My 5 year old son started preschool hen he was 3. He had behavior issues in preschool, hitting children, not being able to control his hands when he was angry. Now he is in Kindergarten and still having the same problems. The principle warned my husband if he continues, he will be kicked out. I am looking for a specialist that I can take him to, to see if he has ADHD or ADD or anything else. I was looked into the Learning Gym in Manhattan beach but my insurance doesn't cover that doctor. Does anyone know of a place they can recommend? My son doesn't have a learning disability or problems with his motor skills. He just have problem keeping his hands to himself.
B.,
I think you are doing the wise thing by looking into a specialist, but also try a book called: The Way I Feel. It is a children's book and it is really good at helping kids to learn to put words to feelings that can seem overwhelming to them, and thus they act out - become aggressive, etc.
We found the book to be very helpful.
I guess the question is what are the consequences of his behavior? If there are none then he's just getting away with what he can. There has to be strict guidelines and consequences for his behavior. IE: When I take my kids to the park and they start throwing sand, I tell them to stop 1 warning, if they continue again we will leave, and I never give in we just leave. They know I will do whatever it takes if they misbehave. We have missed birthday parties, I have given them timeouts. BTW the best timeouts are the ones when they sit in a naughty chair in front of the tv and watch a channel in a different language, stocks, or if they are really bad CSPAN (it's amazing what kids will retain) which I can't even watch. If they cry or slouch they get more time. I know alot of people are against spanking, so I won't tell you that's what you should do, but when you lay down the law your child will learn to respect you and other authority. I don't think your child has ADD and I'm happy that he doesn't have any other health problems. I think that you can be very creative in both your rewards and your punishments. We also do chain links where if my son got 10 chain links for being good at school he got a prize. He really enjoyed that. But you do have to keep switching to what works best for you and your child. You probably know more what's best for him than any professional cause you live with him. I hope things get better for you and your son. :)
B.,
I had similar problems with my son I until the principle offered to have him meet with the counselor at school. If your principle doesn't offer then ask, demand, go to the school board. They can't expel him without taking certain steps to help him and it doesn't seem like they are doing that.
I know that you work, but could you take a day off to spend it with him at school? This did wonders for me because I could watch and see the triggers that set him off: the kid behind him on the rug who was kicking him, the girls who wouldn't leave him alone at recess even after he asked them to, the fact that he was "dancing" in class because he had to go to the bathroom and wouldn't tell his teacher. It atleast would give you a leg to stand on to have your own set of requests from them instead of just them demanding from you and your son.
Good luck, S.
Call your local regional center and ask/demand for an assessment and see if you can get services for FREE!!
Read a book called "Out of Sync Child". If you find your sons traits in this book there is a place in Irvine that can help. The book can be found at Barnes and Noble. Do not let him be diagnosed with ADD or ADHD before you check into other causes. Every child has Sensory Intigrated Disorder to some level, his may just be a little higher. It is correctable with out medication. I hope this helps.
My son had a similar problem at school in 2nd grade. The school (public) has a student psychologist that came in and worked with him once a week on how to express his feelings (mainly anger and frustration). She would also call me and give me monthly updates.
He's in third grade now, no longer needs to see her, and is able to communicate what he is feeling. It sounds to me more of a communication problem than ADHD or ADD.
I don't know what insurance you have, but call your pediatrician, he/she can reccomend a counselor.
hello B.
well i worlk with a dr. who is an Naturepathic Dr. that can help you with this situation he just may have a chemical in balance give him a call ###-###-#### make an appointment he deals with alot of these cases so give him a call okay his name is Dr. Ali and your son will not be poked as if you take him in for studies or depending on what Dr. Ali suggest very reasonable and understanding Dr. great staff
V.
The other mothers are absolutely right. Your son needs help and to expel him in Kindergarten is no help. You need to request an evaluation right now! If the school district gives you any flack, HIRE A LAWYER! There are pro bono lawyers who help people that have problems with getting their children the help they need from the school district. There is obviously something going on here. You also have the right to ask for an independent second opinion from a psychologist outside the school district. Call the Regional Center today. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
