by the crib etc. In the scheme of things no big deal.

Good luck.

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M.C.

answers from Boston on

Hi,

We just went through this with our daughter who turns a year on Thursday. When she was around 9 months the same thing happened and we too tried the cio method but she would also cry so much that she threw up. What worked for us at times (note the AT TIMES!) was to sit in her room with her in her crib and us next to it. We would talk softly to her and soothe her to sleep. She is now able to be put in her crib and fall asleep on her own and STAY asleep all night! Hang in there! It will get better!!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I did use CIO, but I would go in every 5 minutes to comfort until the tears stopped (not by picking up, just rubbing and singing the baby while he was in the crib). Once calm I would leave, and if he started back up I would wait 5 minutes, and than go back in. I never had to go in more than once, but I started this at less than one month old, so self soothing came very natural to him. It may take some time for your 9 month old to learn, but it will be well worth it in the end.

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D.S.

answers from Tulsa on

I do the cio and wouldn't do it yet at that age. I would still put him to sleep at that age. wait till he is starting to nod off and then put him to bed. I would wonder if something isn't physically wrong to cry that hard. have you had his ears checked they tend to get worse at night. another possibility is he scared of the dark??? does he have a night light if not it might be a good investment.just a few ideas I would consider. maybe a blankie might help.

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P.N.

answers from Boston on

That's normal. He's a baby and he wants to be with you guys. They go through phases, so eventhough he's been going down fine, now he's realized he is missing you. You may want to try the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It's all about getting kids to go to sleep without CIO or anything resembling it.

They all get there eventually, though some are tougher than others.

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C.C.

answers from Boston on

Sure, a 9 month old is not going to go to sleep just when you want him to. I can give you a suggestion. You husband could lie down on the bed with your son on his chest and sing nursery rhymes to him. Moon River worked well for us. The voice and vibrations from the chest is very soothing and reassuring for the child. He falls asleep, wait 10 minutes until really asleep and then transfer him to crib. You should have his crib in the same bedroom as you at that age too.

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