5 Year Old with ADHD

This sounds nothing like the ADHD I know. Many of the medications have horrible side effects, including changes in personality. Has this always been his way?

His meds aren't right. What is he taking?

Our guy is fine during the day when his Ritalin is in his system. In the late afternoons and evenings it can get dicey.

I suggest you consider talking to the doc's about a trial on a different med.

You need to find a better doctor, that doesn't sound like ADHD, that sounds spectrum.

I was looking at your other questions and noticed the teeth one. Granted this is purely anecdotal evidence but nearly every child I know with spectrum, my son included, had enamel issues that caused some major dental work at a young age.

Like I said not real data.

Still all four of my kids have ADHD and the only one who has that type of temper is the one who is ADHD and PDD NOS.

You are getting him intervention which is wonderful !

See if there are any local support groups or parenting classes for parents. There is a wonderful book "The Spirited Child."

One of the best things I did was bring my child to an occupational therapist.
The other thing I did...Took my child off of as many chemicals, dyes, corn syrups, pesticides and gluten foods/ingredients as possible.

I would check with the dr to see if the med is appropriate. A med change might be necessary. Kids with adhd have very sensitive systems...less medicine is "more."

My child went through a phase of feeling like a disaster and would be mad.
And sleep was not the easiest, either. So, bringing my child to the "play" / occupational theraphy appointments helped my child feel in sync rather than lacking impulse control! Also, no tv, video games before bedtime.

A weighted blanket was great !

An ADHD expert told me that a child w/ ADHD has a lazy brain and it is NOT the child's fault. The child wants to focus, feel like the other kids, have an easier time transitioning through activities, controlling moods, etc...but, can't always do all of that and needs assistance with all of it.

While discipline is a must, so is understanding !

How is he in school? Kindergarten?

Just curious.... if he is like this on medication, what is he like OFF medication?

I wonder if he is really getting the correct medication... or if his diagnosis is accurate. Most kids I know with ADHD don't have such aggressive behavior... however, I'm not a diagnostician.....

I have a child around that age who does similar things. No ADHD, no issues. They just tantrum a lot and say hateful things all the time. Death, break things, etc.

Doesn't sound abnormal. It sounds like an immature 5 year-old! We are in the same boat.
I don't know why everyone is so surprised by his behavior.

A phase... as an ADHDer myself (and watching nephew and probably mybson as well having it)... we have little impulse control- so we say so much without thinking of the consequences. yeah alot will be shocking and hateful... its to get people away from us. that's when we've hit max stimuli. even in loving environments.. you can't fight dopamine defiency :/ my nephew had to be in his room- the corner made him crazy. but he could chill out faster in his room and he came out when he was better- we did not go see him til then. How long has he been taking the meds? he might need a different one- so many to choose. my nephew was on 5 different ones before he found his one now. i was on 3 before mine now . but as he was better able to help control some impulses (thanks to meds) it got better. same for me..

This sounds nothing like ADHD.

He may have ADHD, but these behaviors are due to something else.

Are these new behaviors?
When did this behavior start?

If this is new behavior speak to his physician immediately. If he is on medication it needs to be changed, adjusted or discontinued.

speak with his pediattrition first thing tomorrow about your sons emotional state.

L.,

My heart goes out to you. I can relate to everything you wrote for the most part. We are in a very similar situation.

My 5 year old challenges me EVERY single day beyond what I ever expected. We haven't put him on medication yet but we have talked about it. The first thing I would say is, talk to his psychiatrist. There is ALWAYS the possibility that he is not on the correct medication and/or correct dosage. Our child psychologist said that fine tuning the medication is a BIG part of managing ADHD.

The other thing I want to say is, make sure that you are getting the support you need. You sound like you are handling things very well, but I've found that the extra support is not only helpful, but necessary. Coping with the feelings that arise from the behavioral issues is CHALLENGING, to say the least.

