my 4 month old has been waking up 4+ times each night to eat for the last 2 months. as a newborn she would sleep " thru the night" (5-7hrs at a time) which i was grateful for since she would scream fo the remaining 19 hours of the day. now that shes grown past that phase, she won't sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time which is killing me and i have to go back to work at the beginning of april. her ped says that she is just in a habit that formed after a growth spurt and now and i need to do some "sleep transitioning" with her where i hold and comfort her at night, but don't feed her every time she gets up. supposedly this should get her to sleep for longer stretches. we tried last night and she was angry. after about 30 minutes of her squirming and spitting the binky out and crying at 1:30 am i gave in and fed her. has anyone had to do this? i could really use some suggestions and advice. i'm so wiped out from sleeping 1 hour at a time i can barely function. i should mention, food allergies run in te family, so introducing solids is not an option yet. shes doubled her birth weight on breastmilk alone in 4 months and is very healthy, strong and alert. my husband works 2 jobs so i wouldn't ask him to sacrifice sleep since he has to think for a living. please help me!
Have you tried cereal in her bottle? I know a lot of people will say no to it, but I did it with my daughter when she was that age and she would sleep thru the night, just a tsp of cereal mixed in with a regular bottle. She is now 6 months old and starting solids and so we took her off the cereal in the bottle and she was fine with it. Good Luck!
Oh everything she is doing is NORMAL. I breastfed all 3 of my kids and they would sometimes get up every hour to nurse. My son is 18 months now and he weighed 25lbs at 6 months. Every baby is different and don't worry. Losing sleep is all a part of of being a new parent. What I always did was put the baby in bed with me and nurse, then you can just fall back asleep while she is nursing. Saved my sanity. Good luck. K..
Dealt with same thing. Unfortunatley, they learn quickly and as soon as you give in the habit is reinforced. It will take a few weeks to break the habit. Not easy. My daughter did the same thing - I was exhausted. Like yours, my daughter screamed for almost entire duration of waking hours. (As it turns out, she did have food allergies.) Try, again. You don't want to have to do this when you go back to work. You waited 30 minutes last night, try 40 tonight, then 60 the next, and so on.
Good luck and hang in there.
P.S.
After reading some other responses, I have the impression that some consider me a torturer. WOW! I am not saying to ignore her, do not repond to her, let her cry all night, or don't feed her. You need to sleep and if you have to work outside the home you will need to be rested. (Bosses don't respond well to employees arriving late because they overslept due to being up all night with a child.) I responded as I did given your circumstances outlined. Something has to give or you will come apart. Maybe you decrease just one feeding?! What works for one doesn't always work for another. Don't want you to feel guilty either if you can't co-sleep or continue with that many feedings throughout night by some other means. (You have addressed the issue with the peds and determined there is no health issue involved - like being underweight/not getting enough food.) Doesn't mean you are wrong, bad or insensitive, just means you have to handle things differently for you and your child. Last thing any mom needs is to feel guilty about choices she makes in caring for her child. Motherhood is a great club to be in - we need to support each other.
if baby is hungry, feed her! She sounds like she's doing really great congrats on succesfull breastfeeding!
Have you considered co-sleeping? My 2nd child was a frequent night nurser (still nursed 2-3x's a night until around 17months old!) Co-sleeping saved my sanity! Although my husband did sleep on the couch for about 6months because he was afriad he was going to squish our son.
If you're not comfortable having her in your bed all night there are several different options for co-sleepers like the Arms Reach co-sleeper that attatches to your bed, it comes in two sizes pac n play size and mini sized. You can also sidecar a crib (what we did) take off one of the long walls of the crib and adjust the height of crib/bed/mattresses so they are even, we used zip ties to connect the crib to our bedframe so it wouldn't slide away and cause a gap. I could just roll over grab the baby nurse him and put him back easily, or just fall asleep with him nursing and still have enough room so I didn't feel like he was going to get hurt.
Good luck hun. I know this is challenging time but it's so worth it!
You sound EXACTLY like me!! When my son was four months old he was still breastfeeding on-demand-constantly (and slept with me most of the time because it was so hard to keep up with him!). This message is to let you know that you are, firstly, not alone. And second to let you know (which you probably already know) it is hard to determine how much your baby is getting with breastfeeding. She really might still be very hungry if only an ounce came out- you know? But chances are, she will need you to feed her more than once throughout the night! I breastfed for two years with my son (crazy- aye?-naps/bed only over time) but I was home most of the time and single. So him being in bed with me a lot was never an issue. My main point here is to let you know that because it is so hard to determine how much your baby is gettng, maybe you should pump and then feed her at night? That way if you need more sleep, your husband can help out here. You are both working, right? =) I hope this may help you. BTW my son never, ever liked a binky. From what I understand, most breastfed babies do not favor them. They enjoy the comfort of mom much better for that type of comfort. For bottle-fed babies, it seems like they are more susceptible to take to the structure of binkys for that type of comfort. You are doing a wonderful thing by breastfeedng. HANG IN THERE! You are doing a wonderful thing for your baby!! I wish you the best of luck!
C.
Is she a good healthy eater during the day? Also, has the ped. ruled out ear infection of reflux? Those tend to make a baby uncomfortable when laying down. Maybe you could try taking her for a walk around the block or something when she wakes up. Or a ride in the car. Or even a small ride in her baby swing could help soothe her.
At the same time, it could end up being a guessing game as to whether she's really truly hungry at any given time she wakes up at night.
Hi K.,
I know its so hard when you're exhausted and just want to break down and cry, but don't give in don't give in don't give in. Children adjust extremely quickly and your pediatrician is 100% right, so is Christine S.
