4 Yr Old Telling Sitter "To Leave"

There's really not a lot you can do to make it better, you've already gotten sitters that are fun, and you've made the night like a party.

The best thing to do is reassure your daughter that you will be back and she will have fun, then LEAVE. If she starts a tantrum, ignore it and walk out the door.

And make sure the sitter is aware this might happen and that she is comfortable handling the tantrum.

Chances are she's upset for a while...then gets over it quickly when there's pizza and fun.

She's just trying to get you to stay at home so the more you focus on the behavior (even telling her later that it's not nice to tell the sitter to leave) the more she'll do it in hopes it will work. Once she realizes the tantrums won't work, you're still leaving and she can still have fun, they'll stop. It's very common for kids to do this, you're not alone!

The only other tactic that sometimes works is to have the sitter come early while you're still home. Get the kids engaged in a fun activity with the sitter while your daughter secure you're still around. Hopefully she'll be having so much fun that she'll be OK with you leaving.

Hope that helps!

Sounds like you are doing well with accommodating your children w/ the baby sitter that they would like, pizza, etc... Your daughter's behavior is very manipulative and you have to nip it in the bud. It is very important that you and your husband have this adult/alone time. Kids do get jealous about daddy/mommy date nights but this is important that you and your husband are a team and she'll benefit from your united front, now and many years to come! That lack of friendship and togetherness is what becomes the demise of many marriages.

I can understand the sadness, from time to time, but being disrespectful to the baby sitter should never be tolerated AT ALL and I think you have to take a pretty strong stance on that (even if you feel slightly amused that she misses you - who doesn't want their kids to miss them?) Crying before bedtime can happen and I would be a little more lenient about this but.... sassing a person in charge and making the rules???? I wouldn't tolerate that.

I would be very clear about what you will tolerate and what you won't, perhaps, even stating the consequences beforehand, or the positive reinforcement if they are good (although you've already bought a pizza and baby sitter's time). Reinforce that you love Daddy and are going to spend some alone time with him and why it is important. Don't ever feel guilty about that. My sister has one of the best marriages of anyone that I have ever seen. Her 5 children are all adults, now. She's been married for 34 years and for the last 30 of them, she has had a standing Thursday night "date night" with her husband. "Date night" for her is a nice dinner, quick dinner, walk in the park, movie, ANYTHING! They spend a few hours with each other to reconnect. They truly are each other's "best friend" and their kids think their parents are the greatest.

You, too, are lucky that you have the "Greatest Husband". Keep enjoying your time together. Good luck.

Hi there!

I would make her a picture album with pics of you guys having fun. Just a small one and each time you leave have a few new pics for her to ad to it while you are out. Maybe some stickers to decorate the pages too so she can show you it when you get home. Just having the pictures is reassuring to them to know that you are not that far away.

Good luck and keep on enjoying any time alone you get with your hubby! Blessings to you and yours!

*** was thinking about this all day and I remembered a time when I left my son with a baby sitter. She had him write me a letter and draw me some pictures. Ahhhhhh, I miss those days with him! Ask your sitter to validate her being upset by saying something like "I know you want me to go home so your parents are here since you miss them" and then have her redirect by saying something like "Since you miss them so much why don't we write them a letter or draw some pictures that are special to show them when they get home"

Another thing... I do not feel she is using the tantrums to manipulate you. If that was the case she would have the "meltdowns" as soon as you ask who she wants as a babysitter or as you are walking out the door. I believe she honestly does miss you! Just find something that will help her feel closer to you guys while you are out!