We've also decided to have our son see an occupational therapist. She is amazing. Our son has fine motor issues at school, so the teacher recommended the OT. Our son's behavioral issues have improved some because the OT does not allow our son to manipulate the rules. He is learning VERY clear boundaries from her. You'd be surprised how much we all "give in" because we are tired of dealing with the problematic behaviors. She holds him accountable and pushes him to try things that cause him to struggle (in a good way). She looks for his reactions to these challenges and then sets appropriate rules and expectations. It's been really helpful. Look and see if there is an OT in your area who might do the same. You can also talk with your son's teachers and see if they feel it may help. I can't see how it wouldn't.

The other thing that I've found helpful with my son is to review the rules and expectations before we do pretty much anything (go into the store, go to a restaurant, have a friend over, etc). Children with ADHD need these reminders. Their brains are very active, as you know. If you outline the rules ahead of time, they are aware that there will be consequences if they don't follow the rules. If they do break the rules, it's important for us to follow through with the consequences.

Please private message me. I'd love to chat more.

My kids do not have ADHD so take my advice for what it is worth.

Do you believe he is truly incapable of controlling his emotions or is he getting away with stuff because you make excuses for his bad behavior? I know kids who have this and they do not act like this. My friend's child is autistic but has learned appropriate behavior. This was a slow process though and he is now 16.

Honestly sometimes I think you just have to tell kids to knock it off. I didn't make excuses for my kids because they were too young or they were tired or hungry. Bad behavior is bad behavior regardless of the reason. If your son wants to have a fit, make him do it in a corner in an other room all by himself.

My son has ADHD. We have chosen to try other options rather than the meds. And other options have helped us tremendously.

1. We removed all Hight Frutose corn syurp, The artifical dyes, and chocolate.
2. Next we went gluten free. Huge improvement- the gluten was hurting his tummy.
3. We do accupunture _ no needles, it is magnetic.

HUGE positive improvements.

I know a lot of people do not think what we are doing is good.. ADHD needs to be medicated. .but, I have had people who have not seen my son in months.. look at me and say _ did you medicate him? NOPE.. Just the list I have above. Also school has helped with OT. This is all we are doing at this point. School asked me if he was diagnosed with ADHD, and I said yeah, she looked at me like I had 3 eyes.. since what we are doing is really working.

You may also consider sensitivity testing, see what foods he might be allergic to or sensitive to, and see if you can remove those from his diet.

FYI.. I got the I hate you etc.. all the time. Now I get I love you mom and he remains calm most of the time. And when he gets edgy- we give hime something to do with his hands and it helps alot.

Good luck

Yup, my daughter is just like that too. She will be 6 in Feb. She also often will not sleep (went for over a year once!) and scream all night long. She was born 5 mos early and spent her first five months in a special NICU enclosure in the hospital. That, plus the lack of oxygen early in her life, and her many surgeries are believed to be at the core of all of this. So yeah, it is not necessarily your failure as a parent (as many try to blame you, I'm certain).

We have her in weekly counseling, and like you, I just stay calm and don't comment on the hates, etc. Except to say that I acknowledge that she is upset and having some strong feelings.

We give her Bright Spark a homeopathic impulse supplement.
And Travacor Jr, a brain-processing support supplement made for kids with anxiety. Our caregiver tells me that she can tell the difference from when DD gets her meds or not. I mix the Travacor with yogurt every morning and the Bright Spark is easily and happily chewed by her. She asks for it every night before bed if we forget.

OTHER THAN THAT! Seriously, you must avoid all foods with artificial colorings (anything with a number in the ingredients list) because several are known to increase hyperactivity. And we give her tons of organic apples as they are a natural anti-depressant, as well as mushrooms when she will eat them.

A really GOOD book is:
Your Defiant Child, Second Edition: Eight Steps to Better Behavior Paperback by Russell A. Barkley PhD ABPP ABCN (Author) , Christine M. Benton (Author)
Helps create steps that prevent/limit the pigeon holes we can fall into as parents of very "spirited" (DIFFICULT) children. We saw a huge improvement just after implementing the first half of the book. So get it at your library or amazon!!
And I encourage you to follow the diet advice from The Weston A Price Foundation which helps tremendously with mood issues.

Message me if you want more info on anything and good luck!