Try taking deep breaths yourself as your holding her to do the best to calm yourself. It will help you And it will help her as she feels you less tense. I promise it will get better as long as you stay strong and stick to it. Keep in your mind that what you're doing now will ease things for you in a very short time and like everything immediate gratification for both she (having her stop crying) and she (having what she's used to at night) will do nothing but continue the situation you're in right now.
Also, remember she's learning all the time how to make her needs known and what you'll respond to. You have to be strong for a few days now. You'll save yourself many trials later.
I'll be sending you good thoughts. I know you can do it.
L.
How much is she eating when she wakes up? I know it's hard to tell when you're nursing, but do you feel like she is doing a full feeding each time? If she is just "snacking" all night , then try to make her nurse and empty both sides at a feeding before she goes to sleep. Also, is she spitting up because that is a sign that she is eating too much just for the comfort. Make sure that she is not sleeping too much during the day either.
I think that 4mo old is too young to cry it out.
I have a 14 month old. There have been a lot of changes in his sleeping habits over time. Over time he was slept longer and longer stretches. There have been times of "back-sliding" as you are experiencing. I'm not a believer in the cry-it-out method, especially for such a young infant. When you respond to your daughter you are teaching her to trust you.
I went back to work full time when my son was 12 weeks. The thing that saved my sanity was co-sleeping. When baby woke up, I'd just roll over and nurse him back to sleep. Going to bed earlier helps too. Also, focusing on my job & my baby - keeping my life simple.
Hang in there - you're doing a great job. Your daughter will start sleeping longer stretches again soon.
ETA: Here are some links on how to use your crib as a co-sleeper:
Check out Elizabeth Pantley's book, The No Cry Sleep Solution. Follow its recommendations isn't easy, but it (eventually) worked for us. Starting now, while you child is 4 months I imagine would make it easier. My son was 6 mo. when we started and already had established nocturnal snacking habits.
J
As long as you give in she will do this. Precious as they are they know. My doctor said to me " Do you like getting up like that?" I said no. He said it will take 1 or 3 nights but let her cry she will go back to sleep. As long as you can hear she is ok and breathing YOU train her. Now SHE is training you. This worked well after one night she cried less on night 2 and little on night 3 then slept in untill 6:00am. I loved that. And when she woke up at 6:00am and I wanted her to sleep longer like to 7:30 again we had her wait. As long as they are not choking, etc. Can you use a sound baby moneter or anything? Good luck be strong. Cuddle her and love her up when you choose to get her up. We must train our children so we can live with them and enjoy them. That doctor has 4 of his own children and is raising two nieces.
my son did this. Our Dr told us to give him plain water. Instead of formula. It took about 3 nights, but it stopped.
Good Luck.
I know you said food allergies are a problem, but have you thought about adding rice cereal. Rice cereal is one of the few foods that have a low risk for allergies. It sounds to me like she is not getting enough. How often does she eat during the day? I had problems breast feeding after my kids turned about 3 months everytime. Have you concidered substituting formula for her last feeding of the night. Sometimes that will help carry infants for a longer period of time.
Sorry to tell you this, but I have four children and that was pretty much normal for all of them. She is still just four months old, after all.
You are not alone!!! I am sort of in the same boat as you are- my 4m old was soooo gassy all the time, i am using formula and just switched her for the 3rd and final time- i literally just switched her to soy last Wednesday and she is doing amazing- not sure if your baby is gassy and burping all the time- i think that was/is part of the problem i am having but my little girl is on the never sleeping schedule too, but it's getting better slowly.
So you can relate (and maybe feel some relief not feeling like the only one out there) this is my babies sleep pattern- Between 10-11 at night she will sleep anywhere from 3-5 hrs usually the 3, she just gets up to eat then goes back to sleep for 2-3 more hours, ges up again eats then 2-3hr etc.. Then during the day well from 8-9 in the morning till betime at 10-11 she seriously will have only slept about 2 hrs total max no BS! Now that I have her on the soy she seems much more content, but is still eating a ton! So at night once she starts squirming around i immediately put her binky in and go lay back down, and keep doing it until she has had enough that use to never do the trick but it has been working lately and she will fall back asleep for about another hour, and during the day she is staying up 1-2hrs at a time and then taking a 1 nap,(i have been so shocked that she is sleeping during the day it's a start) but when she gets up i use to feed her now i just try to distract her attention by playing right away and not giving her a bottle the minute she gets up and that has worked- this is turning out to be a novel, if you have any other questions that you want to ask me please do, send me a message-maybe we can put our heads together and figure something out for these two!! Just try comforting her at first for as long as she will do it, i would not let her scream it out. Next thing I am going to start within the next week if she is still eating a lot is the rice cereal in her bottle, does not hurt to try. Sounds like our babies are so use to being up all the time they dont know how to sleep!
Best of luck!
A.
Hi, K.!
First of all, babies are not dogs, we don't train them to sleep, like someone has answerd to you earlier. Your daughter is probably not getting enouthg milk. My daughter slept throuhg the night for the first 3 months and then she started waking every 2 hours. I started solids at 4 mo. and she started to sleep better, but still woke up like2-3 times a nigght. Now she is 11 mo and still doesn't sleep through the night. So if you want to wait on solids that is ok and even maby better in your case, but that means she'll keep waking up that often. Please don't let her cry-it out. Seriuosly, some people treat their kids as dogs. And doesn't matter how competent the doctor is that recomended this technique. I still think that is wrong. I know you are tired, but it will get better. And those sleepless nights will pay off looking at your daughter.
