So, we had our meeting this morning with the teacher, unfortunately the principal nor vice principal could make it, but we've elected to have an additional meeting to include them.
The teacher was instantly in defense mode, presuming that we were ready to accuse him if not being capable of handling our son or children of that age group. I had talked with my son's father the night before to discuss how I felt we should approach the situation, thanks to many great opinions of my extended "mamapedia" family. We went in with solid proof and instances where we'd felt as though some of the punishments as well as the excessive phone calls for every little act of silliness, were a tad petty. I'd saved emails and notes sent home on things that had occurred, which appeared to be a little shock to the teacher. We also stuck hard to our claim and provided evidence that prior to him taking over the class 7 weeks ago, our son had only received one note sent home from the teacher and even on her note she'd stated that it wasn't a big deal, she just wanted to make us aware of why he had an additional 5 minutes time out. Basically we were never called to come up to the school nor was our son ever sent to the principal's office under the old teacher's watch. His defense was that the old teacher's style of disciplining was not his style of disciplining and that his style lined up with the school's regulations and rules. My husband, quickly asked if he was implying that the old teachers (who had been with the school for 30 plus years) style did not line up. He could not comment. Needless to say, I kept quiet unless I was asked to address something because the testosterone started to flair. The teacher seemed almost child-like, even stating that when he was 5 he never acted as silly as our son and that he was never in trouble at school. His behavior was very odd. Again, we've requested to meet with the principal and vice principal.
So, does anyone think that another teacher change this late in the school year will be harmful? Should we tough it out? My husband wants my son out of the class a.s.a.p...
As a student I had this same problem with a teacher, after telling my parents over and over, my father took off work dressed in a suit and was in the class when I got there. After seeing what was going on for about 20 minutes he left.
The teacher did also the next month.
Wow! Sorry you had to go through such a hard time with a weirdo teacher. You know what he said was really inappropriate and the fact that he was defensive tells you a lot. Most teachers are willing to do anything to help the child be successful not be critical of the child or even judgemental.
My immediate instinct is to get your son out of his class. Your son is 5 the school year will be done and he will have another teacher next year. I also think it would be a good way for you to see if your son's behavior changes or continues with a new teacher. If it continues with the new teacher then you must take a look at getting him evaluated through your school district for possible learning disabilities which could be affecting his behavior prior to the following school year. Good luck!
My son is now 6, and in kinder, but he was in preschool at a 5 day week program when he was 5 last year. He has a Sept birthday. Last year we went through some of the same issues you are going through. Now I have some new friends with 5 year old boys in the same class that my son was in last year, and they are going through some of the same issues. That shows me it is clearly the teacher that doesn't know how to work with 5 year old boys. I would move him, if you are able to. My son ended up doing fine last year b/c we worked out a system, but though I thought his teacher was being extreme in the beginning, we managed to work out a plan/ consequence/ reward system that both of us agreed on. She still was my least favorite teacher my son's ever had, but we survived and my son actually considers her as one of his favorite teachers.
This year he's in public school in kindergarten and he has a great teacher who is awesome at understanding boys. His only issue we seem to have this year is he likes to talk when he's not supposed to. I don't like it that he's getting in trouble, but he needs to learn to not talk when he's not supposed to talk. But the way I look at it this year, is that's all the prob is- talking and there aren't all these crazy probs we had last year that I just had never seen my son do before he got in that class. I think 5 year old boys have it hard and we just have to learn to work with them in guiding them to the correct behaviors, but you need a teacher than understands that and who is willing to work with you and the child. I live in the Austin, TX area too.
Just wondering if you have had a chance to observe your son in his school setting? My daughter has problems during circle time in her preschool--being disruptive, not paying attention, getting up and leaving. I immediately asked if I could come in and observe her. (I just asked the other day and haven't done it yet). The trick will be to be in a place where your presence would not influence his behavior, somewhere he can't see you. It might not be possible. I bet you would have a much better idea, not only about how your son is acting, but about how the teacher interacts with him as well. Just an idea.
ASAP!!! Me too. At 5 years old in kindergarten they are gettign their first taste of school. Ask to have a teacher change.
I didn't do this with my oldest and we had a miserable kindergarten followed by the beginnings of a miserable 1st grade. His 1st gr teacher was amazing though and things started looking up after Christmas.
When I read that this teacher actually said to you that he didn't act that way when he was 5, my first thought was you need to get your child out of this man's class ASAP!!! Every child is different, for goodness sake! You shouldn't compare one child to any other, so it's ridiculous that he not only is comparing your son to himself at that age but that he actually had the balls to say that out loud to you!! The nerve!! And when you switch your child out, you will have a big flashing neon sign on your son. Some people think that's a bad thing, but I personally see it as a good thing. The other kindergarten teachers as well as the AP and principal will all know who he is and will know you by name and sight. There is no way your child will have a chance to slip through the cracks. They will all be aware that you are a parent who CARES and who takes the time to insist on the best for your child instead of sitting by and getting steamrolled. Good for you!
Once he is switched, be sure to schedule a meeting with the new teacher as soon as possible. Otherwise, she will only hear the other teacher's side of the story and think that she is inheriting a problem kid. Make sure she knows that the lines of communication are open and you are willing to work together as a team to do what's best for your child so he can succeed in school. Then, be sure to hold up your end of the bargain by listening to her when she makes suggestions about your son's behavior. Usually, when a parent insists on a class change, the principal doesn't want a round 2 to occur so they switch the child to the "best" teacher.
