5 Yr Old daughter-Stealing?

I think all kids go through this experience and it is important that you use this as a time to teach her about stealing. If she steals again (from a store or a friend), have to go back to the person she stole from, give back the item and apoligize. I remember I stole a couple of times when I was in first grade. I stole a girl's lunch and I stole something out of a goody box at school. After I stole the girl's lunch my mom invited over the girl and her mother. We all sat down together and I apoligized and they taught me that it was wrong. It took that experience as to realize as a young child that it is wrong to steal. So it helps to go that extra step and have her apoligize to the manager of the store or the friend and mother to help her realize that it is wrong. Don't worry...your not raising a klepto! Good luck!

I had the same problem with my 7 year. He started steling around the age of 5.

I tried everything. I had him write me sentences, grounded him, took things of his away, made him pay for things with his allowance. When he stole from the store, I took him to the manager so he could tell her what he had done. She told him she would let it go "this time", but if it happened again, she would call the police. He promised her he woudlnt', but kept stealing.

To make a long story short, my daughter, who is about 8 years older then my son, brought the police to our home one day. I did NOT want to resort to this method, but nothing else had worked. This actually scared him enough that he hasn't done it since.

Good luck! This is a hard one to address.

My oldest daughter did the same thing at the store in Park City. She really wanted a bracelet at the checkout stand and I said no. She took it and walked out. I saw it as we were walking and was very mad. I made her take it back in and appologize and she felt very bad. We talked about it in the car and I made a big enough stink about it that she never did it again. I think it is important to allow your kids to have some things and use their money or allowance to purchase things at the store so they can have the sense of satisfaction that comes with purchases. They also need to know that "no" means "no" and not try and undermind you or their will be consequences. Sometimes we can be too soft on our kids when they make a mistake that hurts others, because we don't want to hurt our kids. But it would be good to tell your daughter the ways she is hurting others by what she does, so she can get beyond her own selfish wants and see that these things belong to others who will miss them. Good luck!

K.,

When you asked Olivia about the popcorn she was honest with you. Has anything changed between then and now to make you believe that she is not honest about the necklaces?

It does sound like your daughter is in "want" mode.
It feels like she believes she will not get the things she wants unless she helps herself. Is there any truth to this believe that she has?

I would advise you don't look at this as random separate incidences, but a pattern that is happening in her life.

What has sent her the message that her wants will not be recognized?

Remember that at age 5 your daughter is still learning and growing into the person she will become. Gently guide her into the person that will bring both of you joy.

With all my heart, C. TLC
Loving Connections LLC

Hi K.,
Maybe it is time to teach Olivia about money and how we earn things. Help her map out a plan of how to get something that she wants. Before you go to the store talk about what will be purchased that day. If she is going to be allowed to have a treat then she should have a responsiblility to achieve in order to earn that treat. Even at 5 you can find a little chore for her to complete in order to earn a treat.

She also needs to gain some empathy for those who have "lost" something when she takes it from them. Maybe something of hers could go missing and then she could feel what it is like to be on the other side. Or, let her see you upset over something that has been lost or taken.

It must be so hard for kids these days with all of the "stuff" they are bombarded with every where they go. Our society is all about "things"!!! Help her learn that pretty things can be enjoyed right where they are, sitting on the shelf at the store or at the neighbor's house. That she doesn't have to keep in or buy it in order to enjoy it. Hopefully as she gets a little older this one will sink in.
Just a bunch of thoughts. I hope you find a solution.
Take care,
B.