It doesn't really sound like this teacher wants to work with you at all. More like he wants to just defend what he has done so far. I would definately talke to the principal and assistant principal and let them know of your concerns. But it sounds to me like a change out of this classroom would be a good thing for you and your child. The school district should allow and I honestly don't think a change this late in the year would hurt. I would make sure your son understands that changing classrooms will not always be the answer for misbehavior. You don't want him to feel he "got his way". But it doesn't sound like this teacher is a good fit with your child. Good Luck.
I have only briefly looked at your previous posts re: this situation. I have to say that I think that the problem at this point is the teacher. He sounds young and lacking in knowledge about child development. Your son is only 5 and he does have some health issues. The more attention this teacher pays him the more your son is going to "act out." That's the teacher's word; not mine! I say to that teacher, "cut him some slack! Cut yourself some slack!"
A big clue for me is also his statement about how he didn't act that silly at that age. A big clue! Each and every one of us has to be careful when working with a same sex child that our own unresolved issues at that age aren't allowed to surface and influence the way that we treat that child. It's my guess that this teacher had difficulties with adults over silliness when he was 5. Silliness was disciplined (punished) out of him. He sees silliness as a bad thing instead of the neutral thing that needs to be directed in the classroom into something positive. It sounds like he wants to discipline it out of your son.
I would ask that he change classrooms. I think, that although change could be difficult for your son, I suspect that it will actually be a relief.
The principal may want your son to remain in that classroom and suggest that the teacher work out a way to deal with him. If he does, he's wanting the teacher to learn. Your son doesn't need to be his "guinea pig."
I agree that this person may not be suitable for teaching at this age. Apparently he's started mid-year at a time when it's difficult to find a teaching job. He may not even want to be teaching this age. Emphasis on rules and regulations, except in a broad way, is rare at this age. The fact that he defends himself by asserting this claim is another red flag to me.
I would keep in mind that this is a beginning teacher and go easy on him while quietly and calmly stating that the match is not a good one and requesting that your son be transferred to a different classroom. The principal is aware of this teacher's personality and lack of knowledge and skill. (S)he may consider it his responsibility to work with this teacher to find success. The principal, vice-principal may have not been at the meeting on purpose thus allowing the teacher another experience. By law, the teacher, does have the right to a probationary period during which his superiors are required to provide support. But your son doesn't have to be a part of that plan.
ps If you haven't observed your son and the teacher in the classroom you may want to do that before the meeting with the principal. It's good to have covered all bases. Be cordial to the teacher. Make no critical remarks. Just sit, out of the view of your son, and watch. This way you will be able to respond to particular behaviors. You will, most likely, see some negative behavior from your son. It sounds like a pattern has developed that encourages this behavior. By having seen what is happening in the classroom you can temper your criticism with acknowledgment of the teacher's dilemna; then continue to state that this reinforces the notion that this is not a good match.
I think this guy is ridiculous to expect YOUR child to act like HIM! Every child has different personalities. I would ask your son what he wants to do. If he would rather stay then you guys just put up with it for 3 more months. If he wants to change he probably knows what teacher he would like as well. I think you should leave the decision up to your son. I'm sure the meeting with the with the principle and vice principle he will act totally different in. Make sure you state at the meeeting what he said to you because some of his comments were out of line.
You have to go with your gut on this one. I am not a believer in switching a child's class at the drop of a hat. It affects so many of their daily lives- friends, social circles, how they are going to fit in to the new class. One child can change they classroom dynamic in so many ways (I have seen this very issue when a new student joint my 5yo class after Christmas).
Make sure you are not the one suggesting it. This is almost a personal attack on the teacher- even though you are doing the best you can for your child. The teacher may very well say good riddance.
Good Luck!
wow. i mean i am speechless. this teacher is very out of line. he is seeking cookie-cutter kids (per his model). take your son our. if your son ends up hating kindergarten (school) you're will be dealing with these feelings for years to come.
get him out.
How long has this guy been teaching 5 year olds???
OMG, this is horrible for your son and your family. I'm really surprised how an AISD school is handling this. My son is currently in an AISD school and we have to meet for his program, each time I have at least 5 teachers, principal etc in attendance and someone typing up our conversation. This isn't regarding any displinary actions either, I have seen those when I am there volunteering and can tell you there is just as many people in attendance. as well as something being done with situation.
As a mom, anyone talking or being unkind to my child, mean mamma bear comes out and I will do whatever it takes to make it right. I would first go and sit in the teachers classroom, take notes, oh make sure you have taken notes of the teachers comments and reactions in your last meeting with him, which you did as you told us about it. Document everything...then request your child to be removed into another classroom, ask other parents or the office staff whomever you can. Try not to wait too long, since Spring is upon us, possibly make the change then so there is a break before your son goes to new classroom. I agree with one other mom, go and meet the new teacher soon so she hears your version....she/he will know as I'm sure your child is sweet. Talk with your son too. So he understands about parents discipline, and school discipline and why we all need it...at 5 years of age, a time out is about all it takes in a classroom because children don't like time out there, they miss out on recess and having to have the other children look at them for being in time out. I can't believe this teacher, it is about nurturing and being positive and all of the children are so different, especially at this age, it is critical to stay positive...Try and make this teachers world rock, he obviously is so green or he might not need to be teaching such a young age group...it is so sad..There is also an aisd website you can go to if necessary, if the principal or vprincipal do not act upon this situation.
Have the meeting with the principle. But prior to that get on the phone and call every single parent in that class that you can and ask if they to are having problems. I guarentee that if it is the teacher your son is not alone in this.
Also, be very candid with the principle----
Good luck,
DH
